Wierd Capt / FO / FE

[WhiteCloud]

How about, "Draw a line down the middle of the cockpit. Everything on my side is mine, and everything on your side is mine, too. Don't touch anything unless you ask first."






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I got a version of that one....."This side is mine and this side is ours". I watch over Captains like that like a hawk. Usually lots of little mistakes to pick on.

 

[Ty Webb]

Anytime I have been briefed from a Captain that he/she does "everything by the book" it usually is code for, "I am going do my dangdest to make your life a living hell for the next 3-4 days by doing nothing standard."

Actually, they all fly "by the book", due to the location of their flight case, so, technically, they are correct. Unfortunately, that's as close to it as many get.

 

[Metro752]

Yeah, I've flown with that guy. I told him if he ever takes my picture at 0400 again without my knowledge, he won't have his stupid little camera anymore. That was also after he spewed to me how great Michael Moore's movie Farenheit 9/11 was.

Actually, I'm hoping to fly with him soon. I broke my digital camera the other day.

that would be an occasion in which ripping ass so bad that the whole cockpit stank like there was nothing better in the world than a new jersey Landfill

 

[Dangerkitty]

Actually, they all fly "by the book", due to the location of their flight case, so, technically, they are correct. Unfortunately, that's as close to it as many get.

Ha! Good one. Maybe thats what all those ass clowns meant.

 

[GuppyPuppy]

We have a few.

Thank God one of them is retiring on Friday! He's calling for taxi (F.O.'s job) before the after start checklist is even started. Then, he'll start taxiing (also before the checklist is started). He continuously violates the 250kt rule below 10,000' when leaving SJU. He will turn immediately towards JFK after takeoff (at 50'agl) and not wait 'til 400 feet. He will fly the aircraft at .80mach when he should be cruising at .78 which uses more fuel. On top of all this he is an arrogant jerk and a scab. Oh...and he likes to use the announcement, "Holy bananas! We're 20 minutes early. Is this anyway to run an airline? You bet it is".

Again, thank God he's retiring on Friday. I'll never have to fly with him again. Another one of the horrible hundred gone forever!

GP

 

[ATRedneck]

I got a version of that one....."This side is mine and this side is ours". I watch over guys like that like a hawk. Usually lots of little mistakes to pick on.

Close your eyes. Everything you see is yours. Now open them. Everything you see is mine. Don't f-ing touch my stuff!

 

[WhiteCloud]

Close your eyes. Everything you see is yours. Now open them. Everything you see is mine. Don't f-ing touch my stuff!

Amazing! Sure makes for a long day.

 

[runwayjockey]

Flew with a guy that always complained about how hot the 1900 cockpit got during the summer. His solution was to roll his pants all the way up so they were like shorts. Then he would take his shoes off and roll his socks all the way down. Every leg was flown like this.

 

[mar]

Unraveled

I just flew with a guy who apparently thinks I'm unraveled.

When we met in the hotel lobby for the first time he spotted some loose thread on my belt and quickly snapped it off (the thread). Told me I needed a new belt.

Later in the flight we were talking and I noticed his eyes kept looking down at my sleeve. When I paused he picked some lint (or maybe another thread) from my shirt.

Later, he wanted to know why my left shirt pocket was unbuttoned.

I DON'T KNOW!!! 'Cause that's where I keep my loose threads????

 

[klhoard]

I just flew with a guy who apparently thinks I'm unraveled.

When we met in the hotel lobby for the first time he spotted some loose thread on my belt and quickly snapped it off (the thread). Told me I needed a new belt.

Later in the flight we were talking and I noticed his eyes kept looking down at my sleeve. When I paused he picked some lint (or maybe another thread) from my shirt.

Later, he wanted to know why my left shirt pocket was unbuttoned.

I DON'T KNOW!!! 'Cause that's where I keep my loose threads????

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O.C.D. . . . .
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[TonyC]

Later in the flight we were talking and I noticed his eyes kept looking down at my sleeve. When I paused he picked some lint (or maybe another thread) from my shirt.

Later, he wanted to know why my left shirt pocket was unbuttoned.

The strange part is you were wearing a uniform during cruise. Didn't you know your uniform is supposed to be on a hangar while you're wearing scrubs or some other comfortable cruise attire!?!?!

Some kinda frieght dog YOU are!








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[han_solo]

I had a captain who would force me to laugh at his so called "jokes". When I didn't( or couldn't), he told me I have no humor... and said I'm fired....

 

[lurker]

\"Holy bananas! We're 20 minutes early. Is this anyway to run an airline? You bet it is".

GP

if I'm not mistaken, I think our FOM permits a beatch slap if a crewmember says that

 

[mar]

Oh yeah.

And then there was the guy (with a countdown to retirement) who was pretty coy about what he was planning to do after retirement...but I finally got it out of him. He wants to go down to Colombia and "spray" the Coca fields down there.

So anyway, during cruise he gets up to change into his "Cruise Clothes" and he comes back up wearing some sweat suit complete with a stripe down the side and puts his slippered feet up on the foot rest.

He had his initials embroidered into his slippers. Didn't say a word for the rest of the flight.

Weird.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

I just flew with a captain that took my picture with his digital camera without any notice. He said he takes a photo of all his f/o's. I guess he keeps some sort of data base on us at home??? Any other MD-11 guys know him?

This is disturbing, especially if he asks the hotel clerk to send more "hand lotion" and an extra box of "kleenex" to his room.