PR Newswires - July 19th, 2002
AMERICAN AIRLINES ANNOUNCES THAT CORPORATE AIRLINES WILL REPLACE MAINLINE FLYING USING JETSTREAM 32 AIRCRAFT.
Today, Don Carty of American Airlines has announced that Corporate Airlines will replace American Airlines mainline flying with Jetstream 32 Aircraft.
"We at American Airlines look forward to offering our customers the quality and comfort that can be found in the Jetstream." Said Carty. "We look forward to offering absolutely no inflight service to our customers. With the lack of a onboard lavatory, we will be able to save significant amounts of money by not having to change out the blue water."
When asked how the customers will go to the bathroom on the new Dallas to Tokyo flight, Don Carty explained, "they can go in the air sick bags, and if we run out of those they will just have to hold it."
"But it really wont be much of an issue," Carty explained, "Since the Jetstream 32 can only fly about 250 nm fully loaded, we will give our customers ample opportunity to take a whiz at each of our 20 fuel stops along the way."
When asked about the shrieking noise and vibrations produced by the extremely loud Garrett Engines, Carty explained that all passengers would be signing a waiver of liability for the effects of long term hearing loss. "We are looking into providing our customers with ear plugs with the AA logo on them, but since AA is in a 'cost cutting' mode, we may not be able to bring this enhanced service to our Elite AAdvantage Members for some time," Explained Carty.
Corporate Airlines will begin replacing services offered by the Boeing 777 aircraft as early as August 1, 2002. And a complete replacement of all mainline flying with Jetstream 32 aircraft will be completed by November 2003.