Divorce

[jergar999]

I filed yesterday. Wife and I have agreed to joint physical and legal custody, house will sell and we will split the proceeds, equal time with the kids, and I give her $510/month in child support for three kids. I think I have everything set up pretty well, just wanted to hear from anyone here if there is anything I might be missing, or any advice in general.

 

[navigator72]

get a lawyer, get it in writing.

 

[lowtimedriver]

Man, I would take that deal in a second. I'm paying 1,700 per month in alimony and 2,000 per month for my two sons. Get in writing and get her finalized before she changes her mind.

 

[Swass]

Sorry to hear that. I wish all the best to you and your children in your times of trial.

 

[kommutrdog]

Going through the same thing right now. We're keeping the jackals out of it. We didn't have any kids, so we are in a little better situation. Can't even imagine with kids.

Hang in there. Obviously, nobody knows the situation that led up to your split, but what is really helping me is being able to forge a new future, according to what I desire.

Yes, divorcing sucks and that whole 'tentative plan' that we all have in our heads for our future has been erased. I try to focus on an analogy:

One day, I'm sitting there with my wife's and my future laid out on a dry-erase board. I'm sitting there, reading and studying this plan and doing the best to hold up my end, doing what I think is right.

Then, all of the sudden. Things change. Something changes. It's as if a big eraser comes by and wipes clean my future...the dry erase board that once held our future is CLEAN. It's empty. Gone. A clean slate.

Then somebody (God ?) walks over to me and puts a marker in my hand and says: Here's a marker....that board is blank. Write your own future. It's up to you.

There world is yours !! Live strong.

PS I know I'm gonna catch a bunch of flack for posting this, but I don't give a f**k. Divorce sucks. No way around it.

I look at it this way. My "old" life has ended. Over. Gone. I have been given a great opportunity to shape my own future. I hope you can do the same. Be positive.

 

[Swass]

Live like the "Duke".

Read his thread if you haven't. He died living a life full. Live yours full as well.

 

[Casper]

Sorry to say it but wake up and smell the coffee there is no such thing as a good deal either way you are f ed fot rest of your life no matter what happenes in the future. I thought that my deal was good but in the end I lost over 1 mil and my kids have been brainwashed. Remember there is nothing worse than a scorned woman.
Good luck.

 

[PurpleInMEM]

I filed yesterday. Wife and I have agreed to joint physical and legal custody, house will sell and we will split the proceeds, equal time with the kids, and I give her $510/month in child support for three kids. I think I have everything set up pretty well, just wanted to hear from anyone here if there is anything I might be missing, or any advice in general.

No Alimony? Wow that's a great deal! Jump on that as soon as possible. My total commitment between Alimony and Child Support is $3800 monthly, for a long, L O N G time. Doesn't leave a whole lot to live on.

All in all being divorced sucks. No clean slate here as another responder wrote. Just alone, unarmed and unafraid.

Do whatever you have to as far as keeping up your relationship with your kids. They are the only thing that matters now.

Oh and one other thing, never, EVER get remarried. Women suck! They're clearly not worth the skin that surrounds their cold, black, soul-less skeletons.

 

[hammer2]

Man, I would take that deal in a second. I'm paying 1,700 per month in alimony and 2,000 per month for my two sons. Get in writing and get her finalized before she changes her mind.

Geez where do you live? I don't care how much you make . You were raped!

 

[jergar999]

Everything is already in writing. The complaint for divorce, affidavit of consent and marital settlement agreement are already filed with the family court in the appropriate circuit.

I appreciate everyones advice here. Divorce really sucks. I have been miserable for the last three years or so and it still hits hard every time I'm alone, especially at night.

 

[capt. megadeth]

I think alimony is bull$hit. I understand child support but not alimony. Why does one have to pay for someone else when they are no longer together? What a load of crap.

Dude, be happy alimony is not part of it and get it in writing.

 

[dhc8fo]

I think alimony is bull$hit. I understand child support but not alimony. Why does one have to pay for someone else when they are no longer together? What a load of crap.

Dude, be happy alimony is not part of it and get it in writing.

Well, I am not divorced (yet...:laugh: ) but I don't think alimony is BS. If I DID divorce, my wife would probably get majority custody of the kids and I would want her to raise them rather than have to work and have daycare raise them. B1tch or not, it is almost always better for mom to take care of the kids. You have to put what you think about her out of the equation in that respect. Also, not speaking for everyone, of course, but most women ride out the crappy lifestyle while we are getting our start in flying and are making crap wages. Hell, they probably supporting most of us (still).

 

[capt. megadeth]

Well, I am not divorced (yet...:laugh: ) but I don't think alimony is BS. If I DID divorce, my wife would probably get majority custody of the kids and I would want her to raise them rather than have to work and have daycare raise them. B1tch or not, it is almost always better for mom to take care of the kids. You have to put what you think about her out of the equation in that respect. Also, not speaking for everyone, of course, but most women ride out the crappy lifestyle while we are getting our start in flying and are making crap wages. Hell, they probably supporting most of us (still).

I understand alimony with little kids but once they are in school, FREE RIDE should be over. None of this alimony for 10 years crap. She (or he in some cases) can work during school hours.

 

[FlyUnited]

Unless she is married to Rez....then NO WORK for her. LOL

Seriously, if a man wants his wife to stay home and not work for 15 years and then divorces her, he better expect to pay a lot in alimony because she is no longer marketable in the workforce. My neighbor is paying his ex $3500 a month in alimony and their kids are GROWN (and he's paying it for life unless she were to remarry or moves in with someone.). The reason: she has an illness, not so serious either, and during their 20 year marriage she didn't work, therefore so she has no skills to sustain her lifestyle.

Child support and alimony are quite different.

 

[PurpleInMEM]

Unless she is married to Rez....then NO WORK for her. LOL

Seriously, if a man wants his wife to stay home and not work for 15 years and then divorces her, he better expect to pay a lot in alimony because she is no longer marketable in the workforce. My neighbor is paying his ex $3500 a month in alimony and their kids are GROWN (and he's paying it for life unless she were to remarry or moves in with someone.). The reason: she has an illness, not so serious either, and during their 20 year marriage she didn't work, therefore so she has no skills to sustain her lifestyle.

Child support and alimony are quite different.

Jesus! Sounds like this poor bastard would be better off with a bullet. I'll leave you to decide where he should put it.

How can anyone sustain that for life? At least mine goes away in time for me to earn for a couple of years without paying for pu$$y I'm no longer getting.

 

[tathepilot]

I try to focus on an analogy:

One day, I'm sitting there with my wife's and my future laid out on a dry-erase board. I'm sitting there, reading and studying this plan and doing the best to hold up my end, doing what I think is right.

Then, all of the sudden. Things change. Something changes. It's as if a big eraser comes by and wipes clean my future...the dry erase board that once held our future is CLEAN. It's empty. Gone. A clean slate.

Then somebody (God ?) walks over to me and puts a marker in my hand and says: Here's a marker....that board is blank. Write your own future. It's up to you.

There world is yours !! Live strong.

Well said!! My D was a blessing in disguise... I could not be happier with my life right now!!!

 

[capt. megadeth]

Unless she is married to Rez....then NO WORK for her. LOL

Seriously, if a man wants his wife to stay home and not work for 15 years and then divorces her, he better expect to pay a lot in alimony because she is no longer marketable in the workforce. My neighbor is paying his ex $3500 a month in alimony and their kids are GROWN (and he's paying it for life unless she were to remarry or moves in with someone.). The reason: she has an illness, not so serious either, and during their 20 year marriage she didn't work, therefore so she has no skills to sustain her lifestyle.

Child support and alimony are quite different.

That is f***ed up.

Well, first off, if your husband wants you to stay home, it's your decision too. If you CHOOSE to stay at home, and later get divorced and are no longer marketable in the workforce, you need to get your a$$ marketable. Start by getting a job. Alimony for life? That is f***ed up beyond all belief.

That whole "sustain your lifestyle" $hit is a bunch of crap too. If you get divorced and can't sustain your "lifestyle"....guess what? You need to readjust your lifestyle. Too bad so sad....it's called life. Someone shouldn't have to carry you through the rest of your life after a divorce.

 

[capt. megadeth]

Jesus! Sounds like this poor bastard would be better off with a bullet. I'll leave you to decide where he should put it.

How can anyone sustain that for life? At least mine goes away in time for me to earn for a couple of years without paying for pu$$y I'm no longer getting.

I was thinking the same thing.

At that point you are better off quitting your job and suing her for alimony.
Of course, I'm sure if the money weren't there, she would find another "husband" real quick.

 

[FlyUnited]

That is f***ed up.

Well, first off, if your husband wants you to stay home, it's your decision too. If you CHOOSE to stay at home, and later get divorced and are no longer marketable in the workforce, you need to get your a$$ marketable. Start by getting a job. Alimony for life? That is f***ed up beyond all belief.

That whole "sustain your lifestyle" $hit is a bunch of crap too. If you get divorced and can't sustain your "lifestyle"....guess what? You need to readjust your lifestyle. Too bad so sad....it's called life. Someone shouldn't have to carry you through the rest of your life after a divorce.

I totally agree.....the courts do not agree with us. Long term marriage were a wife hasn't worked..ALIMONY! (about the 'choosing' to stay home...some men actually DEMAND their wives stay home with the kids, those guys DESERVE to pay alimony for life)

 

[capt. megadeth]

some men actually DEMAND their wives stay home with the kids, those guys DESERVE to pay alimony for life)

I see what you are saying and I kind of want to agree BUT it's 2007, not 1907. If you are with a guy that "demands" anything like that and you stay with him and just do as you are told by your man, you have a few screws loose yourself.....know what I mean?