Diarrhea in a freighter?

[bunman45]

You win.

 

[epic!]

Because of this thread I've started to bring chewable pepto in my flight bag.

 

[skier17]

this reminds me, I gotta toss some more immodium in my flight bag! haha Great stories!

 

[Jetdriver69]

This one didn't involve a freighter, but is d*mn funny. During USAF flight school, a fellow student was flying the T-38 solo in the practice area when the urge to purge over took him. He declared an emergency, lit the afterburners and almost went mach trying to get back to base before fouling his g suit. They cleared all the traffic around him for a high speed ILS and a quick sprint to the john. He made it without incident until he realized that he shat about five pounds of duke down the sleeve of his flight suit. He was known as SH*T HOT around the a squadron after that one.

 

[Maria]

The statue of limitations has expired, so while the actual event occurred on a pax liner, it was caused by a meal on a freighter.

There is something rather satisfying about being on a paid ticket on a pax liner and utterly destroying the lav. So much so that after your crop dusting and brown painting, the F/A comes back and empties a can of "smell nice" in there which only adds a fruity essence to the stench of a thousand dead.

Alas, the F/A's countermeasures ran out too quickly as the storm wasn't done wrecking havoc on the intestinal system. The gasket held 'til ten, then pulled a Deepwater Horizon. Unfortunately for the cattle, the lav hadn't been serviced in base and after only a few flushes, the blue juice wasn't blue, the sins of a food service worker now to be enjoyed by all. I wasn't really sure, too busy dealing with the leaks to verify, but I thought the placards were peeling.

The F/A and last four rows were in tears despite the outflow valves being in front. The flight crew must have caught a whiff and gone into lockdown. The gate agent was knocked off her feet by the brown cloud as she opened the door. The F/A made an announcement requesting all pull down their window shades and open their overhead vents, as if the vents weren't already open.

To minimize the strain on the seals and prevent death threats from the dry cleaners, I'd repositioned inflight to the last row, thus I was the last cattle off the flight. The F/A had stood outside the plane to give the pax their farewell greeting. Three pounds lighter, I met her teary accusatory stare with a shrug, "crew meal."

 

[onewithwings]

We do some repo flights empty. While there are no cameras that I know of, you're supposed to drag a portable O2 bottle along if you go on the cargo deck as there are no drop down masks. It's just a big empty but football or soccer would be out of the question due to the rollers and other cargo handling stuff in the floor...though perhaps tossing a Frisbee wouldn't be out of the question!

Besides, you'd be a long way from the lav if there were a rebellion of the catering!

Most just walk to the bottom of the ladder to smoke and then go back upstairs. (O2 bottle optional)

 

[lowtimedriver]

All I can say is that if you are dropping freight any where in Northern California, don't eat at the Black Bear Diner no matter what. All I can say is that I ate there and barely made it back to my motel room. Got the tremors immediately after leaving the restaurant.

 

[weasel_lips]

Cracker Barrel will give you the $hits everytime!

 

[landlover]

oh man!! finally mad it to the hotel after vomiting from my a$$ for 3 legs in to plastic laundry bags from various hotels. thank god and everything else holy we had them. also special thanks to MX for leaving a roll of paper towels in the airplane (extremely unusual). it must have been the jumbalaya i ate in kshv. on the first leg we had a box of new charts, so i dumped them onto the diamond plate and damn near had a blow out on the "#2 cylinder" before i dropped my trousers. upon arrival the line guy wanted to help out with the trash and normally i would have said don't worry about it and found the dumpster myself but I felt the 2nd wave coming on. i handed him the box and said don't turn this upside down and ran inside and prayed to the porcelain gods. repeat twice more but i used the usatoday to disguise my "special" delivery. well i'm relaxing now sipping the pepto and hoping this too shall pass!

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Cracker Barrel will give you the $hits everytime!

One of my favorite places to eat. You'll have to excuse me as I'm a Northerner and really dig on that unhealthy Southern food.

Oh, and those cute little IQ games they leave on the table. Marvelous fun.

Anyone ever forget to pay their bill whilst browsing through the gift shop?