Worst Airport to Taxi Around?

[nimtz]

DTW, no doubts about it. Those meatheads bark five instructions at you, then dump you to another frequency. Hey guys, short term memory doesn't last longer then 8 seconds. Never had that much trouble there before, but once the NW terminal opened up it gave those guys freedom to be total pr*cks. I'll agree that IAH suxs too, especially during peak banks when everyones log jams up by 15L.

However what ever Express dude flammed EWR, you gotta be kidding me. Those guys up there will work with you through ever last detail and never once yell if you screw up or are slow on a readback. Just imagine how awesome EWR would run if it had a layout like DTW. EWR is so small, I don't see how you could really get lost or miss that critical of a turn. I wish they could clone every single New York Controller, cause it would probably solve half of our ATC problems.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Charleston, S.C. (CHS) leaves a bit to be desired: no parallel taxiways. Well, none that you can use without being in a C-17.

DFW hacks me off when they send you to the other side of the airport the long way around after landing. And you can't cross a runway until American's launched their entire fleet.

 

[Humblepilot]

Hmmmmmmmmm

I agree about ORD. Don't stop moving and don't reply when they are machine gunning clearances. LGA when it grid locks because of departure gates being shutdown and arriving airplanes landing is pretty crappy.

Humble

 

[Typhoon1244]

Oh, I almost forgot because I haven't been there in a while: George Bush Intergalactic...IAH.

What a nightmare! "Candler, exit the runway at November-Yankee, right on November-Romeo, to November-November, give way to a mad dog on Whiskey-Sierra, left on Whiskey-Tango, hold short of Sierra-Sierra..." etc, etc. Places where every taxiway has two letters drive me nuts!

 

[jbDC9]

IAH sucks ass! I'm based there and still get confused by it.

ORD I don't like, controllers talk too fast and I don't know the usual flow of things. Then they get pissy when I ask them to clarify...

DTW can fall off the planet, what a sh!thole airport! Taxiways and runways everywhere, plus 3-4 different ground/ramp controllers just to taxi out... woof!

 

[SkywayFO]

Once you know the normal flow at ORD it is the easiest airport in the world. Here is the normal conversation.

"BlueRidge 123 off 4R, we need the Box."

"Follow company to blueridge parking"

Got to love simplicity like that!!

 

[mckpickle]

EWR ROCKS!!!

and you guys bashing IAH just squat to pee! No It is a bit odd until you figure out the secret. Everything that starts with a W(whiskey) is on the West side. Everything that is a N is on the north. S is south and so on. So if they say WB to NA you know your going up the west side to the north side.

I agree though DTW sucks. Only place I've ever taxied @V1 for fifteen minutes!!!!!

 

[tarp]

ORD

"Go directly to the box."
"Nope those departure gates are closed, cross Runway 9L to the Scenic Overlook."
"Yeah that's right, I want you to take Lake Shore Drive to 22L."
"No,no,no look just head over to the Mike Pad."
"United Express aircraft off of 9L, whoever you are, Hotel, Papa, Alpha Bridge, Ground."

Now looking at my chart for ORD -

I do have a "Penalty Box" and I do have a "Scenic Hold Pad".

But the "Mike Pad" is actually labelled the "9R pad" and Lake Shore Drive is actually a route that follows taxiways "F", "T" and "S". Alpha and Bravo "Bridges" are literally taxiway bridges over the highway but in Chicago parlance means taxi eastward around the terminal!

If you are new in Chicago - you are dead meat! The controllers think everyone knows their "lingo". Oh and don't speak until you are spoken to - my ears are still ringing from the squeals and I haven't been to ORD in a week!

 

[NightFlyer]

I'll agree with mobs on Paris (CDG). That place is screwed up.

 

[Typhoon1244]

...and you guys bashing IAH just squat to pee!

Of course you're right. It's the most well-layed-out airport on the planet. Not complicated at all.

Toronto cracked me up. It was my very first international destination, and it was at night. I was taking it real easy, taxiing slow, keeping one eye on the airport diagram. They wanted me to take the parallel down to (I don't remember the taxiway names, so I'll make something up) Tango and turn right. I got to what I thought was Tango and was just starting to move the tiller a little bit...and I swear those guys in the tower must've been watching us with binoculars, because as soon as my tiller hand twitched, they called us:

"Uh no, Candler, not there. It's the next one up on your right."

Good thing they were keeping an eye on us dumb Yanks!

 

[mckpickle]

I like DFW. Sure its big and all but the taxiways all go in order except Y. From what I heard Y is the furthest North to keep the Yankees as far north as possible!

 

[wanabe_fo]

YYZ

And what is up with Toronto making you talk to 4-6 different freq. for taxi in and out to GA parking.

"Taxi Tango, hold short Alpha for the heavy airbus, follow the bus hold short Runway XX, contact ground controller 123.45"

Thank God I was in a GA airplane that could actually tune to more than one freq at a time.

 

[T-Gates]

I'm used to it now, but at first DTW blew me away. From our ramp to 21R we will change frequencies 3 times during the heavy pushes. On top of everything, I think they distribute speed to all of the controllers...

Taxi 200 yds hold short, change frequencies, Taxi 200 yds hold short, change frequencies, Taxi 200 yds hold short, change frequencies, Taxi 200 yds hold short, change frequencies.....

"Ummmm. Flagship follow the really really really dirty -9 to 21R....."

"Okay, there are 13 dirty -9's in that line on 9L....."

It never ends.....

--03M

 

[ifly4food]

My vote goes for Toronto.
The place is like JFK witn nonstandard controllers. Taxi too fast, get yelled at. There's also a speed limit on the high speed exits. You must remain on the center line of the taxiway. Too bad the turtles were,'t offest... you hear and feel every one of them.
Ever been there in a thunderstorm? The ramps automatically shut down and everyone gets to park on the runways for an hour.
Oh, and when they tell you "overshoot" that means go around.

As for O'Hare, once you get used to it, it's no big deal. They expect you to know where you're going and just offer "guidance". It's when a FNG shows up that the place goes haywire. You'll think your brain is going to melt the first time they tell you to "taxialphabravomiketwomiketangotangotenthreetwoleft" and then move on without a readback.
I once had a tower guy tell me "look, when you pull off the runway, don't stop. We know that you know where you're going. Just take Bravo to the ramp and we'll call you when and if we get time.

 

[dav8or]

I'm not too fond of BOS. Lots of runways in a small space. You talk to ground then tower then tower (2) You got Cape Air guys taxing in formation at V1 and best thing is the fog off the ocean.