Who was that ORD SkyWest pilot who told me the story of sitting in the js on GOJET...

[be-400xpdriver]

..........

 

[regionaltard]

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

 

[NoJoy]

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris did not kill you in your sleep-

 

[CX880]

When Chuck Norris executes a push up, he does not push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

 

[B52GUNNER]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom, because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris

 

[B52GUNNER]

A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there

 

[badlander45]

Chuck Norris took a vacation to The Virgin Islands, now they're just called The Islands.

 

[joeywoofwoof]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger and yelling "bang"!

 

[NoJoy]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.

 

[flyboyzii]

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down

 

[flyboyzii]

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

 

[NoJoy]

Pinatas were originally invented as a way to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking people in Mexico-Sadly this backfired as now Chuck Norris looks for candy after he kicks his victims.

 

[WAZUP]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

[Singlecoil]

Neither had the Colgan F/O, and we all know how that worked out...
PBR

Miles O'brien? Is that you?

You guys need to read the CVR transcript instead of relying on the media summary.
On her first day of ground school she hadn't seen ice before. That is what she was saying.

 

[Dubya]

Chuck Norris is the reason noone can find Waldo.

 

[be-400xpdriver]

Chuck Norris once had a Liberache moment, and liked it.

 

[Z_Pilot]

Barrens chat in FI, oh my!

 

[CX880]

Chuck Norris vs. Attack Helicopter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrOwcZPwDO8&feature=related

 

[flyboyzii]

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska

 

[be-400xpdriver]

Chuck Norris once told Liberache "I'm going to hit it so hard you are going to wish you were straight."