Best crew departure briefings!!!

[Lrjtcaptain]

check dis
$hit go down for we be fast
we be jamin the skids
after we be fast
we take it on da fly
don't do $hit till 400 ft
after dat, i be driving you be jiving
we bring her round we land her south side

I want to hear some good ones!!!

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

I want to make t-shirts

Me and few pilot buddies at the bar do the usuall, talk about flying and nothing else. Lately we have come up with some good T-shirt ideas that only pilots would understand and hopefully laugh at. Send me some ideas. Here are some of mine.

"VNE/MMO is not a limitation, its a goal"
"When the $hit hits the fan, bust the VSI" We seem to think that pressure failure engine failure, engine fire ext.... can be solved by breaking the VSI. Pretty stupid but it was funny as $hit one night when someone said it.
"Missed approaches are for PU$$IES"

THIS IS ALL MEANT IN HUMOR. ANY OTHER IDEAS?

 

[hydroflyer]

All hold entries can be direct, it's just a matter of bank angle.

 

[mar]

Seen on a Capt's ball cap:

"This ain't no hobby. Show me the money."

The shortest crew brief I know about was two hand gestures, no words. He indicated he would 'go straight' and then 'turn left'.

 

[Flying Illini]

I understand the VSI reference...We used to think everything could be solved by breaking the glass on the VSI. Whether I need to or not, if I'm going down, I'm busting the glass on the VSI. Some people will get it, the NSTB will probably just be confused and the final write-up will say something like "due to the pilot's improper response to an engine fire (breaking the glass on the VSI) the aircraft was destroyed."

 

[sf3boy]

We will depart DTW just like the last 500 times we did. Follow procedures. Questions?

 

[BoilerUP]

"You're driving. Lets go."

 

[avbug]

"Spill my coffee, and I'll kill you."

 

[MTpilot]

Approach briefing

Two rules that must be followed at all times:

Never bust minimums.

Never go missed.

 

[Milkdud99]

Im sure you've guys have seen this before, but i still think its hillarious!


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