Diarrhea in a freighter?

[Princedietrich]

When you're configured Ref+30 and your pants are feelin dirty.....

 

[icefr8dawg]

Got cought making brown snow on the Elmyria airline ramp in the middle of the night enroute to TEB Cop was nice and helped re de-ice the ole aztruck

 

[JD2003]

******

 

[JD2003]

Who was that artist...back in the fifties? The guy who made art by dribbling and slapping paint on a white canvas and then sold it to rich people?

I am reminded of his work when I see a speckled bowl.

Jackson Pollock!...that's it.

New descriptive in the lexicon: "painting a Pollock!"

 

[Princedietrich]

I seem to recall hearing about an artist that would drink non-toxic paint and them apply it to the canvas by.... um.... expelling it. I'll let your imaginations do the rest.

 

[Feathersword]

BUMP!!!! come on, you poopers!!! i want some more stories!!! let's awaken this sleeping thread of hilarity!

Ye bloody knave, before you bring up a post such as these, ye must be worthy of being a freight dog!!

Judging from your profile ye neither posses the experience or the skill to be a real freight pilot!!

Do your self a favor, and take ye bobble headed picture back to the flght training board where ye belong!!

 

[xdrvr]

...In DSM, I've never heard a bunch of funeral home directors complaint about a body's smell while unloading in all my life. I stayed in the plane because I was laughing my-ass-off so hard.
Blasted off and returned to home base in Omaha. Never told anyone til' today!

Dude are you $hittin' me? No pun intended.. That's harsh man!

 

[ACT700]

Let's see, where to start? I do believe I have perfected the art of launching chalupas in an aircraft; Navajos, Metroliners, MU2s, and a few more I can't remember.

Of course it's a lot easier to deposit a boston steamer on autopilot, but I am not scared anymore of firing them while handflying.

So here's some food for thought:

From the time of "release" (of turd) to the time of "impact", does the said "unit" travel at 300 kts???

Your thoughts please...

 

[Capt. JD]

Ye bloody knave, before you bring up a post such as these, ye must be worthy of being a freight dog!!

Judging from your profile ye neither posses the experience or the skill to be a real freight pilot!!

Do your self a favor, and take ye bobble headed picture back to the flght training board where ye belong!!

Your one to talk… judging by your profile you should go back to the docks ya ASS PIRATE! That the gayest pirate I have ever seen, ha-ha….

 

[727gm]

Dateline 2005 - At a humble 121 night-freight operation, an un-named captain of rather large proportions thought he was relieving a little over-pressure and got a big wet surprise. He got up, went aft to dispose of his shorts, clean up and get some clean clothes on. The funny part was another captain riding in the aft jumpseat, an ex-AF fellow, sees the ship being left in command of an unrated SIC, hops up to sit in the vacant seat, and gets a smelly wet surprise of his own! The PIC returned, and sat on trash bags, I believe. The atmosphere was a bit heavy for the rest of the flight. After landing, 'twas said that MX transferred the seat cushion to the dumpster. I'd like to see the write-up....

 

[Feathersword]

Your one to talk… judging by your profile you should go back to the docks ya ASS PIRATE! That the gayest pirate I have ever seen, ha-ha….

Dear Capt. JD, me hartie, you should not make fun of some poor scallywag just trying to call em' as he sees em'!!

One thing I see is your picture of a P-51, something ye should not be allowed to show UNLESS you have PIC time in!! I would wager a slug of brandy saying ye have none??

Ye call yourself Capt, but is it correct to do so when your the only person on ye lowly 310 at night?? Seems to me you may have contracted the scurrvy thinking that's cool to call ye self, but in my eyes that alone is much more gay than being a swasbucklin' pirate!!

AAARRRRRGGGGGG!!

 

[ACT700]

OK, going a little off topic:

Diarreah in a ... NYC subway car!

It's one thing getting the cold sweats, cramps, etc. when your on your own in a freighter, or with another one or two crewmembers watching,
BUT,
when you gotta a subway car full of people looking at you while your trying as best as you can NOT to give birth, that can get embarresing.
Especially now, they all think you're a suicide bomber...well, I guess you are in a way.
And the great thing about New York City is that there are very vew crappers where you can go, even if you're willing to pay.

 

[cforst513]

OK, going a little off topic:

Diarreah in a ... NYC subway car!

It's one thing getting the cold sweats, cramps, etc. when your on your own in a freighter, or with another one or two crewmembers watching,
BUT,
when you gotta a subway car full of people looking at you while your trying as best as you can NOT to give birth, that can get embarresing.
Especially now, they all think you're a suicide bomber...well, I guess you are in a way.
And the great thing about New York City is that there are very vew crappers where you can go, even if you're willing to pay.

we, the readers of poopy disasters, do not discriminate based on race, gender, or location of the aforementioned poopy disasters. please... keep them coming

 

[skydivinguy]

Oh man, Pirates suck as bad as clowns! I'm so glad this post is back to life tho, friggin funny especially since I know the EA (or X EA) guys!

 

[Juan Trippe]

I just realized today that the only thing worse than flying a plane without a bathroom is...........flying a plane without a garbage can.

 

[taters]

True Story from spring of 03

A buddy of mine at STL watched two absent minded rampers hookup an airstart to a TSA ATR -42. The problem is the ATR doesnt have an airstart. I believe the A/C was out of Service for over two weeks. The F/A quit and some passenger even threatened to sue after turds, poo-poo, crap, feces, doo-doo, , piss, bloody tampons, vomitt, excrement, brown juice and $hit literaly blew the lav off of its attachment in the cabin as a result of 1000 psi infiltrating the thunder pot.

 

[MFRskyknight]

Man I LOVE this thread!!! Some of you guys gotta take your stuff over to PoopReport.com!

 

[cforst513]

www.ratemypoo.com

warning: it's sick

 

[fokkers&beer]

Just glad to see the thread back. Sorry I never got to say so long to you Mr. Trippe, I always enjoyed chugging through the sky with you. I hope you were'nt the one who made a late discovery of no trash can. And please do tell.

 

[the_dimwit]

Not in an airplane, but...

I was commuting home from work one day and, as anyone living in the DC area can tell you, traffic was as usual--nasty. I had eaten a pretty good lunch (Mexican, if memory serves), and made it through about 1.5 hours of traffic before I felt the first signs that something was amiss.

Since I was only 15 miles or so from home, I figured I'd be okay. However, 30 minutes later, I had only gone half that distance. By this time, the sweat was pouring and I thought I was going to make the evening news. I mean, HazMat crews would be needed to clean up the mess I was about to make.

I saw the exit sign ahead and remembered a Taco Bell was nearby. It seemed fitting, since it was Mexican that was causing me the trouble. Anyways, I pulled off and ran into the Taco Bell, only to find...

Someone with my problems had already visited! The toiled was filled with a special kind of bean soup, complete with guacamole splatters on the rim. Well, I didn't see much of an option. It was either add my own sauce to the stew, or suffer the agony of sitting in my own butt paste.

I dropped my pants, squatted as best I could with a bad knee, and let 'er rip. Let me tell you something: The water flowing back into the Ponchartrain smells better than what I made that day. All smells and sounds that were unholy flowed (think "Dumb and Dumber").

Of course, I forgot that the toiled was stopped up when I got there, so I tried to flush. As the remnants of two human bowel explosions mixed, I noticed that the water was quickly rising. Rather than stick around to see what happened next, I fled the scene quicker than Teddy Kennedy after a bad night behind the wheel.

I still feel sorry for the poor Taco Bell employee who had to clean that mess up...the nastiest grease trap smelled better than that room.

--Don