You Just Might Be A FLOPS Pilot If ...

[Diesel]

No shizzle this happened to me.

Stayed at an embassy bathroom was on the right.

Next night another embassy. I'm in the bathroom at 2am wondering where the hell the light switch was. Eh frig it i'll be sure to hit somewhere near the bowl. Then my head started to clear.

Fing closet. Bathroom was on the left in this embassy.

When you land at a signature and you get all excited because they have little booths where you can close the door and take a dump in private.

Signature IAD because they have the best games in rooms that look like you should be getting a lap dance.

You wonder what all the extra crap that rudy's puts in their food boxes. fruit cup, bean salad, cheese, crackers, a friggin flower.

Your depressed because rudy's stopped putting that wheel cheese in the dinner instead they put the stick of cheese.

the pax show up with a suburban that's empty and you breath a colective sigh of relief. Only for them to tell you the bags are in the other suburban

 

[minimums]

You know you are a FLOPS pilot if:
-You call for a checklist and the little jerk reminds you its a "Do List".

This one really cracked me up!

 

[minimums]

When your farts start to smell like canteloupe.

When on Day 7 even the 5ft. tall Guatemalan housekeeper (who crossed the Rio Grande just 2 weeks ago) starts looking like Jennifer Lopez.

When your weekend morning "routine" is thrown out the window because someone is substituting for Juliet Huddy on "Fox and Friends".

When you take a middle-of-the-night pee sitting down because you don't want to turn any lights on (and you still found your way to the toilet without bumping into anything).

I pi$$ed myself on this post Dawg!!

 

[G100driver]

Stayed at an embassy bathroom was on the right.

Next night another embassy. I'm in the bathroom at 2am wondering where the hell the light switch was. Eh frig it i'll be sure to hit somewhere near the bowl. Then my head started to clear.

Fing closet. Bathroom was on the left in this embassy.

LMAO

Note to self .... "Stay at Hilton next time I am overnighting in IAD."

 

[justacfii]

Thanks folks........it's day 1 tomorrow but I've got a smile on my face.

I was wondering if it was just me at Signature.......

 

[HMR]

Fing closet. Bathroom was on the left in this embassy.

Priceless. After something like 25 days in a row of flying into Mercury at KFAT, I go to another Mercury at another airport. Same exact building except for one important difference. I walk into the restroom, tell the woman at the sink "Whoops, I think you're in the wrong place." It's not until I'm in the stall that a hot flash comes over me and I realize there are no urinals. Guess they decided to put the Men's Room on the LEFT at that Mercury.

 

[LearLove]

"complicated Crowne Plaza Sony Dream Machine CD/alarm clock."

That Crowne Plaza Sony Dream Machine is a bitch. That thing needs to be covered in recurrent.

 

[smellthejeta]

"complicated Crowne Plaza Sony Dream Machine CD/alarm clock."

That Crowne Plaza Sony Dream Machine is a bitch. That thing needs to be covered in recurrent.

Speaking of the Crowne and wakeup calls... They actually sent a security guard to wake me up because I failed to "respond" to a wakeup call.

 

[beytzim]

You might be an NJA pilot if:

A Flight Options guy asks you and then laughs at you about the status of negotiations

People ask you if you want to be a real pilot (i.e. airline pilot)

People ask you what you do with all the extra you're making as a pilot

You plead with the mortgage broker to approve your loan despite the monthly $4000 balance on your AMEX

You can't figure out the color of your company tie, and then wonder why the hell you're wearing it in the first place

You packed for cold weather and you spend the entire tour in Florida

You packed for hot weather and you spend the entire tour in North Dakota

You envy the shuttle van driver as having a high paying job and being home every night

You can pack your suitcase at home in 60 seconds flat

You never unpack your toiletries bag. Even when at home.

You're happy if the shuttle van picks you up only 20 minutes late

Spend 30 minutes explaining to every shmuck out there 10 times a day what 'fractional' means

Show off to your friends that you work for Warren Buffett, curse his name out two seconds later

It's a good day when the company only changed the itenerary three times

Afraid of drinking on the road because you don't know who's watching, but do it anyway

Your car's battery has been found dead because you've been gone for so long

I could go on all day....

 

[learflyer]

You are on your 4th day off or so at home and pissed that you only have 3 days left.

only a half stick of deoderant left and wondering if it will last eight days.

you make it last eight days.

bring less and less white shirts each tour cuz you just don't give a shiznizzle any more.

 

[Ihaveflown]

You go to TEB for the night (every night), call your wife, she reminds you to check your P.O. Box for mail.

 

[Ihaveflown]

While drinking with your buddies you make a new drinking game. "Where is the bathroom in every FBO across the country."

 

[Heavy Set]

You are on your 4th day off or so at home and pissed that you only have 3 days left.

only a half stick of deoderant left and wondering if it will last eight days.

you make it last eight days.

bring less and less white shirts each tour cuz you just don't give a shiznizzle any more.

COEX is hiring...

 

[learflyer]

COEX is hiring...

Hey, it ain't that bad!

 

[choppengruven]

You know your a flight options pilot when : You pour out the coffe and no matter where you are it flows right back to your shoes.

You know your a flight options pilot when : youve flow 5 straight 14 hour days and then something big breaks only to find out they can MEL it and give ya min rest again.

You know your a flight options pilot when : You see a Flops CJ on a ramp with pilots accualy intending to fly it and you think youve seen a ghost.

You know your a flight options pilot when : Maintenece MEL's the knife valve in the lave and you land in DAL to find a nice tepee shaped tird for you to deal with on a 20 min turn.

You know your a flight options pilot when : You see another Flops pilot loading 3 SUV's full of luggage and you think poor bastard but ohh wait thats my partner and hes just loading the first 3 cars.

You know your a flight options pilot when : You envy the line sevicemens job.

You know your a flight options pilot when : You think unemployment is a noble proffession.

You know your a flight options pilot when : You want to rip the tounge out of the next person that says you have a neat job.