Flight Crew Practical Jokes

[thinairupthere]

The old,, " Lav over pressurized " caution, where we made the FA go in the back and sit on the toilet and flush several times and the call us to see if that worked, of course it didn't so we told her to hold open the flapper and flush several times to "equalize the pressure"

the dead silence on the phone was enough. But then she called back in a few minutes to see if that worked!

 

[Jack Mehoff]

Good for new FA,

When you are not using a jetway here is a good one. Tell the FA that Ramp tower yelled at you for not using your turn signals on the taxi in. Ask her to go stand in front of the plane and give you a thumbs up when she sees the "right or left blinker". Just flip on and off the left or right wing landing lights real fast.
:beer:

 

[BLing]

Ah man Bling you stole mine!

I did learn that one from you so I will give you the credit. I asked GV one day

 

[BLing]

On the Saab, if a crew member is in the lav, slide the F/O's seat forward give a good hit on the wall behind the seat, and the toliet lid will fall down and pant legs will get wet. My F/O tried this on me the other day but he also included turning off the external power to make it pitch black in that little coffin lav.

Everytime the CA goes to the lav in the CRJ, I casually step on the rudder a few times

 

[Blucher]

Everytime the CA goes to the lav in the CRJ, I casually step on the rudder a few times

I'm sure he/she would appreciate that if they were constipated. Although Dutch roll is fun in the sim, it really sucks in the real airplane.

-Blucher

 

[samballs]

I have seen the old posts about jokes played on flight crews. Does anyone have any new ones? They are usually entertaining.

I told my family I flew for an airline. My mom got on the plane I flew, and called me a liar. Almost got her, but se was too smart. Damn Regionals.

 

[temcgrew]

Announce that once a month the FAA needs all of the flight attendant call buttons tested and if everyone could please push them, sally will come by and extinguish them.

Please tell all of the flight attendants that the 90 year old captain joke is getting old.

 

[samballs]

Announce that once a month the FAA needs all of the flight attendant call buttons tested and if everyone could please push them, sally will come by and extinguish them.

Please tell all of the flight attendants that the 90 year old captain joke is getting old.

They think its funny, ufortunately because all flight atts are pushing their 90's

 

[414Flyer]

I hear testing the fire bell while keying up on the radio, during someone elses takeoff roll, is a hoot.

 

[Limeyflyer]

414 That Avatar is Great

 

[OPECJet]

If flying with a scared FO or Cap, have dispatch put the METAR for KMWS on the release. Mt. Washington weather is always horrible..

 

[Crossky]

CRJ200: The LAV lights CB is reliable. Turning your partners PFD CRT down at night at the overnight is a good wake up in the AM if you're keeping it. The FMS selected out of Auto tune will keep CA's from skipping the Acceptance checklist. Keeps reverting to manual tune after selecting autotune, seemingly only after you look away. Telling the pax it's your FA's B-Day. Telling the pax you've detected that a cell phone is on (do this when you hear it in your headset - I guess it's not a prank), but it's OK.

But don't be a Dick. Payback, well, you know.

 

[Striptyler]

If flying with a scared FO or Cap, have dispatch put the METAR for KMWS on the release. Mt. Washington weather is always horrible..

Dispatch may ask you why you want the weather for a little field in CA...

Kmwn is Mt. Washington, next to Jefferson, home of Tuckermans Rav. I did some time up there.

when you can figure out what BINOVC and INTRNT INTMT or OVC//7 means... then u know

 

[dash8driver]

hitting the space key on the FMS when the other guy isnt looking. he cant see it, but it will give him errors the next time he tries to enter something.

 

[328dude]

Hmm, Ok, here's a few I pulled back in the day.

1. Echo check the new FA. Have her yell "hello" down the lav, if it echo's, it's empty.

2. Place grape jelly on the back of the yoke on the Captain side. He never usually ever touches back there until he/she rotates.

3. In the CRJ, turn off the packs. Open the big gasper vent on the panel and dump about 5 packets of Sweet-N-Low in there, close said gasper, and turn the packs back on. Caution: When said pilot opens the gasper, it's like freaking Christmas.

4. For the new FA's, have an "Alternate Seat Cushion day". Every odd day requires you to swap the cusions on the left side of the airplane to the right.

That's all for now.