Let's Hear it Folks ! You Might be a FR8DOG if......

[fokkers&beer]

When center says GFC 179 hows that ride been the last 15 miles or so? and you answer a little bumpy. She then replies that you just flew through a level three tstorm.

When you call the runway in sight and set up to land only to find out after the gear and flaps are down that what you thought was the VASI was actually a new red sign on a paint store. And better than that, when you get to your destination you find out your companys other pilot did the same thing.

 

[OPECJet]

You know you're a freight dog when.....
The only circuit breaker in the aircraft that hasn't tripped in the last month is the overspeed breaker. And that's because you pulled it.

The felt in your Zippo is permanently stained blue.

Your main preflight task is emptying the ashtray, and main postflight task is emptying the pi$$bottle.

You have permanent scarring from the DC headset.

The only emergency you've ever declared was when you didn't have spare batts for the handheld GPS.

The database in your handheld is older than the unit itself, and still has the lat and long for "JESUS" and "MOSES" intersections.

You check the gas and fill the oil on almost every stop.

You've climbed an airport fence because the FBO was closed.

You've taken a nap inside an LD-3 container that some blessed soul left on the cargo ramp at BRO.

You read your charts by the master caution light, and wish it would stay on instead of flash.

You've deiced an airplane using nothing but a maglite and spare underwear.

 

[czr]

You ask center for a “radio check” 30 miles from you destination so he’ll wake up and remember to hand you off to approach. Usually says something like “oh, forgot you were out there,” even though you’re the only aircraft he’s working.

On the way home in the morning, the center controller uses you for a radio check of six different frequencies, and two different transmitters.

You ask for the current weather, and the controller says “ Its cold. Its cloudy. altimeter 29.92.”

The weather at the airport you just left went mysteriously from ½ to 1/4 just as soon as you got in the air.

The proudest moment of your career was when you were asked to slow your baron down for a company jet.

 

[AZaviator]

....if its been snowing for 8 hours straight and forcasted to continue for another 10 hours, with the current conditions at the airport being 1/4 mi vsby, 100vv, heavy snow, poor braking conditions, the FBO's de-ice truck is broken, its dark outside and you stilll decide to stick around for a while thinking there's still a chance you might be able to get out..........

 

[OPECJet]

You've ever missed a radio call because you were talking on the cell phone.

 

[dispatchguy]

(freightdog radio etiquette)

Freightdog: "Center, how about direct?"
Center: "How are you gonna navigate direct, seeing you are a /A?"
Freightdog: "With that heading you are gonna give me."

Now THAT is priceless...

 

[Lucky13]

You might be a FR8DOG if…you’ve ever called the airport and runway in sight 80+ miles out and then cleared for the visual.

 

[T-Gates]

You might be a freight dog if.....

• The FBO owner comes up to you and thanks you for stopping by and hands you his buisness card, but then when he realizes you just picked up freight, he takes it back and shoo's your FO away from the popcorn machine.
• You have to explain to every fueler how to fuel your airplane becuase nobody has seen one before.
• You also have to explain a top off on a Shorts might mean a Kerosene bath.
• Even the nice folks at KMRC get irritated with how much free BBQ your eating.
• You enter numbered airports into your logbook for the first time since primary flight training (i.e. 4I7, M52)
• When your FO informs you the plane needs de-icing at 3am in east bumblef*ck, and you hand him a broomstick.
• When that same FO has no idea what said broomstick is for.
• When you take off, you are cleared direct destination....which is 700 miles away.
• You have ever asked for a block altitude to go "Canyon Flying" when flying though a cumulus layer.
• You know where Willow Run is, and know the location of the green circle.
• You have eaten at Dimitris.
• You correctly know how to spell Ypsilanti.
• You've accidentally ever told a controller your best foward speed, and then realized that speed is over Vmo.
• You've watched an enitre DVD collection of Family Guy inflight.
• You've climbed to a higher altitude, hoping your FO might get "sleepy" and shut up.
• You add MP3 player to the MEL.

 

[sandman2122]

if you get kicked out of the MAJORs board down to the lowly CARGO board!

I couldn't resist!

Adios

 

[ShadowFlight]

CLT clears you for the approach, landing and to taxi to the ramp with him, all at the same time on the same freq...

Belch,

Been there, done that working for CAF in IPJ. Sometimes, CLT would give the visual approach, landing, taxi, and outbound IFR clearances while still 30 miles from landing. CAE would give visual and landing clearances while still a ways out. The bennies of flying into CLT and CAE in the middle of the night.

Great times flying 42Y and 165R although I preferred 165R because it had a VSI and not those crummy Piper OBS'es...

Peace

SF

 

[JediNein]

Cylinder #3 gets a plugged injector and turns into an oil pump, all over the cowling. You only notice because it takes 4 quarts instead of the usual 3 to top-off.

 

[siouxicide]

You haven't landed upwind for months.

Some uppity citation driver tells you to fuel his plane and you consider rolling up in the FBO's LL truck for a good laugh.

When the FBO comes to the plane looking for the pilot and they just can't figure out who.

You've ever thought 1sm and 400' OVC is practically VFR.

You've had to remind yourself to actually pay attention on an ILS to 100' & 1/2sm.

You've answered your cell on said ILS.

You've shot an ILS to mins at Vle.

Another pilot on company freq. is concerned about a problem with a plane and your answer is "aww that one just does that."

You enjoy watching the static glow on the tips of your props and then get annoyed when a lightning strike takes it away.

You've ever air surfed.

You've had to wake up Center.

Center has had to wake you up.

You've had to explain to everyone at your second job why you actually live 200+ miles away and they still don't get it.

 

[skytrucker]

Goodyear?... no, the worst.

You tell people what you do for a living and they get excited...
You explain further that you fly fr8, and they ask, "do you ever want to be a "real" pilot?

You ever been loaded so far aft, you pushed the yoke full forward while taxiing.

Seen a lear sitting on the mains only after a load job gone bad.

Take your own pilllows to the outstation.

Walked more than one mile to sleep because there is no car and the company wouldn't even think of paying for a taxi.

Have the same airports and flight times six days in a row in your log book.

Have some major malfunction, report it over company radio, and someone else chimes in, "it did that last time". (thanks for nothing, A$$hole)

Ever had a fellow company pilot tell you, "I don't write up the plane because the maintence guy gets mad at me."

Those were the days

 

[smellthejeta]

... If the line guy offers to waive the ramp fee if you *don't* buy fuel, because that ten a side you want to buy is a waste of his time ...

... The tower at a major international airport calls the FBO to make sure you found the place okay ...

 

[KeroseneSnorter]

1. You not only know, but have used every one of the emergency memory items on your aircraft.

2. You have manually cranked down the gear more than twice.

3. You have actually used the control lock as an inflight windshield deicer.

4. You compare prop spinner ice formations at the end of a run with your buddy.

5. You spend all night playing with the radar because its the first time you actually had one that worked in 6 months.

6. You smoke a cigar, fart, spill coffee, and pick your nose in flight.....and nobody cares.

7. You have gone a month flying around the northeast in winter with no heater.

8. Refer to 7. You actually miss your quilt wrapped around your legs during flight after the heater is fixed.

9. You know all the ATC and ILS frequencies by memory for a 7.5 hour flight time work night.

10. You actually do fly 1100 hours a year.

11. You have ever written up a vibration in the left engine 7 times, maint. responded all 7 times with "ops check ok"

12 See 11. You write the catastrophic engine failure up as "Your ops checks suck"

13. You have 2 destroyed Continental cyclinders in your garage being used as screw holders.....and you do not remember which engine failures that those particular two came from.

14. You get ramp checked by a fed who is concerned about the amount of oil leaking from the right engine, and your response to him is "You should have seen the one I had last night!"

15. You have landed with one feathered at night and didn't even bother to inform ATC because you didn't want to wake up the boys in the firehouse.

16. See 15. The tower never even noticed.

17. You have shot an ILS to minimums with no instrument panel lights by holding a flashlight in your teeth.