You Just Might Be A FLOPS Pilot If ...

[dojetdriver]

You know which terminals have the best public facilities to take a sh**.

As a commuter guy I can relate to alot of these, but this one is by far my favorite!
Being a conniseur of such facilities myself.

Nothing beats spawing a big brown trout in a nice and clean, preferebly quiet and spacious place. Space, I like to have have my space while I'm in there ruling the empire.

Cheers!

 

[Galaxy]

More of them...

You know you are a FLOPS pilot if:
-You call for a checklist and the little jerk reminds you its a "Do List".
-You have flight planning to do because of a recovery and all you can think if why does Rudy's use the biggest box that wont fit anywhere in the airplane.
-You have reheated a meal using a Hair dryer in the sink
-You go to B-fast in Holiday Inn CGF in your PJ's because it just feels like home.
-You think the SOAR (Sucessful outcome are rare) program is really SORE (Squandering our resources effectivly)
-When you have a MX squak and the idiot on the other end asks after a short pause if you have written them up yet and acts like you killed his cat when you say yes.
-You have a 40% chance at this is the last time you will go to recurrent on your current airplane.
-Your wife gives you new luggage for a Christmas present every year.
-You only know what your kids look like from the picture in your wallet.
-You can't wait to see another plane of same type so you can gab about what the PM asked you to do the other day.
-When all the majority of the folks collecting SFO pay don't even fly? Hence Senior Flight Officer....
-When you get to the hotel the first thing you do with your laptop is check this board and the ezboard-then you check the pilot job sites..
-You take the mel INOP stickers home and put them on your dash in your car because it just doesnt look right to you without them.
-You curse at your BBerry at least 5 times a day.
-You get SPAM email from the company about WX and the work they just put you through.
-Whenever a young kid asks you about being a pilot you tell him to go to meedical school and buy a Bonanza and have fun.

-

 

[hawkercpt]

You know where every nudey bar in North America is.

 

[slowto250]

Not a FLOPS guy, but qualified to contribute :

Your wife quit buying soap and shampoo years ago

When you tip the van driver, you realize their tips exceed yours

When the owner tips the Limo driver, uhhh....see above

Pax in your van ask which airline you fly for

You're so tired when the wake-up call comes, you talk back to a recording

When the subject of vacation destinations comes up, you tell the wife you're already sick of TPA, APF, MSY, etc., and can't think of anyplace new to visit

 

[leardawg]

When your farts start to smell like canteloupe.

When on Day 7 even the 5ft. tall Guatemalan housekeeper (who crossed the Rio Grande just 2 weeks ago) starts looking like Jennifer Lopez.

When your weekend morning "routine" is thrown out the window because someone is substituting for Juliet Huddy on "Fox and Friends".

When you take a middle-of-the-night pee sitting down because you don't want to turn any lights on (and you still found your way to the toilet without bumping into anything).

 

[Diesel]

No shizzle this happened to me.

Stayed at an embassy bathroom was on the right.

Next night another embassy. I'm in the bathroom at 2am wondering where the hell the light switch was. Eh frig it i'll be sure to hit somewhere near the bowl. Then my head started to clear.

Fing closet. Bathroom was on the left in this embassy.

When you land at a signature and you get all excited because they have little booths where you can close the door and take a dump in private.

Signature IAD because they have the best games in rooms that look like you should be getting a lap dance.

You wonder what all the extra crap that rudy's puts in their food boxes. fruit cup, bean salad, cheese, crackers, a friggin flower.

Your depressed because rudy's stopped putting that wheel cheese in the dinner instead they put the stick of cheese.

the pax show up with a suburban that's empty and you breath a colective sigh of relief. Only for them to tell you the bags are in the other suburban

 

[minimums]

You know you are a FLOPS pilot if:
-You call for a checklist and the little jerk reminds you its a "Do List".

This one really cracked me up!

 

[minimums]

When your farts start to smell like canteloupe.

When on Day 7 even the 5ft. tall Guatemalan housekeeper (who crossed the Rio Grande just 2 weeks ago) starts looking like Jennifer Lopez.

When your weekend morning "routine" is thrown out the window because someone is substituting for Juliet Huddy on "Fox and Friends".

When you take a middle-of-the-night pee sitting down because you don't want to turn any lights on (and you still found your way to the toilet without bumping into anything).

I pi$$ed myself on this post Dawg!!

 

[G100driver]

Stayed at an embassy bathroom was on the right.

Next night another embassy. I'm in the bathroom at 2am wondering where the hell the light switch was. Eh frig it i'll be sure to hit somewhere near the bowl. Then my head started to clear.

Fing closet. Bathroom was on the left in this embassy.

LMAO

Note to self .... "Stay at Hilton next time I am overnighting in IAD."

 

[justacfii]

Thanks folks........it's day 1 tomorrow but I've got a smile on my face.

I was wondering if it was just me at Signature.......