Cockpit Etiquette

[robair73]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

You bare a striking resemblance of my ex-girlfriend...

 

[JohnnyP]

.....

I just fire mine into the seat and hope my seat cushion has enough material to soak up the smell before it gains any momentum.

 

[on autopilot]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

You all want us to believe that, "butt" I know from personal experience when a female flight instructor of mine gagged me with her cheeks "A$$"ault while we were doing stalls in hot Florida.

She was like everybody does it right? Nice girl, great pilot. But I was intrigued. How could something so foul smelling come out of someone that was so lovely to look at? She worked out too, so her glutes were very shapely.

In my obession to find the source of this stench, I made the study of female flatulence a matter of top priority.

"A$$"ide from the slaps and wierd looks, its' been a living. I have asked some of my subject to send photos of their glutes (bare is the preference) and have instead had the cops come out to investigate. Can you believe???

Its' not like a have an A$$ obsession "butt" I just want to know and oh yeah, no fat chicks, but I do take em healthy, think sir mix a lot.

(Gives shifty, suspicious Glenn Quagmire look)

So ahhhhhhhhh, you have any more pix of you and your avatar?

 

[Salukipilot4590]

PROTIP: If you're going to fly with someone you dont like make sure you eat a whole cabbage and drink a six-pack of local beer the night before a 4-day, top it all off with a Volcano Taco right before you get to the airport.

???

Profit!

 

[Dirty Sanchez]

As I stand to say bye to the pax (blocking the cockpit door), I let it rip right behind my FO's left ear. They are trapped.

Just make sure your FO doesn't try to get up first and return the favor on a later leg.

 

[PeanuckleCRJ]

In the cockpit it's gentlemanly to drop at will...just call it out so the other guy doesnt get caught off guard.

"Fart in the air" or "Howdy" signify an act of non-aggression.

 

[on autopilot]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

Hey boxie, just wondering if in turbulence you know anything about this.......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTE_gdWyB5E

 

[on autopilot]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

Specific at 4:28. Like your tag line. I hate it when females stare at my man boobs.....

 

[BOX OFFICE]

Specific at 4:28. Like your tag line. I hate it when females stare at my man boobs.....

Exactly like that!

 

[on autopilot]

Exactly like that!

WOW.................in that case you need an F.O.? Specific to flying in the Northeast in these cold windy turbulent months, I just want to make sure your O.K.

What you flying? Should I bring any jello or whatever? I like jello.