Best crew departure briefings!!!

[Pilot124]

Sound good on the radio and look good in the flare..........Lets land.

 

[FracCapt]

Go fast, go high. Any problems, we're going to the nearest bar.

 

[mnixon]

This is an eval flight, you can expect me to do nothing, except in the case of you trying to kill me. In that case, I will crawl up in the fetal postion and scream like a prepubescent boy! Any questions? Great! Good luck.

 

[AZaviator]

"Everything as previously briefed. Any questions?"

 

[Inconceivable]

an actual arrival brief given to me at exa--now pcl, many years ago:

"This will be the the Aubrey/FedEx visual to runway 27. We'll be aiming for the third 727 on the right. Inertia will take out the ones in front of us, the fireball will take out the ones behind. We'll evacuate through he overhead hatch, f@ck them in the back. Any questions?"

 

[Axel]

Anything happens while we're still on the ground, we stop. It's better to slide into that hill than to fly into it...Ready?

 

[whitey]

"Don't let me wake up and catch you sleeping."

 

[Draginass]

USAF formation briefing . . . .

Kick the tires.
Light the fires.
Brief on guard.
First one in the air is lead.

or

The only thing I want to hear out of you is, "Two" or "Lead, your on fire."

 

[lionflyer]

Capt: "Questions?"

FO: "Nope."

Capt: "Good."

 

[blingair]

"I hate you, don't talk to me" or "we'll do it like the last 500 times"