Best crew departure briefings!!!

[User546]

"Alright pal, the FAA tells me I need a crash axe and a first officer on board this piece of sh!t and I don't plan on using either one of them."

Reminds me of a quote I read one time from an old crusty DC-3 captain flying back in the 40's.

"There was never a First Officer that I wouldn't have gladly traded 200 lbs of extra fuel for!"

 

[mar]

Just remembered another one

"Everything on my side of the panel is mine. And everything on your side of the panel, well, that's mine too."

 

[Ace-of-the-Base]

"If it's rusty don't move it - if it's red don't push it."

Ace

 

[AutoCars Armed]

wasn't a briefing but I saw an fo wearing a hat that said

"US Postal Shooting Team"

 

[Draginass]

Said just before pushing the power up for takeoff:

"You know, I wouldn't take this piece of sh*t into the air, except that the company said they'd fire me if I didn't."

 

[JediNein]

we're takin' one for the team and heading for the headquarters building"

I love it!


". . . and if the engine quits below 800', open the door and yell 'FORE!'" - Standard departure brief in a single at VNY departing 16R.

Another favorite:
PF turns to PNF: "Are you wearing briefs?"
PNF: "Wha...?"
PF starts takeoff: "You're briefed."

 

[urflyingme?!]

First Checkride at my up tight 141 school.

I satrt the check list. Check Airman yeslls "Is it running? THEN FLY!"

 

[wingnutt]

holy crap...i vote this funniest thread EVER

 

[say again]

What did you say??? All I heard was BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I'll do the briefing: it's complete!!

 

[jetexas]

"SALT!!!" -- 'Same As Last Time'
"Don't let me wake up and find you sleeping"
"If something happens, just clap your hands"..."why's that?"..."So, I'll know what you're up to over there while I try to fix the problem"