Who was that ORD SkyWest pilot who told me the story of sitting in the js on GOJET...

[be-400xpdriver]

..........

 

[regionaltard]

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

 

[NoJoy]

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris did not kill you in your sleep-

 

[CX880]

When Chuck Norris executes a push up, he does not push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

 

[B52GUNNER]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom, because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris

 

[B52GUNNER]

A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there

 

[badlander45]

Chuck Norris took a vacation to The Virgin Islands, now they're just called The Islands.

 

[joeywoofwoof]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger and yelling "bang"!

 

[NoJoy]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.

 

[flyboyzii]

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down