Diarrhea in a freighter?

[gobigred1]

My dad once told me the worst thing about his transition from the DC-10 to the 767 was that when you farted, there was only two of you so you couldn't blame it on the other guy anymore.

 

[migio]

Guava!

Its hard stuff to find,but drink some guava juice if you dont want to blow mud up in the air! Ive used it before and it really works.I think its better then anything else out there.From what i hear,coconut juice does the opposite in case your constapated.<--spell it right? I gotta find some guava juice around here myself so i can stockpile it in my flight bag! Ya just never know when your gonna blow!

 

[DX Rick]

This wasn't in the air. But yesterday, after I tied the plane down, and headed inside...it was a mess. It hit me like a brick...no pun intended.
No warning, it was directly to the bathroom with no questions about it. If it happend 5 minutes earlier, it would have been ugly....plain oold stinky, and ugly.

 

[Daveman]

No warning, it was directly to the bathroom with no questions about it. If it happend 5 minutes earlier, it would have been ugly....plain oold stinky, and ugly.

So that was you.

 

[7dustfan]

I know a guy who is an CRJ FO who had to crap so bad coming in to land at ORD but waited patiently for everyone to deplane. He had to go so bad he couldn't wait to get inside the terminal so he made a slow post flight walk around waiting for the Capt and FA to deplane so he could use the lavatory on the plane. He said he'd meet them inside. But the Captain already shut the airplane down, for the 1 hour and fifteen minute turnaround, so he had to **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** with no interior lighting in the lav and no flushing capabilities. He said he made a huge pile of **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** and wads of TP and stunk up the RJ. He was so embarassed and worried about the pile he made and the smell that he fired up the APU and turned on the electrics so he could flush the evidence away. Sick story!!!!

 

[cforst513]

so who gets to empty the tanks?

seeing as i am but a modest non-pilot, i have a question. who empties the tanks after you empty your tanks? when you go to the bathroom in the on-board lav, who is in charge of emptying the holding tanks? is there a guy at airports who has that specific awful but probably well-paying job? or do the airlines/airports contract out to personal sanitation businesses?

by the way, this thread is hilarious! i hope to start flying really soon and you guys are giving me a lot of great ideas for emergency techniques!!

 

[Wankel7]

Yeah, I was a bit blocked up for a few days when I was a FO on the Shorts. And my Captain was like...well here try this stuff should get things moving again. I was like how long does it take to work? Oh, about four hours.

So, as it works in all of these stories about 30 minutes later I was doing a standing chair with my back against the wall sharting a kilo. It was very tramatic....at least we had a lot of trash bags!

Although, I have recieved some recent advice. Next time I should dump out the charts and line the chart bag with the trash bag. From what I hear it works really well! When you need to shart a kilo

And , "Punch a grumpy", is about the funniest thing I have heard !

 

[Texan Driver]

Welp...
I couldn't find the website where I got the fighterpilot crapping himself, but I am willing to email it out. PM with your email address and I can send it out. It is 1.61MB in file.

-J

 

[ATRCAPT]

I have a friend....

I knew a metro captain who dumped in his hat! I felt sorry for the FO. You sit pretty freakin' close in a metro!

 

[flydaddy0499]

My eyes! My eyes!

No wait, my nose! my nose!