Worst Pa Announcements

[Swaayze]

The worst PA is anything between the hours of 8p-8a!

 

[Flyerjosh]

My favorite was the UAL captain that gave about a 4 minute descent brief flying into LGA to all of us on the radio... He talked about the weather, and the sights, and how wonderful it was to have us all along, and to enjoy our stay, and what gate we were arriving in, and how great it was that we put our faith in a struggling airline, and then to please listen to the FA's as they prepared the cabin for arrival.

(Not that anybody else has ever done it, but it had to take the cake for longest ATC transmission in history...)

 

[GEORGE DUBYA]

I just read the ATIS I don't give a crap if they know what I am talking about. Half of them don't listen anyway. I hate passengers. 1/2 bank mode and crap what the hell!!!!! Screw the passengers! They smell up my lavatory.

 

[eight8kcabpilot]

Crossky...that was halarious.
Anyhow, when I was on IOE I did a horrible PAX briefing. After it was all over, I looked at my captain and said "I just butchered that briefing" He said "Who gives a $hit, we're paying you to be a pilot, not a fu#king DJ." CLASSIC. Ever since then, I haven't really cared about how well I do the pax brief, and I probably do a better job because of it.

 

[PhatAJ2008]

I hate passengers. 1/2 bank mode and crap what the hell!!!!! Screw the passengers! They smell up my lavatory.

... Um, they also pay the bills

 

[JasonW]

I've heard NWA give PAs over GFK ground a few times. Also while on a NWA flight out of GFK last winter the FO gave a PA like "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your FO speaking. I know there are probably a lot of UND aviation students on board so here's a detailed breifing..." and proceded to give an entire approach briefing including present position, altitude, which MSP STAR we were to fly, expected runway, wx, gate, and so on.

 

[CoolSidePillow]

"Flight attendant please get off my lap for departure"

 

[BLing]

Was flying from ORD to LNK the other night on Air pissconsin ,

"..Uhhh good...good evening ladied and gentlemen, ..umm.......were gonna be flying at flight level 240...I mean.. um 24000, feet,,,,,,,,,,,,,umm,,looks like there wont be any bumps so dont worry about that.....uh,.. it should take about an hour......an hour to get to Omaha...........I mean , I mean Lincoln.".......( didnt realize he was still on)....."God D#mmitt that sucked"..( The Cap - " oh no you'll be fine ").... "Oh Cra"....( Fo finaly figures it out)

Cabin laughing..snikering...etc..

No joke, CA did the rest of the PA's ( I didnt realize that FO's do PA's )

FO reminded me of those really sad looking high school kids at McDonalds that are stoned and trying thier dangdest to take your order.

You are so gay and full of sh!t! Nice avatar though!

 

[AWACoff]

BLing,

No offense intended....BUT...would you be offended if I conducted a poll to see if anybody else finds you avatar as disgusting as I do? I'm trying to eat here (GAG!!!). Is that really a picture of the creator of this thread?

 

[taters]

BLing,

No offense intended....BUT...would you be offended if I conducted a poll to see if anybody else finds you avatar as disgusting as I do? I'm trying to eat here (GAG!!!). Is that really a picture of the creator of this thread?

probably not considering he eats a million dicks a second

 

[PeanuckleCRJ]

I've always wanted to get on there and do the charlie brown adults' voice for a couple minutes... "wah wah wah wow..... wowo wah wah wow.."



My voice cracked big time a couple months ago. I'd barely flipped the switch before the FA was on the phone calling up front making fun of me. Fortunately have never done the ATC/PA switch up yet...

 

[BLing]

BLing,

No offense intended....BUT...would you be offended if I conducted a poll to see if anybody else finds you avatar as disgusting as I do? I'm trying to eat here (GAG!!!). Is that really a picture of the creator of this thread?

I am sorry to hear that you are so additcted to flighinfo that you cannot give it enough of a break to go enjoy a nice meal. Anways, to answer both of your questions, yes!

 

[acaTerry]

"Old days" ACA-ers will get this one, especially the J32 crews.....
"Boom chicka bow" was on the end of one guys PA every time.

 

[labbats]

I remember doing on PA, when as we were descending into Las Vegas, we had to take evasive manuevers to avoid some stupid Cessna at 15000. What a taterface.

 

[jetexas]

One of my worst PA's was when I was new. We were waiting for connecting bags and delayed at the gate. I said "folks...we are waiting on some connecting bags from another flight...which should make some of you happy because now at least some of you will be getting your bags".
Not a PA, but I've done this before. (Long day, short overnight induced). I was talking to the Captain and Center went through a surge of calls to us. I was so used to pressing the button to talk, that I pressed it a few times when I was talking to the Captain. Doh.

 

[BLing]

I remember doing on PA, when as we were descending into Las Vegas, we had to take evasive manuevers to avoid some stupid Cessna at 15000. What a taterface.

Ouch!

 

[labbats]

Merry Christmas to you sir!

 

[EDUC8-or]

Except for the required before takeoff PA I make on every flight, every other PA I make is bad. I flew with a CA who didn't like to make PA's, and I'm not sure if he took more pleasure in not having to make a PA or listening to me butcher mine.

Some dumb things I've said:

"Sit back, relax, and have a cruise flight, I mean cruisin' flight, I mean good flight."

"I'm going to turn off the seat belt sign so feel free to use the restroom, however I remind you to keep your seat fastened securely around you while seated."

"Boy that sucked!" CA tells me PA is still on. "OOPS!"

Funny thing is, in my old career I used to give speeches to over 100 people on a regular basis and never got nervous, plus I was the lead singer in a band and we used to play to some packed bars and that never bothered me. Give me the hand mic for a PA and I start to panic, go figure.

 

[rogerdoger]

usually i just lie to the pax. Ill say things like, "were cruising at about mach 4 at 50 feet and well be at our destination tomorrow sometime." ill also say "we hope you've enjoyed the service from our tokyo based flight crew."

you do that and youll be amazed at how many people really dont pay attention to those pax announcements.

 

[ohplease!]

Mine.