TSA; "We Need Some Stinkin' Badges!"

[Papa Woody]

Plan ahead next time you go through security and put a quarter in your ass crack. Leave a little something metal in your pocket so you beep when you go through the metal detector then they have to wand you. Watch the confused look on their faces when they wand your ass and it beeps. When you are tired of having fun just release your cheeks and let the quarter drop out the leg of your pants. Maybe in the process of releasing the quarter you can fart in their face while they are trying to figure out why your ass is beeping.

What's the ultimate TSA procedure for "Uniformed Flight Crew whose ass keeps on beeping"?

Maybe I can get a day off!

 

[rchcfi]

This is truly scary!!!!

At my old gig prior to 9/11, I was in charge of testing the screeners. The FAA had so many stipulations on how to test them, it scared me into thinking that federal screening would be better. Unfortunately the government hired the same people that used to fail the tests. (crack addicts, thieves, etc.) And now they're giving them badges!! F-that!

Case in point.......I was only given 6 items in which to test them, they knew only I could test them, and that I had to be in uniform! And if I chose one of the explosive items, I had to be in uniform and could put nothing else in the bag to conceal it....WTF!!! YET THEY STILL FAILED!!!!!!!

To quote N.W.A. (the gangsta rap folks)..............."TSA is a joke in yo' town!"

 

[WAZUP]

Tin badges and cop shirts for TSA screeners = chrome-plating a turd.

Except I have more respect for my turd

 

[nwa_contrails]

So there I was in Richmond, VA: Showing some female tsa agent my badge and she refuses to touch it and tells me to take it out. The thing was it was "out" or to be more specific not in any sort of plastic container. My badge is hanging from my lanyard on a spring loaded rope. So I pull the rope to its full length and hold the end of the rope at the lanyard so it doesn't retract and try to hand it to her. She refuses to take it even though with the 4 feet of slack she could do anything with it including sticking up her rear end.

I finally take the entire thing off unsnap it and give her only the ID card.

Anyone else have problems with Richmond.

YES! Try being based there. They are horrible about that particular issue there. It has to come out and off of any lanyard or holder or plastic case so they can touch it and that makes you ok to pass to screening--Drives me up the freaking wall. The story I hear 'round the crew room is that one day in RIC one of the TSA screeners reached out and grabbed someones badge on one of those little retractable strings. The screener let it go after she was done with it and snapped back and hit the pilot in the eye. I didn't even know they were allowed to grab like that...go figure...so anyways, now we have to take it all apart.

But yea...Richmond TSA is terrible.

 

[Cobra17]

They're gonna need some hats too.

Nothing commands respect like a properly worn hat.

 

[thesource]

I just need to point out that if you read closely, you will see that the screeners will be taking a two, thats right, a two day course on how to wear a badge!

They have to be kidding.

 

[Cobra17]

working for da gubment....gotta love it!

I feel so much safer already.

 

[Flyer1015]

Everyone of you has at least a high school equivalency degree, and not one of you has ever been convicted of a felony... You are the cream of the crop, you are elite, you are America's airport security, you are the TSA.

 

[Princedietrich]

I just need to point out that if you read closely, you will see that the screeners will be taking a two, thats right, a two day course on how to wear a badge!

They have to be kidding.

Sheesh, even the FAA inspectors who have to carry shields don't get subjected to that level of numbskullery.

I truly fear the day when someone comes up with the bright idea to start arming these TSA pukes. There are many of them out there with criminal records, including violent felonies, and someone is going to decide its necessary to start issuing gunbelts to them. Even if it's just a taser or slapjack, it's going to get real ugly real quick.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

To quote N.W.A. (the gangsta rap folks)..............."TSA is a joke in yo' town!"

Public Enemy (911 Is a Joke)