Diarrhea in a freighter?

[belchfire]

One of my favorite places to eat. You'll have to excuse me as I'm a Northerner and really dig on that unhealthy Southern food.

Oh, and those cute little IQ games they leave on the table. Marvelous fun.

Anyone ever forget to pay their bill whilst browsing through the gift shop?

Nope...my wife always seems to have an armload of other stuff to pay for but I've never heard of Cracker Barrel giving anyone the shizzling drits!

Flimsy yankee constitutions I guess!

:laugh:

Now there is something in some of the Indian food out side the states that will tear me up once and a while. Or maybe it's just dysentery...

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Nope...my wife always seems to have an armload of other stuff to pay for but I've never heard of Cracker Barrel giving anyone the shizzling drits!

Flimsy yankee constitutions I guess!

:laugh:

Now there is something in some of the Indian food out side the states that will tear me up once and a while. Or maybe it's just dysentery...

Nah, weasel_lips has the toilet issue. I'm fine with it. I really enjoy the food they serve there. I'll agree with the fire Indian produces, though. You pay the penalty for the unique blend of spices!

 

[Tristar]

Or maybe it's just dysentery...

You say dysentery, I say cleansing. One gorilla, two gorilla - what's the difference?

 

[belchfire]

Nah, weasel_lips has the toilet issue. I'm fine with it. I really enjoy the food they serve there. I'll agree with the fire Indian produces, though. You pay the penalty for the unique blend of spices!

Sorry, it's the defective quoting function when there is another quote in the post quoted...

diarrhea of the forum I guess!

:laugh:

 

[belchfire]

You say dysentery, I say cleansing. One gorilla, two gorilla - what's the difference?

Well, I guess that's one way to look at it...the Tandori Trots!

:laugh:

 

[woutlaw]

Keeping poop alive

I just re-read this thread of legend and thought I'd add something to keep it running.

My own experience with said trauma involves an ill-informed decision to grab dinner at White Castle in between legs one winter night. It was a rookie mistake, confirmed perhaps 90 minutes later by the realization while climbing out of Fargo that I was in serious trouble.

Panic began to set in as I leveled off and I realized that the normally short flight down to Aberdeen, where I was set to overnight, was going to be too long for the festering mess in my gut.

The only airport of note between FAR and ABR is in Gwinner, ND and I had never been there before. It being night and Gwinner being a small town I wasn't sure if the FBO was unlocked, or even if there was an FBO.

I was still fairly new to the company, had freight on board and didn't want to explain to ATC or my bosses why I cancelled and diverted into Gwinner, so I made the decision to tough it out, continue to Aberdeen and hope for the best.

I firewalled the 310s throttles in hopes of shaving off a few minutes and came screaming into Aberdeen, only to find the place locked up tighter than a drum.

By now, I was feeling slightly better so I unloaded and caught a ride to the hotel with the courier. Bad move.

It's only a 5-minute drive to the hotel but my relief lasted perhaps 3.

I manged to check in with sweat pouring off of me, realized I'd never make it to my room and ducked into the lobby restroom, which I promptly rendered toxic. I got to my room before round two hit and I eventually passed out, gut empty and totally dehydrated.

A few months later I confessed my sins to our director of operations who laughed, then related several stories of other company pilots stricken with similar emergencies.

Turns out virtually every pilot at the company has, at one time or another, diverted in the middle of a flight to attend to their rectal emergencies.

Our chief pilot, it seems, has a particularly sensitive stomach and is legendary for in-flight dumps. Since there is obviously nothing even remotely resembling a bathroom on a 310 or Caravan he's been forced to improvise.

Luckily for him, each of our airplanes is equipped with a "flight kit," which is basically a copy of our operations manual and other assorted items stored in a Tupperware container. They've long since lost count, but it's not unusual for the next pilot to get out to the airplane only to find the flight kit contents strewn across the floor and the container itself missing, having been pushed into duty as an emergency toilet the night before.

In one instance of particular legend our heroic chief pilot was fighting yet another bout of the squirts that unfortunately struck while on approach into Rochester one night. Talk about yet so close but oh so far.

He managed to complete the approach but once on the ground realized the gig was up so he stopped on a taxiway, left the engine running, feathered the prop, set the parking brake on the 'van and ran for the weeds to do the deed.

God, I love freight.

 

[brokeflyer]

stopped on a taxiway, left the engine running, feathered the prop, set the parking brake on the 'van and ran for the weeds to do the deed.

God, I love freight.

BS flag just got erected and lit.

 

[woutlaw]

BS flag just got erected and lit.

Ah, now I remember why I stopped hanging out on FI years ago.

Anyhow, I've heard the story directly from the source and, knowing him, believe it. YMMV.

 

[dustrpilot]

BS flag just got erected and lit.

I don't know, I could see it happening, especially at night. I've done the the same thing in a spray plane except it was a dirt airstrip beside a highway.
The prop was feathered and the plane was still rolling when I bailed out of it!

 

[Captain Morgan]

BS flag just got erected and lit.

Oh ********************, you have angered the rectal Gods. May they have mercy on your anus.