Cheap stories and jokes about pilots

[flyNICKair]

Request for stories and jokes about pilots being CHEAP

I am looking for any stories or jokes about pilots being cheap. This is for a roast/retirement of a pilot. And man is he cheap! Thanks!

 

[xkuzme1]

...

Pilot tires stop on a dime AND pick it up too!

How many cap. does it take to change a lightbulb.... just one... they hold the lightbulb and the world revolves around them.

DIff between pilot and a pig..........................pig doesn't turn into a pilot when he gets drunk

How can you tell if there is a pilot at your party....................he'll tell you!

WHen he goes out to a bar.... does he bring mini's off the a/c

When he goes to a party, does he have a bottle of wine off the a/c with the cork halfway out.

 

[flyboyike]

This guy in a flight suit is sitting at an airport bar. An attractive female sits next to him and asks him "So, what do you fly?" "A C152" he says. "What's that?" she inquires. Our hero then points to a Hercules that just happens to be taxiing by and says "See that? That's a C130".

 

[PTinbound]

How do you know when your date with a pilot is half over?
He says, "Enough about me, now let's talk about airplanes..."

 

[flyboyike]

How do you know when your date with a pilot is half over?
He says, "Enough about me, now let's talk about airplanes..."

That's a good one, except I heard it the other way around, "enough about flying, let's talk about me!"

 

[arthompson]

When I worked in Customer Service we use to comment on how the FA's would buy a newspaper if they wanted it, a pilot would spend the entire turn looking for one in the back of the aircraft.

 

["GO AROUND"]

You can tell the size of a pilots ego by the size of his watch.

 

[wmuflyguy]

You can tell the size of a pilots ego by the size of his watch.

or sunglasses

 

[Dutch]

How was copper wire invented?

Two pilots fighting over a penny.

 

[xpdriver]

women called police to report a naked man running down the street. She said "i think he is a pilot" The officer said "how can you tell".Women says well he's got a little penis and a big watch.