What are the best Pranks/Jokes played on fellow Crew/Coworkers?

[G2T]

On one of the other threads, people mentioned having the new guy get a bucket of propwash, or the FA get air samples. I was wondering what everyone elses favorites were? I'll start...

The capt hits the FA call button and tells the FA we have a hot lav light and she needs to flush the lav to try and cool it down. She reports back and is told it didn't help. He then told her that it needed to be flushed every 3 minutes for the duration of the flight. For the next 40 minutes we regularly heard the lav door opening/closing as she diligently did her task. We all had a good laugh later.

 

[Flyerjosh]

Turned off the LH side windshield heat. (Resulting in "L WSHLD HEAT" & "L WINDOW HEAT" EICAS caution messages.) Called flight attendant to cockpit, and showed her the messages. Explained that we thought we had "exceeded the speed of heat" and told her that we had a "heat sensor" malfunction on the left hand side of the plane.

Sent her to the back to check each of the windows and report which ones were hot and which ones were cold. (Surprisingly, the ones on the sunny side of the plane were hot... hmmm)

 

[Standby 1]

This one for the f/a's....

collect the little sewing kits from hotels and when you get a pissy pilot, open thier overnight bag during the flight and sew all thier pants' legs together.

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

this is in the tower

about 3 weeks ago, I told our manager that our we as controllers were fed up and were all going to call in sick the next day. Me and two other controllers opened the tower at 7am and he rolled in at 7 as well. Well, the opening shift begins at 630am, we all parked our cars at one of the FBO's about 1000ft away from the tower and completly blocked by parking lots and trees, it was VFR but we left the becon on when he showed up as to look like we hadn't come to work...We heard him open up the door to the tower and we all just completly shut up, didn't make a move, this is about 715by now. He finally came up stairs in a semi panic, we all had a good laugh.

 

[Sim Sweat]

We were at a hotel where several of our crews were RON. One of the FA's thought it would be fun to mess with one of the captains who thought he was the proverbial gift. She got about a dozen other crewmembers together in her room where they hid under the bed, behind the curtains, anywhere they could. Then she called the great lover, asking him to come over. When he did, she put major moves on him, telling him how great she heard he was, all that. The guy was overwhelmed and backed down, to the delight of everyone hidden, who then showed themselves.
Ya kinda had to be there, but it was really funny. That particular captain was a lot quieter after that.

We had another captain who liked to run to the CP and rat on other crews who committed minor transgressions. His overnight bag went to places like Ecuador a couple of times. He caught on.

 

[aussiefly]

I cant remember which aircraft it was but i remember an old story from a book that talked about pranks against FA's.

One that particularly stands out is the captain calls the stew up to the cockpit and before she gets there he opens one of the cockpit windows and leaves a note ont he yoke saying goddbye cruel world and then he and the FE,FO cram into one of the engineering hatches

As I said cant remember which aircraft but it must have been an old unpressurised type.

Also I think it was either the DC4 or 6 that used to have a slight gap between the wall and ceiling in the galley and that the odd pilot would throw a rubber snake over it into the galley when the FA's where in there.

LOL

 

[Lead Sled]

I've told both of these stories before in earlier threads...

Back in my air ambulance pilot days we would occasionally have to “gown up” when we transported patients with certain contagious diseases or symptoms. It was something that we didn’t like doing - it meant that we had to wear a face mask and go into quarantine upon the completion of the flight. We had to remain in quarantine until hospital staff called us told us otherwise. While we were “out of service” we were supposed to lock the MU-2's door and put up a sign that read: “Warning, Do Not Enter. Quarantined Aircraft.”

One evening, I was called out on a trip where we needed to gown up. We returned back to the airport a couple of hours prior to shift change. Following procedure, I locked the aircraft, placed the sign on the door, and went up to the quarantine area to await the call from the hospital.

The call finally came just before the mechanics showed up for work. I went down to the airplane to remove the sign and unlock the door. I figured that it would be the perfect opportunity for a little “payback” so we simply unlocked the door and placed the quarantine sign face down on the hangar floor and kicked it under the airplane where it couldn’t be readily seen.

When the mechanic showed up to work, he walked out to the airplane and started performing his “daily” mechanic's preflight. We waited until he had entered the airplane then had the hospital dispatcher page him. He was advised that the airplane and pilots were contaminated with some highly contagious deadly virus and that the pilots had been transported to the hospital for emergency treatment. The dispatcher asked him where he was and our illustrious mechanic told him that he was sitting in the airplane. He was then told that he would have to be quarantined and that they were dispatching an ambulance to transport him to the hospital. He was told to stay in the airplane and keep the door closed. The poor guy took it hook line and sinker.

One of the guys I used to work with had flown C-119s in the Air Force back in the 1950's. They would frequently fly those things with the rear doors removed. New guys liked to tie a strap to themselves and go to the back of the airplane while they were flying - it must have been quite a view.

What they didn't realize was that with the doors removed the "fluid" from the relief tube would get sucked back into the rear opening. The cockpit crew would take turns peeing into the hose and watching the load masters wipe the "spray" off their faces. uke:

'Sled

 

[hyflyt560]

I always like the first landing on IOE when the FO opens the cockpit door, the FA is standing there with her panties around her ankles, and says sarcastically, "Nice landing Ace!"

 

[91100 100 set]

My favorite...

Wait for the FA to begin her usual "welcome aboard" announcements. Just as she has the handset in front of her face and is about to key the mic, get on the PA yourself and clear your throat in the deepest, most masculine voice you can muster. Depending on the airplane, this little prank can be pretty tough to pull off. Some have lights on the FA panel to indicate the cockpit PA is on, so you have to get the timing just right. But if you do, the results will be hilarious.

 

[Four Strings]

Take a can of chicken noodle soup and a biscuit, crush the biscut up and mix it with the soup in a sick sac. Place said sick sac on the floor by the CA seat out of view from the cockpit door. Call the FA and tell her the FO is sick and to bring an empty sick sac. FO fakes being sick into the bag and hands the bag to the CA. FO distracts the FA while the CA switches the empty bag for the bag with the soup mixture. CA opens the bag with the soup mixture, digs in with his hand and grabs a handfull and begins to eat it.

Never done this myself but was told about it from an Eastern crew years ago. Said the FA passed out and hit the floor.

 

[Publishers]

Over Africa one day some of my brightest popped the oxygen masks on a 737 while I was sleeping on a row of seats (ferry flight). A flight who was with us woke me up with "I think we have a problem" The cockpit door was open with no visible crew and the other two or three we had on board were also no where to be seen.
Had my attention for a few minutes.

 

[Skyboy722]

Had a captain fall asleep once so I put dummy frequencies in the navs (to get the nav flags), pulled the fuel indication breakers (indicating zero fuel), and then requested a descent into the cloud deck where I knew there would be turbulence. Just before entering the clouds, I pretended to be asleep also. Imagine waking up to that. He nearly had a heart attack. It was great!

 

[Lostdog65]

Tale related by some Shorts drivers at FlightSafety.

The SD3 has two useless pieces of equipment on it. One is the stall light located on the ceiling behind the co-pilot.

The other is the ice light. It is trigger by accumulation of ice on stick-like vane that is under the nose. The thing spins and as ice accumulates it slows down. When it reaches a certain speed (for lack of a better word), it triggers a light in the cockpit that says "ICE". (It's actually a little more in depth than that...that description is just the basics.)

The captain says you call the F/A up front and tell her that the ice light is on and that she is out of ice for drinks.

(The best ice detector on the SD3 are the nuts holding the wipers on...)

Other than a co-worker leaving his pee in a Snapple Lemonade bottle in the airplane...that's all I have!

Eric

 

[retired guy]

This happened in `67 when I was a flight engineer on the L-100 (Herc to the uninformed). Left LAX in the middle of the night on the way to DAL. Captain was on the bunk asleep, copilot was flying. West of DAL we checked the WX and it was 0-0 (before cat 2 or 3). I called the company, they said just bypass DAL and go on to MSY (our next stop), which we did. Outside the marker for the east/west runway (can`t remember the numbers any longer), the copilot hollered up the captain with "Hey check this out Cap, this doesn`t look like Love Field". The poor guy just about had a heart attack!

 

[Occam's Razor]

The TCAS test button on the DC-9 causes a female voice to announce, "TCAS test...Pass". The cockpit area mic on the overhead panel looks like an air filter screen. We'd monkey with the new F/A's by "testing" the coffee they brought up. One of us would hold it up to the overhead panel while the other hit the test button. The announcement sounded (to new gals who weren't used to the sounds of aviation) as "De-caf test....pass".

More than once we had a gal come into the cockpit and hold a cup of coffee up to the overhead herself, to be "tested".

 

[81Horse]

Okay, this one's really mean:

Flying with my brother in his airplane; his wife and kids are in the back -- the 5-yr. old girl is sound asleep. We land at Denver, drop me off so I can catch my commercial flight, and they taxi away to fly down to the Springs.

The niece never wakes up till they're about to land at COS. When she asks where I am, her dad tells her I jumped out. The niece freaks, 'cause she's old enough to understand there are no parachutes onboard. And her father -- my brother -- thinks this is hilarious. He still tells her I jumped, and she is always surprised when she sees me and I'm not dead.

<does my niece count as crew or cow-orker?>

 

[421Driver]

Heard this one from a friend who worked at Emery flying Electra.

Captain and FO fall asleep on a leg at night. From what I hear, the FE has access to all of the nav/comm and autopilot. FE handles the flight from his bench, talking to ATC and setting the autopilot as necessary. As the flight nears the final destination, FE gets the plane set up on the approach, and on a 2 mile final, taps the captain on the shoulder and tells him to land.


Back when I was a CFI, when I would take students up on their first flight in a 172 from a 152, and passed over the middle marker, I could start looking behind the plane with a look of fear on my face and say "Oh man, they've got missle lock on us!"

 

[dhc8fo]

flying with this crusty old captain who liked to nod off, for some reason or another, i decided to press the annunciator test button. all of the fire lights light up....he about $hit himself....pretty funny

 

[aussiefly]

oh man some of you guys are mean! but i love it lol. Keep em coming.

 

[PTWOB]

Heard this one from an X eastern captain I flew with at another airline.
If any of you have ever flown on a 727 you know how difficult it can be to regulate the cabin temp. The FAs continually call up to request it to be warmer followed 5 minutes later for a colder call.
This guy had flown with a character who had made up a fake thermostat and "stuck" it to the wall in the galley. He also made up a fake letter on Eastern letterhead outlining the new "test" thermostat that Eastern was trying out on just a few aircraft, with instructions for its use.
The FAs would read it carefully, ask a few questions then, go about their business.
This is the best part. For the entire flight the pilots would call back to the FAs every 15 minutes or so with an "its too hot" or "it's too cold" call!
At the end of the flight the FAs would generally complain to the Captain that the new thermostat was a piece of @@#$ and didn't work at all. At that he would say, "Oh well, guess I'll take it back then." He would pull it off the wall, throw it in his bag, and walk off the plane.