Divorce

[acaTerry]

That's the true sign of an unmotivated and ambitionless individual. I don't care for people like that, sorry.

Maybe I read you wrong, but I have to disagree. My wife is neither unmotivated nor ambitionless, we just think that with a job like mine that at least ONE parent needs to be there. Look at how kids are now with 2 working parents. ROTTEN!!!!

 

[capt. megadeth]

Maybe I read you wrong, but I have to disagree. My wife is neither unmotivated nor ambitionless, we just think that with a job like mine that at least ONE parent needs to be there. Look at how kids are now with 2 working parents. ROTTEN!!!!

You read me wrong.

 

[acaTerry]

I couldn't have, I don't make mistakes.

 

[capt. megadeth]

I couldn't have, I don't make mistakes.

I see.

 

[Axel]

Glad you and your future X have worked it all out in a way you both consider fair. But yes, you are forgetting something.

Maybe you should ask the kids how fair they think it is to have the two people in whom they know they can have complete trust be the ones to destroy their world.

 

[Superpilot92]

Going through the same thing right now. We're keeping the jackals out of it. We didn't have any kids, so we are in a little better situation. Can't even imagine with kids.

Hang in there. Obviously, nobody knows the situation that led up to your split, but what is really helping me is being able to forge a new future, according to what I desire.

Yes, divorcing sucks and that whole 'tentative plan' that we all have in our heads for our future has been erased. I try to focus on an analogy:

One day, I'm sitting there with my wife's and my future laid out on a dry-erase board. I'm sitting there, reading and studying this plan and doing the best to hold up my end, doing what I think is right.

Then, all of the sudden. Things change. Something changes. It's as if a big eraser comes by and wipes clean my future...the dry erase board that once held our future is CLEAN. It's empty. Gone. A clean slate.

Then somebody (God ?) walks over to me and puts a marker in my hand and says: Here's a marker....that board is blank. Write your own future. It's up to you.

There world is yours !! Live strong.

PS I know I'm gonna catch a bunch of flack for posting this, but I don't give a f**k. Divorce sucks. No way around it.

I look at it this way. My "old" life has ended. Over. Gone. I have been given a great opportunity to shape my own future. I hope you can do the same. Be positive.

Good Post!! Good Luck!!

 

[NuGuy]

That's the true sign of an unmotivated and ambitionless individual. I don't care for people like that, sorry.

Heyas Mega,

I agree. I was in the enviable position of my wife making a fair bit more than my august personage. When she split, I thought long and hard about hitting HER up for alimony, just to see how far I could push the legal system.
But I blew it off because we had come to an equitable agreement for the split. We were only married for two years, so I chalked it up to a bad call on my part.

Then she tried to lawyer up to snake me for a bunch of assets when I had a ton of stuff that I should have been recovering from her...student loans, sold property that I had paid some notes on, etc.

When this, along with the pre-nup, was pointed out to her lawyer, they settled up mighty quick.

Over the course of two years, the whole marriage cost me about 60k, including wedding, ring, and a new car for her. She didn't get a dime from me at all in the divorce, and my legal fees/court costs were only $1500.


I urge anyone considering marrage to get a pre-nup. Considering the odds, it may be the best money you ever spend.

Nu

 

[CHQFA00]

Glad you and your future X have worked it all out in a way you both consider fair. But yes, you are forgetting something.

Maybe you should ask the kids how fair they think it is to have the two people in whom they know they can have complete trust be the ones to destroy their world.

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better.

 

[Axel]

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better.

Interesting how the discussion died when that little detail came into the picture, isn't it?

 

[leenick]

When you get married, you pay, pay, and pay. When you get divorced, you pay, pay and pay. Then when you die and she is still living collecting $3500 a month, you will still be paying, because she will be collecting your retirement and or Social Security checks, provided she is still single--and why not if your earning over $70K a year to do nothing.

So long story short we guys are always getting f**** and don't relize it until it's too late.

Anyhow, hope you get your life back in order--and I know you will, but it will take time to get over it--if your normal and had feelings for her at one time or another. It took me 4 years to get over my cheatin wife.

Just remember, only the strong survive. GOOD LUCK!!

 

[leenick]

I Agree!!

 

[leenick]

Heyas Mega,

I agree. I was in the enviable position of my wife making a fair bit more than my august personage. When she split, I thought long and hard about hitting HER up for alimony, just to see how far I could push the legal system.
But I blew it off because we had come to an equitable agreement for the split. We were only married for two years, so I chalked it up to a bad call on my part.

Then she tried to lawyer up to snake me for a bunch of assets when I had a ton of stuff that I should have been recovering from her...student loans, sold property that I had paid some notes on, etc.

When this, along with the pre-nup, was pointed out to her lawyer, they settled up mighty quick.

Over the course of two years, the whole marriage cost me about 60k, including wedding, ring, and a new car for her. She didn't get a dime from me at all in the divorce, and my legal fees/court costs were only $1500.


I urge anyone considering marrage to get a pre-nup. Considering the odds, it may be the best money you ever spend.

Nu

I AGREE 100%

 

[capt. megadeth]

So long story short we guys are always getting f**** and don't relize it until it's too late.

That's because you all think with the wrong head until it's too late.

 

[say again]

All the more reason not to get married!!

 

[jergar999]

Interesting how the discussion died when that little detail came into the picture, isn't it?

I couldn't agree with you more, but I can't force her to see it. I also couldn't get her to contribute in any way to the household, come home from the bar five nights a week, be faithful and stay disease free, attend counseling or handle any of her responsibilities.

After two agonizing years I can't take any more. I certainly don't feel cavalier about the split or, more importantly, the impact it will have on my children, but at this point it is the lesser of two evils. The only reason I posted here is to seek the advice of people who have gone through this before because I don't want to make any decisions that I will regret later and right now I am simply not 100%.