What are the best Pranks/Jokes played on fellow Crew/Coworkers?

[G2T]

On one of the other threads, people mentioned having the new guy get a bucket of propwash, or the FA get air samples. I was wondering what everyone elses favorites were? I'll start...

The capt hits the FA call button and tells the FA we have a hot lav light and she needs to flush the lav to try and cool it down. She reports back and is told it didn't help. He then told her that it needed to be flushed every 3 minutes for the duration of the flight. For the next 40 minutes we regularly heard the lav door opening/closing as she diligently did her task. We all had a good laugh later.

 

[Flyerjosh]

Turned off the LH side windshield heat. (Resulting in "L WSHLD HEAT" & "L WINDOW HEAT" EICAS caution messages.) Called flight attendant to cockpit, and showed her the messages. Explained that we thought we had "exceeded the speed of heat" and told her that we had a "heat sensor" malfunction on the left hand side of the plane.

Sent her to the back to check each of the windows and report which ones were hot and which ones were cold. (Surprisingly, the ones on the sunny side of the plane were hot... hmmm)

 

[Standby 1]

This one for the f/a's....

collect the little sewing kits from hotels and when you get a pissy pilot, open thier overnight bag during the flight and sew all thier pants' legs together.

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

this is in the tower

about 3 weeks ago, I told our manager that our we as controllers were fed up and were all going to call in sick the next day. Me and two other controllers opened the tower at 7am and he rolled in at 7 as well. Well, the opening shift begins at 630am, we all parked our cars at one of the FBO's about 1000ft away from the tower and completly blocked by parking lots and trees, it was VFR but we left the becon on when he showed up as to look like we hadn't come to work...We heard him open up the door to the tower and we all just completly shut up, didn't make a move, this is about 715by now. He finally came up stairs in a semi panic, we all had a good laugh.

 

[Sim Sweat]

We were at a hotel where several of our crews were RON. One of the FA's thought it would be fun to mess with one of the captains who thought he was the proverbial gift. She got about a dozen other crewmembers together in her room where they hid under the bed, behind the curtains, anywhere they could. Then she called the great lover, asking him to come over. When he did, she put major moves on him, telling him how great she heard he was, all that. The guy was overwhelmed and backed down, to the delight of everyone hidden, who then showed themselves.
Ya kinda had to be there, but it was really funny. That particular captain was a lot quieter after that.

We had another captain who liked to run to the CP and rat on other crews who committed minor transgressions. His overnight bag went to places like Ecuador a couple of times. He caught on.

 

[aussiefly]

I cant remember which aircraft it was but i remember an old story from a book that talked about pranks against FA's.

One that particularly stands out is the captain calls the stew up to the cockpit and before she gets there he opens one of the cockpit windows and leaves a note ont he yoke saying goddbye cruel world and then he and the FE,FO cram into one of the engineering hatches

As I said cant remember which aircraft but it must have been an old unpressurised type.

Also I think it was either the DC4 or 6 that used to have a slight gap between the wall and ceiling in the galley and that the odd pilot would throw a rubber snake over it into the galley when the FA's where in there.

LOL

 

[Lead Sled]

I've told both of these stories before in earlier threads...

Back in my air ambulance pilot days we would occasionally have to “gown up” when we transported patients with certain contagious diseases or symptoms. It was something that we didn’t like doing - it meant that we had to wear a face mask and go into quarantine upon the completion of the flight. We had to remain in quarantine until hospital staff called us told us otherwise. While we were “out of service” we were supposed to lock the MU-2's door and put up a sign that read: “Warning, Do Not Enter. Quarantined Aircraft.”

One evening, I was called out on a trip where we needed to gown up. We returned back to the airport a couple of hours prior to shift change. Following procedure, I locked the aircraft, placed the sign on the door, and went up to the quarantine area to await the call from the hospital.

The call finally came just before the mechanics showed up for work. I went down to the airplane to remove the sign and unlock the door. I figured that it would be the perfect opportunity for a little “payback” so we simply unlocked the door and placed the quarantine sign face down on the hangar floor and kicked it under the airplane where it couldn’t be readily seen.

When the mechanic showed up to work, he walked out to the airplane and started performing his “daily” mechanic's preflight. We waited until he had entered the airplane then had the hospital dispatcher page him. He was advised that the airplane and pilots were contaminated with some highly contagious deadly virus and that the pilots had been transported to the hospital for emergency treatment. The dispatcher asked him where he was and our illustrious mechanic told him that he was sitting in the airplane. He was then told that he would have to be quarantined and that they were dispatching an ambulance to transport him to the hospital. He was told to stay in the airplane and keep the door closed. The poor guy took it hook line and sinker.

One of the guys I used to work with had flown C-119s in the Air Force back in the 1950's. They would frequently fly those things with the rear doors removed. New guys liked to tie a strap to themselves and go to the back of the airplane while they were flying - it must have been quite a view.

What they didn't realize was that with the doors removed the "fluid" from the relief tube would get sucked back into the rear opening. The cockpit crew would take turns peeing into the hose and watching the load masters wipe the "spray" off their faces. uke:

'Sled

 

[hyflyt560]

I always like the first landing on IOE when the FO opens the cockpit door, the FA is standing there with her panties around her ankles, and says sarcastically, "Nice landing Ace!"

 

[91100 100 set]

My favorite...

Wait for the FA to begin her usual "welcome aboard" announcements. Just as she has the handset in front of her face and is about to key the mic, get on the PA yourself and clear your throat in the deepest, most masculine voice you can muster. Depending on the airplane, this little prank can be pretty tough to pull off. Some have lights on the FA panel to indicate the cockpit PA is on, so you have to get the timing just right. But if you do, the results will be hilarious.

 

[Four Strings]

Take a can of chicken noodle soup and a biscuit, crush the biscut up and mix it with the soup in a sick sac. Place said sick sac on the floor by the CA seat out of view from the cockpit door. Call the FA and tell her the FO is sick and to bring an empty sick sac. FO fakes being sick into the bag and hands the bag to the CA. FO distracts the FA while the CA switches the empty bag for the bag with the soup mixture. CA opens the bag with the soup mixture, digs in with his hand and grabs a handfull and begins to eat it.

Never done this myself but was told about it from an Eastern crew years ago. Said the FA passed out and hit the floor.