Cheap Pilots

[Beefy Botham]

There was once an American Eagle Captain who would show up to happy hour at the overnight hotel, order a glass of water from the cocktail waitress, eat all the free appetizers, take a sh1t and stink up the restroom and stiff the poor waitress on the way out. His wig is worthy of a seperate thread.

 

[clippyrip]

Now were moving into urban legends...

 

[DoubtingThomas]

One day I (UAX F/O) approached a crusty old NWA captain to ask him for a J/S home, handing him my ratty, been-through-the-wash-a-couple-times old paper license and medical.

Him: You know, you could send $2.50 to the FAA, and they would send you a new PLASTIC license card...

Me: You know, I'm just so cheap, I'm gonna wait til they have to send me the plastic one for free.

Him: Well, sounds like you're ready to upgrade!

That guy ruled.

 

[Uppercrust]

There is an Airtran Capt down the street who goes to the local Supermarkets and buys their meat (Steaks and chicken) they plan on throwing out because they can't sell it before the expiration date. He gets it at a huge discount, something like 75% off. He then freezes it and sells it door to door as Premium Steaks/ Chicken out of a truck with a logo on the side that says "Premium Meat". The truck looks like one of those Swans trucks with a converted Freezer in the back. Pretty funny stuff.

 

[donvag]

When I was at the regionals there was a captain who would save all the leftover little sandwiches and that was all he would eat on the overnights.

There was also an F/A who was going to make a ecipe book on meals you cna make out of the coffee pots a hotel overnights.

I was dumbfounded on how cheap some people are.

 

[Wankel7]

You know copper wire was invented after they gave two captains a penny.

 

[Soverytired]

When I was at the regionals there was a captain who would save all the leftover little sandwiches and that was all he would eat on the overnights.

There was also an F/A who was going to make a ecipe book on meals you cna make out of the coffee pots a hotel overnights.

I was dumbfounded on how cheap some people are.

You know, I seriously contemplated designing and selling a universal attachment that would hold a hotel-supplied iron upside down so it could be used as a jury-rigged "hot plate".

Then I realized anyone cheap enough to plan on doing their cooking on a hotel iron would definitely be WAY to cheap to pony up 5 bucks for a better way to do it.

Well, that and the fact that I've ruined way too many shirts with cheese-stained crew-hotel irons (god, I hope that was cheese).

 

[SpyFlysDOTs]

Not a pilot, but a former employees friend from primary school, became a teacher. Teach would have his third grade class bring in a letter, once a month to The President, The Vice President, The Mayor, congress, etc.
Each month, he would peel the stamps off these letters, never mail them and pay his bills with same stamps...

 

[southernpilot]

You are not suppose to touch those coffee pots with a ten foot pole! Those things are used as finishing pots.
SP

When I was at the regionals there was a captain who would save all the leftover little sandwiches and that was all he would eat on the overnights.

There was also an F/A who was going to make a recipe book on meals you can make out of the coffee pots a hotel overnights.

I was dumbfounded on how cheap some people are.

 

[aussiefly]

Not a pilot, but a former employees friend from primary school, became a teacher. Teach would have his third grade class bring in a letter, once a month to The President, The Vice President, The Mayor, congress, etc.
Each month, he would peel the stamps off these letters, never mail them and pay his bills with same stamps...

hahahahha thats priceless!

 

[donvag]

You are not suppose to touch those coffee pots with a ten foot pole! Those things are used as finishing pots.
SP

The funny/sad part was that she would have a smile and would say it with pride. Somewhere out there some F/A or pilot has used the iron to cook something.

 

[NEDude]

Flew with a captain who would order a 6 inch sub for lunch and get extra veggies. He would then take all the veggies out and eat that as a salad for lunch and save the sandwich for dinner.

 

[Crash Pad]

We did get a memo at Lakes explaining that flight crews should not empty the continental breakfast into there lunch boxes.

My favorite, however, one night I go into a random bar in Atlanta. Not associated with a hotel or in a pilot neighborhood. I ask the waitress if they have any drink specials... She looks at me and says "are you a pilot?"

 

[donvag]

We did get a memo at Lakes explaining that flight crews should not empty the continental breakfast into there lunch boxes.

My favorite, however, one night I go into a random bar in Atlanta. Not associated with a hotel or in a pilot neighborhood. I ask the waitress if they have any drink specials... She looks at me and says "are you a pilot?"

Thats too funny... I remember flying a four day and hooking up with another crew and having drinks. My F/O said he was hungry but he didnt want to join us for dinner because was carrying a beach cooler! On the trip was bragging about how much $$ he was making as an F/O because of the per-diem. He didnt understand per-diem is for food. He considered it income.

 

[say again]

There are some pretty good tips in here. Keep em coming, I may never have to pay for a meal ever again. Haha.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

One guy I knew dragged a mattress from off the street and swaped it with his. This is a 43 yr old making over 6 figures too.

 

[glasspilot1]

This thread could go on for many pages!

When I was at Comair in the mid 80's there was a female Capt who bragged she swiped all the T. paper from the hotel rooms. I still remember her saying: "If you smash it flat it will take up less room in your suitcase!"

Of course there's the one about how the FBI caught a terrorist, he was dressed up as a pilot but they knew they had him when he actually bought a newspaper!

 

[OPECJet]

We did get a memo at Lakes explaining that flight crews should not empty the continental breakfast into there lunch boxes.

I actually watched my flight attendant do this one morning.

She came downstairs with her suitcase full of Ziplocs, and empty water bottles. She proceeded to empty the whole damn buffet into those bags and bottles, at least 3 bottles of milk, plus OJ....enough cereal, donuts and bagels to feed a small army, plus fruit and cream cheese.

She caught us giving her the WTF? eye and told us she brought her bag because it was easier than carrying it all.

Completely embarrassing.