What are the best Pranks/Jokes played on fellow Crew/Coworkers?

[Flyerjosh]

I was told a story by my former chief pilot once... he used to work at Eastern. Shortly after being hired, he flew with a captain that took the "gearup, shutup" concept to a new level.

Right after takeoff, he would turn to the my boss and say you have it. Then go to the back and read the paper in first class until he heard the gear come down on approach. At which point he would fold up the paper, reenter the cockpit and land the plane.

Well after about 3 weeks of this, my boss gets reassigned for a round. When he comes back, the captain doesn't leave the cockpit... instead he sits there pissed off, not saying a thing.

Turns out the replacement FO was a real senior dude that didn't put up with any of that BS. Shortly after the CA left the FO went back and sat down next to the CA and read the paper...


Another good one came when I was jumpseating on a Mesaba Airlines flight. We were in a Saab 340, taxiing behind a Northwest DC9. ATC asked us to pull up as close to the 9 as possible so that traffic could get behind us on the taxiway.

Somehow the NWA crew figured out that we were behind them, so they decided to have some fun and start revving the engines so we get buffeted around a bit. The captain of the Saab gets pissed, so he shoves the props into BETA and starts revving back at the 9. I guess it was enough to cause some spurious engine indications cuz a few seconds later the NWA crew reported some questionable engine readings and returned to the gate. Talk about Karma!

 

[Slippery Mick]

I pretended to be dead once. My FO was pissed. I bought the beer.

 

[bubbers44]

We both played dead for the flight attendant when she was concerned about a sandwich shop at BUR that we had just eaten at that made her sick the week before. We didn't answer any of their calls for coffee so when they found their spare key and opened the cockpit door we were both slumped over. He snickered so it didn't last long. Probably pushed that one a bit. Same out of business airline on left coast.

 

[bustinmins]

A 1900 crew was assigned to taxi to a runway in PIT. On the taxi, ATC advises a MD 80 to hold short for the 1900. The Mad Dog Crew blatently passes that hold short and turns in front of the 1900. The 1900 captain was furious! He reports this to ATC. The controller scolds the Mad Dog crew but allows the MD 80 to stay in the spot. As the MD 80 pulled into position and hold, the 1900 crew reported, "Looks like the MD80 has some ice on the tail." Needless to say, the Mad Dog crew returned to the wash for another round while the 1900 crew continued on. I believe the word for that is " touche' ".

 

[Lead Sled]

I pretended to be dead once. My FO was pissed. I bought the beer.

If you're in a seniority system, never do that - it gets everyone's hopes up.

 

[Occam's Razor]

My F/O got me on my last trip.

We were getting continous light chop, and the controller was juggling all the flights over Florida to find smooth air. At one point the controller gave us a turn, speed, and altitude change. My F/O responded, "F_ _ _-off, moron! We're staying right here!"

I heard him clearly in the headset, but didn't notice he'd pushed the ICS transmit button (vice VHF1).

He almost moved up a number...

 

[421Driver]

That's hilarious...but I dunno, gotta say bullsh-t on that one.:laugh:

Heard it from a reputable source, who knows if it's true.

A better one than that which has been posted before was from a C-130/P-3 guy I used to fly with. He told a story of what they used to do on long atlanti missions in the C130. A ranking officer was on the flight, and in the middle of the mission, the co-pilot walks back to the higher-up, and begins to chat with him. After a few minutes, that captain walks back with a few strings hanging out of his pocket. After chatting with the captain and co-pilot for a while, the officer realizes who he's talking to, and starts to look a little shocked. When the captain notices this, he says, "Nothing to worry about, I've got these strings here." He proceeds to hold them up dramatically and tug a little on the left one, which causes the plane to bank left. A little tug on the right one and the plane banks back right. He hands the strings to the officer, and tells him to try it out.

The officer flys the plane for a while and thanks the crew, who return to the front where they had some strings tied to the Engineer who was a fairly capable enroute pilot and had a good laugh.

 

[C-150ETOPS]

Inflight one evening on my birthday 7+ years ago, I got suckered into checking a noisy door seal on a full B757.

Just as I get in back and stare at the silent door between First and Coach, 190 people start singing "Happy Birthday", followed by about 20 pillows tossed my way.:beer:

 

[V2pls10]

Taking the 727 map light a little further. We'd ask a new F/A to come look through it. Asking her if she could see the planet Venus she would reply no. We'd always laugh and say, "that's funny because the Flight Engineer has a nice view of Uranus.

V2

 

[E-handle]

P-3 Hijinks

Back in my P-3 F/E days we used to have lots of fun when we got a new “nugget” pilot on the crew. On of my favorites was this:

The Setup,

Get the nugget in the copilots seat and the PPC (captain) in the left. (we usually carried 3 pilots)

Have the Navigator ask to close the cockpit curtain because he had “too much glare on his instruments”.

Now the rest of the crew, 9 men in all, with all their flight gear on would slowly bunch up right behind the cockpit curtain. We had to keep the FNG distracted so he would not notice the elevator trim auto-trimming for the nose heavy condition.

Once the auto- trim stopped moving the setup was complete. The captain could tell the nugget it was a good day to get some “hands on” and to click off the autopilot. The nugget would take the wheel and exhibit excellent airmanship for a minute or so until the captain gave the “signal”. The captain would get on the PA and ask someone in the back to bring him a cup of coffee.

Now the rest of the crew would quickly but quietly run to the aft pressure bulk head. (1600 LBS moving approx. 60 feet aft)

Well you can imagine the change in trim! And the look on the new guys face!

The crew would move forward and aft a couple of times and then open the cockpit curtain and say to the nugget- “welcome to the crew!”