Diarrhea in a freighter?

[Juan Trippe]

A word of advice to the wise . . . if you're thinking about ordering that Shrimp Po-Boy sandwich with mayonnaise and then planning on flying for a few hours thereafter, you may want to reconsider. Man!!! I love seafood, and have never had a problem with shrimp before ... but on that fateful day my stomach started churning like a blender set on puree. Thank god for at least having a lav on-board (that saved enormously on the cleanup), but it really sucked that it was in the back of a small (6-pax) private jet. So, I had to walk past the pax and unfortunately they were all forced to share in the after-effects of my misery. For now i've got a clean record in the freighter biz. Happy trails!

 

[anon]

You've got to love this thread!

 

[TIGV]

A word of advice to the wise . . . if you're thinking about ordering that Shrimp Po-Boy sandwich with mayonnaise and then planning on flying for a few hours thereafter, you may want to reconsider. Man!!! I love seafood, and have never had a problem with shrimp before ... but on that fateful day my stomach started churning like a blender set on puree. Thank god for at least having a lav on-board (that saved enormously on the cleanup), but it really sucked that it was in the back of a small (6-pax) private jet. So, I had to walk past the pax and unfortunately they were all forced to share in the after-effects of my misery. For now i've got a clean record in the freighter biz. Happy trails!

ROFL !!!! You also got the funniest Avatar I seen yet !

 

[flyifrvfr]

I kmow this is an older thread but I am just now reading it so I apologize. I can relate to this thread and this is how. Two years ago I owned a tractor trailer and was on the PA turnpike heading home from Ohio. I stopped at the first service area to eat. As I got back on the turnpike I passed a sign that read ' Next service area 80 miles.'

I remember thinking that if I had to go to the bathroom between now I would be in a world of trouble because I still have 75 miles to go to the next service area. About 40 miles to go, I suddenly began to feel the pressure of needing to find a bathroom now. I was taking weight loss pills and I usually had to go to the bathroom 10 minutes after eating because of the pills. I remember thinking that there is no restrooms near by but if I had to, I could pull to the side of the road when the road curves to the left and hang my a$$ over a guardrail. No such luck, the road never curved enough to the left to hide me from the cars behind me, I had to continue.

I finally reached the service area and I knew that I was just 30 seconds from a brown blowout. I exited the turnpiuke and began to drive down the service area ramp at 75 MPH. I wanted to go as fast as I could and wait until the last minute to slow down. Finally, I knew I had it made so I threw the engine brake on high. The sound this makes is very loud and this exhaust brake helps the truck slow down. As I locked up my brakes, smoke pouring off of the tires and the exhaust brake screaming, I stopped and jumped out of my truck and turned to go to the restroom. Just then a PA state trooper comes speeding up to me with lights and sirens and asks why I came down the ramp at 75 MPH. I threw him my wallet and told him if he needs to write me a ticket he can but I have to go crap and I will see him when I get back.

Long story short, when I returned to the trooper, he laughed and gave me my wallet back and said try not to do that anymore. He also asked me if I was worried that I might get a speeding ticket and I told him that I was stressing more about not crapping my pants.

 

[tsky]

nice one! this thread refuses to die!!

 

[avpro91]

There is no such thing as too old a story for this thread!

 

[Winged Sig 599]

This is seriously the funniest thread I have ever read.....

Now for my .02. In my freight doggy dogg stint in the ol spanish king air, I used to

carry a little something called the "portable $h%$ kit." Self explainatory. Well

funny how you think its all good when your carrying something, but wait till your

inside the marker, and its IMC; and you gotta let em fly! Luckily, I pinched that

loaf with all my might. I had to have had the cleveland steam rollin out the side of

my headset cuz the windows fogged a bit lol. Later-

Sig

 

[skyward80]

One of my classmates here at UPT, was flying with our flight commander for the first time. Evidently, the poor chap had had something that didn't settle with him (which could be almost anything in a sh**hole border town).

He asked the flight commander if he could leave his seat during taxi to go use the lav, the flight commander said no (Section IV--Crew at Stations). When he got no response, he turned around and saw only an empty jumpseat and aft cabin.

They pulled to a stop and waited. The USAF has provided us with potties but no toilet paper (pack in your own). This was not known at the time since we had just started flying the T-1 (a Beechjet 400). My classmate had to tear apart his In Flight Guide (a collection of local procedures) to clean himself up.

By some marvel of engineering, the outflow valves sit up front near the flight crew. The flight commander was treated to the odor of whatever it was that had died inside my classmate for the duration of the flight (3.5 hours).

In a separate incident, one of my IPs in T-6s was known as PIMP. We thought it was a pun on his lack of luck with the ladies. After buying a certain enlisted individual a few too many beers, we found out it meant Pooped In My Pants. His O-ring had failed during a G-Strain coming out of the bottom end of some high G maneuver.

Later!
Skyward80

 

[T-1GUY]

Needs of the Air force...

When I was going thru T-1(Beechjet 400a) training as an instructor down in San Antonio, I was scheduled to fly a low level training mission. I had been sick for the last week and the flight doc had put me on antibiotics but he signed me off to fly. I was flying my portion of the flight when it hit... I got out of the seat and ran to the toilet in the back.

Of course the mission comes first, so the other two pilots decided to continue flying the low level. So here I am in the back of the plane, on a hot texas summer day getting bounced around while I filled the bowel in the back. Thank goodness the outflow valves are in the front of the Airplane.

To make matters worse I realized I had no paper, Thank God for approach plates!!!

The maintenance folks Red X'ed the plane until it was cleaned up.....

 

[PC12Cowboy]

BUMP...more ....gimme more...lol

 

[Swass]

This has got to keep going. LMFAO.

 

[PC12Cowboy]

BUMP BUMP...lol

 

[OPECJet]

I can't believe I just found this thread.

When I was flying 135, I was bringing back an airplane from FTY, and started feeling a little weak on the ride over in a different guys 210.

When we finally got to FTY, I hauled the mail across the ramp narrowly missing the spinning prop on an A-36 that was being marshalled out. The line guy who was doing the marshalling went looking to chew me out for making the Bonanza guy hit the brakes to keep from hitting me. He finally caught up with me on my second trip to take the Hugstables to the pool, and probably left the mens room screaming.

I'd like to say the flight back home was without adventure, but the squirlies started while climbing out. The only thing in the airplane was my boss's backpack which was accidentally left. After relieving myself there, the nausea set in, and I ended up repainting the side of the airplane.

Upon arrival, things were still not as they should have been, and instead of greeting my boss who was waiting on the airplane, I hopped in his truck and drove to the FBO. After that episode, I returned to the hangar with his truck to find him screaming something about his backpack.... Forgot about the groundhogs in there and left it in the airplane.


Also had an attack or two at my present job, but thankfully no explosions....

 

[ATRCAPT]

Did this thread finally crap out?

 

[Flyin Tony]

looks like it RIP

 

[acarpe3448]

We had an interesting event take place at the regional I use to work for. Male Captain, Female F/O flying in a good old J-31, no lav as you all know. Well this crew had a full load of pax and a scheduled 1 hour flight turned into 2 with weather enroute. The Captain realized he was getting a real bad case of the trots, he held it as long as possible.

When the pressure and pain were more than he could bare he took everything out of his flightbag, put a trash bag in it and then set the flightbag between the Capt and F/O seats. This particular J-31 had no cockpit door, just the curtin so when he droped his drawers and started to blow mud his a$$ was pointing right at the powerlevers and his female crewmember, and the rest of his body was in the isle between seats 1ABC. After the first round he was horrified when he had to go for round two. When it was all over he took the flight bag and put it in the rear onboard carry on closet. What a day at the office.

 

[EX_CV580FR8Dawg]

when flying 580s in PTK and had a friend who is now with fedex that shall remain nameless use a Burger King cup for the almighty pushback. Now that takes talent! Also had a guy that brought a 5 gallon pickle bucket and some trash bags and he even brought an old toilet seat with him to sit on the top. We all gave hime crap about it but hey, when the "tremors" creep up on ya who's laughing now

 

[Capt1124]

Anyone from jetBlue on here, ask John Jr. (from Amerijet) about diarrhea in a freighter, TOL-MEM-JAN-MSY. I think the only time he was in his seat was takeoff to gear up and gear down to landing.

This wouldn't be Mike A., would it?

I had the same thing on a 727 PSM-MCO-PSM. At least you can go out side the cockpit.... It went on for almost a week. A lot of trash bags.

 

[wwiiguy]

great stuff

Oh man, I needed this thread tonight--ain't nothing like some good crap stories to get me laughing out loud. For a while here I'd almost forgotten why I became an aviator.....so I can have some good stories to tell the grandchildren someday that will become family lore

 

[Traumahawk]

Someone mentioned having a solid grasp on what to indulge on before a leg...

Well, Ol' Sbarros let me down last week. Grabbed a quick bite in PHL and then headed to BUF. I was about completely useless the entire leg...just concentrating. We brought that jungle jet down like a pawnee after a release...

Trotted all the way to the john.

On a random note, while providing a rather explosive tune in the mens room, I was joined in song by an award winning vomit fit one stall over.
10 pounds lighter and quite relieved, I flew another 3 legs in peace.

T-Hawk