Best crew departure briefings!!!

[Jeff Helgeson]

That's the STL two-step

"604...804"
oops...thats an arivial brief departure would be "Heading Dejur to 5000"

Nice!

 

[FreightGod]

Overheard in a Braniff # 2 cockpit:

"I fly, you watch"

 

[minitour]

"Alright pal, the FAA tells me I need a crash axe and a first officer on board this piece of sh!t and I don't plan on using either one of them."

LMFAO

 

[amaineiac]

Takeoff briefing I heard while jumpseating on AA out of DFW.

After the usually runway, initial alt and heading stuff, the captain turned to the FO and said "and if we lose an engine and it looks like we aint gonna make it, we're takin' one for the team and heading for the headquarters building"

 

[atcloser]

a bit off topic but i had a pilot check in the frequency the other day saying:

"NY Approach, this is XXXX, we are doin' the CAMRN thing and have the news."

CAMRN thing = CAMRN4 Arrival into JFK, cross it at 11000 feet.

 

[User546]

"Alright pal, the FAA tells me I need a crash axe and a first officer on board this piece of sh!t and I don't plan on using either one of them."

Reminds me of a quote I read one time from an old crusty DC-3 captain flying back in the 40's.

"There was never a First Officer that I wouldn't have gladly traded 200 lbs of extra fuel for!"

 

[mar]

Just remembered another one

"Everything on my side of the panel is mine. And everything on your side of the panel, well, that's mine too."

 

[Ace-of-the-Base]

"If it's rusty don't move it - if it's red don't push it."

Ace

 

[AutoCars Armed]

wasn't a briefing but I saw an fo wearing a hat that said

"US Postal Shooting Team"

 

[Draginass]

Said just before pushing the power up for takeoff:

"You know, I wouldn't take this piece of sh*t into the air, except that the company said they'd fire me if I didn't."

 

[JediNein]

we're takin' one for the team and heading for the headquarters building"

I love it!


". . . and if the engine quits below 800', open the door and yell 'FORE!'" - Standard departure brief in a single at VNY departing 16R.

Another favorite:
PF turns to PNF: "Are you wearing briefs?"
PNF: "Wha...?"
PF starts takeoff: "You're briefed."

 

[urflyingme?!]

First Checkride at my up tight 141 school.

I satrt the check list. Check Airman yeslls "Is it running? THEN FLY!"

 

[wingnutt]

holy crap...i vote this funniest thread EVER

 

[say again]

What did you say??? All I heard was BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I'll do the briefing: it's complete!!

 

[jetexas]

"SALT!!!" -- 'Same As Last Time'
"Don't let me wake up and find you sleeping"
"If something happens, just clap your hands"..."why's that?"..."So, I'll know what you're up to over there while I try to fix the problem"