"You might be a Regional pilot if..."

[Saabslime]

If you have to repeatedly ask the flight attendant to move all the passengers forward to get the plane into CG.......

 

[surplus1]

If you've ever heard the comment from a lil ole lady... "you mean they let them fly?" (referring to the FO)

Are you sure you didn't mean "referring to the CA"?

If they won't let you into public places ..... unless they also sell food.

 

[WileE]

If you think an autopilot is the guy who drives the taxi from the hotel...

If your idea of air conditioning is getting above ten thousand feet...

If your passengers have to go through security AFTER they get off your plane...

If the government pays you to fly to east nowhere TX regardless that you never have more than one passenger who wants to go there...

If you ever have been assigned 5000 as a final altitude...

If you've ever cancelled a flight because you can't get the airplane shovelled out of the snow...

If you have the maid do the room so you can get more free coffee...

If you search the back of the seats every flight on the chance you might assemble a full USA Today and save 50 cents...

You might be a Regional Pilot.

 

[EagleRJ]

If you bought your kit bag at Office Depot, you might be a regional pilot.

If Tower regularly tells you, "Traffic two mile final- no delay- cleared for takeoff!", you might be a regional pilot.

If passengers walk up the stairs to your plane holding their ears because of the shrieking A/C packs, you might be a regional pilot.

If approach control tells you, "reduce to final approach speed, you're five-zero knots faster than traffic four miles ahead", and you still make the landing, you might be a regional pilot.

If a regular summertime perk for your passengers is a napkin soaked in ice water, you might be a regional pilot.

If you wear black tennis shoes with your uniform, and the stripes on your jacket sleeves are so worn and fuzzy, they look like strips of Velcro, you might be a regional pilot.

If your passenger's journey with you begins or ends on a bus, you might be a regional pilot.

If one of your passengers walked out of the terminal and mistakenly got on another airline's aircraft, you might be a regional pilot.

If center tells you to expidite your climb, so you increase to 800 feet per minute, you might be a regional pilot.

If the flight attendant says "Thanks, watch your head. Thanks, watch your head" as the passengers get off, you might be a regional pilot.

 

[Russ]

If you still have an 8 track in your car....
If you bum money from the rampers for lunch to tide you over till a happy meal at dinner....

 

[eriknorth]

If you keep bumping your head every time you enter or exit the cockpit...

What if you are 6'5"? Does that mean I am automatically a regional pilot?



---------------
"you mean I'm gonna stay this color?"
-The Jerk

 

[Prop Trash]

Yeah, these are all funny and everything, but there's another breed of airlines out there that some believe fit into the "regional" category. You may work for one of these airlines if:

• you wake up in Mexico and go to sleep in Canada
• at a major airport you are surrounded by 737s, MD-80's, DC-9s, ect., but your destination is farther than everyone elses
• the "short hops" are those blocked at two hours or less
• your airline's airplanes have taken over an entire concourse that was once occupied by the "mainline"
• you don't bid lines with 32 hour overnights because you don't enjoy the local cuisine
• mainline markets your routes as if they were their own
• you fly through three mainline hubs in one day
• your FO came from the mainline's 737 or MD-80, and this is his first time to be a "regional pilot."

 

[~~~^~~~]

You might be a Regional Pilot, if you help support the RJDC.

Then again, you might be a Regional Pilot if you have had two American pilots, one US Air pilot and one Delta pilot ask you for a letter of recommendation - in the last 48 hours!

Isn't ALPA's discriminatory policies working wonderfully at protecting mainline jobs and limiting the transfer of flying to alter ego airlines, owned by the same companies, flying the same passengers, on the same routes?

That is the reason for the merger and fragmentation policy and why it must be used - to hold the company into flying their pilots and not subcontracting work.

All Delta flying performed by Delta pilots on one list is effective. Instead we have numerous pages of all Delta flying will be performed by Delta pilots except 50 and 70 seat jets, and only if the Company keeps making money and if, and if, and so on....

Why don't you major guys hold the union, that you pay and that sold you "effective scope" responsible and force a change?

 

[Mitsipilot]

Proptrash

Hey Proptrash,

You must work for COEX or ExpressJet?

 

[MetroSheriff]

You might be a Regional Pilot, if you help support the RJDC.

Then again, you might be a Regional Pilot if you have had two American pilots, one US Air pilot and one Delta pilot ask you for a letter of recommendation - in the last 48 hours!

Isn't ALPA's discriminatory policies working wonderfully at protecting mainline jobs and limiting the transfer of flying to alter ego airlines, owned by the same companies, flying the same passengers, on the same routes?

That is the reason for the merger and fragmentation policy and why it must be used - to hold the company into flying their pilots and not subcontracting work.

All Delta flying performed by Delta pilots on one list is effective. Instead we have numerous pages of all Delta flying will be performed by Delta pilots except 50 and 70 seat jets, and only if the Company keeps making money and if, and if, and so on....

Why don't you major guys hold the union, that you pay and that sold you "effective scope" responsible and force a change?

I created this to be a lighthearted poke at the regional lifestyle, not another RJDC rant. It's a free country, so go ahead and ruin this one, too.

Can't you ever relax and have a little fun???

To borrow a line from FL000:

"SQUAWK 7500, ANOTHER THREAD HAS BEEN HIJACKED!!!"

 

[FlyDeltasJets]

Fins,

Give it a rest. It was a joke.


Being a former regional pilot myself, do I get to play?

You might be a regional pilot if:

#1. You have to smile when the 10'th jackass on the 10'th leg of the day cleverly asks you what movie is on this flight.

#2. You live in Bangor, Maine in the winter but can't afford to fix the broken heater, front defroster, and rear defroster on your car (personal experience, most dangerous thing I have ever done!)

#3. You can quote verbatum the 1900's recorded safety briefing.

#4. You do touch and goes on empty legs from an outstation.

#5. You have ever cracked open the door to watch a couple go at it in the last row of an otherwise empty flight.

#6. You have ever not had enough money to get frozen yogurt in the terminal, then had a passenger complain about how much money you make (I almost killed him)

#7. Your crew room conversation centers on the latest guy to "escape" to a major.

#8. You have to add oil to the plane yourself.

#9. You have to use the name of your mainline carrier when telling people where you work because they haven't heard of your airline.

#10. You hate when one of your crashpad roommate's wife comes to visit because you will have to wear pants when playing playstation.



I'm sure there are more, but that's all I got right now!

 

[CF34-3B1]

you might be a regional pilot if you go to the bank to deposit your paycheck, and the teller says "Geee, and I thought pilots made a lot of money"

you might be a regional pilot if when you walk through the terminal, a mainline F/A sees you, looks at your uniform just long enough to positively identify who you work for, then pretends not to see you.

 

[chperplt]

FlyDeltasJets

I can relate to 9 out of those 10 items there... Although since upgrading, the passenger brief has evaded me somewhat.

 

[Typhoon1244]

If your wife is talking to a group of AAL, DAL, UAL, SWA, etc. pilot wives, and they ask her who you fly for, and when she replies they quietly say "oh" with no emotion whatsoever...true story!...you might be a regional pilot.

If passengers tap you on the shoulder while you're being vectored for an approach to ask how soon you're landing ...

If every soul aboard the airplane knows what's happening in the lavatory as soon as it happens...

If you have to stand at a twenty degree nose-up angle to take a leak in your lavatory...assuming you're a guy...or maybe not...

If you don't have a lavatory...

If you've ever had a passenger call an abort during takeoff...again, true story! A female Chicago Express J31 passenger realized she was on the wrong airplane at ninety knots and screamed "Noooooooo!!!" at the top of her lungs.

If those big OshKosh ARFF trucks outweigh your aircraft by a healthy margin...

Mostly for F/O's: if you've stopped trying to get the oil smears off your uniform shirts...

If you can't talk to your wife in the car without flipping your thumb against the corner of the steering wheel...trying to find the hot-mike switch...

And finally...if mainline guys don't talk to you when you say "howdy" in the terminal...

...you might be a regional pilot!

 

[sandman 10338]

A large pizza can feed a family of four............But you can't.

 

[jetexas]

...You take a girl out on a date and she looks at your 15 year old Honda and says " I thought pilots made a lot of money"?

 

[AAsRedHeadedbro]

Using that criterion, every pilot flying an F-100, 737, or any DC-9 derivative would be a regional pilot.

You know what...come to think of it...hmmm...

 

[rk772]

You might be a CARGO pilot if
you've ever chugged the last bit of your water so you can pee in the bottle.
you've ever considered emptying the letters out of a bag and taking a dump in it because CVG is still 2 hours away.

 

[aceshigh]

True Story!!

You might be a cheap-ass mainline pilot if you ask a regional FO if you can have their copy of Maxim instead of springing for you owned subscription. Happened on a U flight. I told him he could have the magazine as long as half of all people that read it were WO pilots and they had first crack at reading it. For some reason, he didn't think my comment was very funny.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Huh?

...as long as half of all people that read it were WO pilots and they had first crack at reading it. For some reason, he didn't think my comment was very funny.

Forgive my ignorance; without knowing what a "WO pilot" is, I don't know how funny it was either.

Let me make sure I got this straight. You're a regional F/O, and some mainline guy came up and wanted your magazine? That took a lot of nerve.