Cheap stories and jokes about pilots

[Jetscream32]

A couple years ago in there was a place in CLT that would give crews free refills on coffee. There was this one cheap CA that would buy a cup and keep it for about 3 weeks or so until it finally broke or he left it at home. He denied it the whole time. He left the crew room one day and another captain picked up his coffee and wrote cheap a$$ underneath. About two weeks later someone called him on being cheap and he denied using the same cup. The guy lifted the cup and the words "cheap a$$" were written underneath.

 

[WestSide]

I once flew with a CA who carted around the fruit from the early morning crew breakfast bags fot the whole 4 day...not for himself, but to take home for the family. On the last leg of the trip he took the roll of garbage bags along with numerous gronola bars, sodas, and water. After laughing at him for this he admitted that while he was an FO he would take toilet paper from the hotel.

I also heard from the van driver in ICT that a FA once took the bed spread from her room. Since the maids quickly noticed this, the cops were waiting for her at the airport....she had packed lightly and was able to stuff the whole bed spread in her bag.

 

[migio]

I once flew with a CA who carted around the fruit from the early morning crew breakfast bags fot the whole 4 day...not for himself, but to take home for the family. On the last leg of the trip he took the roll of garbage bags along with numerous gronola bars, sodas, and water. After laughing at him for this he admitted that while he was an FO he would take toilet paper from the hotel.

I also heard from the van driver in ICT that a FA once took the bed spread from her room. Since the maids quickly noticed this, the cops were waiting for her at the airport....she had packed lightly and was able to stuff the whole bed spread in her bag.

Ugh, thats so wrong. The top bed spreads are supposedly the nastiest things in hotel rooms.

 

[Dix-Bag]

You can tell the size of a pilots ego by the size of his watch.

Penis size is inversely proportionate to ego, watch, and sunglasses.

 

[belchfire]

How do you recognize the pilot in a lounge?

He's the one with the giant watch and tiny dick trying to cash a personal check!

There are things that shouldn't tip and things that should. Your beer and whiskey glasses shouldn't tip. Pilots probably should!

 

[91100 100 set]

I'm not a good joke teller, but here goes...

A police officer walks into a barbershop for a hair cut. Barber cuts his hair and tells him it's on the house, as he performs an important job with lots of responsibility. The next day, there is a small thank you package delivered to the barbershop from the police officer.

That same day, a fireman walks into the barbershop. Gets his hair cut and is also told it's on the house, as he performs an important job with a lot of responsiblity. The next day, another thank you package from the firehouse shows up.

Later on, a pilot walks into the barbershop for a haircut. Again, the haircut is on the house, as the pilot performs an important job with lots of responsibility.

The next day, there are 8 more pilots at the barbershop looking for a free haircut.

On a similar note, did anyone know that Supercuts will do a free neck-trim and touch-up?