What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[Salukipilot4590]

I was flying a Jball into Marion, Ill and this SIU puke was sitting in row 1 looking at our GPS and saw a groundspeed in the 300's. After the flight he said, "I noticed that your speed was well above the 250 limit below 10,000 the whole flight!" He continued, "I would report you, but I might need a job here in a couple of years so I will let it slide this time boys."

:Hanging my head in shame:

I sure hope it wasnt one of my students....

:erm:

 

[JSky26]

:Hanging my head in shame:

I sure hope it wasnt one of my students....

:erm:

It probably was you....

 

[Blade Runner]

Had a passenger ask how we compensated for Coriolis effect!

Simply tell them that both of you lean to the left at the same time, it's called CRM or Coriolis Reversal Manuever.

 

[Goose Egg]

"What route do you fly?"

From Terminal A, B, C, to parking lot J.

-Goose

 

[Farmer]

1. We were deadheading on a flight with two female pilots flying. A lady asked my captain what we were doing. He explained that for safety reasons it is airline policy to send an extra crew whenever two females fly together. She never questioned the answer.


2.
While commuting (out of uniform of course) on an E-120 the passenger next to me starts to describe to the other passengers what the deice boots are for. He stated “They have a tank of air that will inflate them about 20 times to break the ice off the wing” The passengers were impressed. The system was cycling and after about 20 times everyone (including him) started to get pretty nervous that the boots were running out of air. I laughed to myself and kept trying to sleep.

 

[Grey Ghost]

This one!

 

[greyskyracer]

When I was a flight instructor they switched are uniforms to airline pilot uniforms. A few of us went to ponderosa for lunch and a lady asked me which airforce do you fly for? My response was the canadian airforce where envading, but we stopped for lunch.

 

[SKYWRJGUY]

Oh my,

"our" and "were"...

...NCLB Act too late.

 

[jke406]

When I was a flight instructor they switched are uniforms to airline pilot uniforms. A few of us went to ponderosa for lunch and a lady asked me which airforce do you fly for? My response was the canadian airforce where envading, but we stopped for lunch.

No, seriously. Were you drunk for this post? The only correct answer is "yes."

 

[jacksjj]

While on Marta in Atlanta, in full uniform;

Random idiot: "Are you a pilot?"

Me: "No. I just play one on TV."

 

[Goose Egg]

"Are you disgruntled?"

-Goose

 

[BUDDHA145]

I had a fuking passenger stick his head in the cockpit the day afteer comair accident in lexintong, and this LOOSER SAID : "thx for taking off in the correct runway guys...hahaha" i just wanted to kille the ********************er...

 

[AV80R]

Sorry to all ASA guys/gals if I offend any of you, that’s not my intention…

This happened in Atlanta about 2 months ago, I was supposed to deadhead from Atlanta to L.A. on Delta, was wearing my uniform and I was traveling to “my” terminal on the terminal shuttle/train (or whatever it’s called).

This train was absolutely packed and I was sort of right in the middle of it. All of a sudden this really young looking guy (looked like 17 at the most) wearing ASA pilot uniform forcefully squeezes himself in and when he sees me he immediately starts a conversation from one end of the train to the other (in other words he’s pretty loud).
“Duuude, you work for UPS?!?!”
“How did you pull that off?”
“Man, you’re set for life, dude!!”

I said, “Well, thanks; you know it took some time; So you wanna work for UPS too? Have you applied yet?
His response, “Duude, I just got hired at ASA, only 450 hours man!!”

I know he was proud of his “accomplishment” but it was a little embarrassing as all the passengers around us were listening to our “conversation.” Overall, I know he was just happy to be an airline pilot and was totally harmless, I just thought it was kind of funny/embarrassing with all the “duuude” stuff right there in front of the passengers.

My captain was standing there with me (he was not wearing a uniform) and I think he laughed all the way to L.A…. He even called his wife a few moments later and asked: “duuude, so how’s your day?!”

 

[FirstMate]

I had a fuking passenger stick his head in the cockpit the day afteer comair accident in lexintong, and this LOOSER SAID : "thx for taking off in the correct runway guys...hahaha" i just wanted to kille the ********************er...

And one week later we in turn had an amendment to our before takeoff checklist that calls for a "runway alignment confirmed/comair checks response"

 

[siucavflight]

how about everytime i deadhead, and some a hole passenger thinks that it is funny to tell the FA when she is serving drinks, "hey get this guy a beer on me"

 

[siucavflight]

When I was a flight instructor they switched are uniforms to airline pilot uniforms. A few of us went to ponderosa for lunch and a lady asked me which airforce do you fly for? My response was the canadian airforce where envading, but we stopped for lunch.

I hope you are not serious, if you are you just made the dorky pilot thread.

 

[huncowboy]

This is from my dad:

- But do you actually fly it? You don't do you? The CA is flying it. Right?
- How many people can you carry?
- Why are you doing this when you made more money 7 years ago?

Yes I do fly it. It carries 50. I dunno anymore...

rinse and repeat he will aks it again after 2 months...

 

[say again]

Funny stuff here!! I had a pax ask "what would happen if we lost a wing?" I couldn't even answer I was so amazed by the stupidity

 

[DX Rick]

Does the company make you sleep in a sleeping bag?!?!

Him : Banging all the flight attendants must be great!!!!
Me : Yeah, I especially like all the ones that need a walker to get thier old bones up and down the isles.

Kind of gets annoying when you have to declare an emergency because your FA's keep having heart attacks

 

[BUDDHA145]

Does the company make you sleep in a sleeping bag?!?!


Me : Yeah, I especially like all the ones that need a walker to get thier old bones up and down the isles.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!