Sky Bar

[Archer]

Oh well, it seems the therad is evolving on it's own...

let's see what happens.

I now have 32 hours after my first dual x/c yesterday, and it's actually 31.9, but I rounded up...

good?

Archer

 

[PilotoHalcon]

...daily lives...

Ok, this may be a little different since I am in a sand box...

Man, it's dark here at 0600, I remember when it was 100f and sun was way up. Finally cooling down to the high 90's.
Did you make the coffee? Good man. I just faxed the flight plan to Kuwait, The fax to Saudi did not go through again, I will try the commercial number. Do you want to take the Camry or Prado? The Prado has the CD player and we can listen to my new CD by the Dixie Chicks. Darn it, I thought you had the weapon, now we have to go by the Arms Room to get a 16. OK, Headquarters to get a "mother may I" pass to the airport. Another cup for the road. I thought New York had aggressive drivers. What do you mean we have 148? The A/C works better in 544, how much gas do we have, have our pax showed up yet? I'll preflight if you do the book. How many foot lockers? Those EOD guys have more crxp..OK, take out the last seat by the door, we can tie it down there. Brief them will you? No, 0800 is the TakeOff time, not the show time. Ok ya'll, we have cold water in the cooler, grab one on your way up. One at a time on the steps. Yes mam, I have been doing this for awhile. No Sir, there is no movie on this flight. Have a seat. OK, have you called for engine crank yet? OK. We are all set. I have done up to here on the check list, as soon as the tug is released I will be ready when you are. OK Battery on, First Engine Start, Battery Start Check List please. **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** it's hot in here already, thats why I bring a towel, you should have been here in July. 825 on number 2, must have been a low battery. Get that A/C on before we baste in here will you? AC off crank #1. Call ready to taxi. Kuwait Tower Pat 28 ready to Taxi. (yes we use tower for taxi) Want to go to Frostys for dinner? Before Take Off Check list. I'll be ready at the end if you are. Lots of 320's here. OK Seleg, FL240. Set power. The AC in this one sucks. Write it up OK? What do you think the diving would be like off of that Island there? I heard it is really shallow. At least we have a tail wind. I figure we can eat lunch in Saudi then you fly back. We should just have four comming back, 1 civilian and 3 Majors. This is the longest leg we have and it keeps getting longer. Was that for us? Yes, Bahrain next. Whats Oregon Like? I have never been there. Must be nice. What do you do in the world? I am a part time Guard guy also who got furloughed now doing this full time. No idea, maybe another year before I get recalled. IF I get recalled. I may say hell with it and hop a boat till I get a phone call. Beats flipping burgers or selling used cars though. What do you say we start our descent at 75? We will probably land staight in. ATIS out? Why am I not surprised. Look at all of that sand. It's a wonder the roads stay afloat on it. passing 15k altimeter to 1013, set, crosscheck. Descent arrival checklist please. Have you been watching CNN? Looks worse then it really is over here so far, hope it stays that way another six weeks. Did you see those Marines this morning running with the mask on? At least it made them quieter. HAHA.
If I can hold ref I should be able to make the second turn off. A long 2 mile taxi here...look at all those Classified OK, shutdown check list. Lunch time.

As you figured out, this flying is really no different then the Gulf of Mexico pilot, the West Tx Commuter guy or the Delta 777 driver. WE all have our same gripes and complaints. Hope it was somewhat entertaining.
j

 

[TurboS7]

Everyone needs to go to the big sandbox at least once. Isn't faxing the FP a pain in the neck-especially when Kuwait doesn't get it. I have sent some nice emails to my wife from ops. Nice post I was with you all the way.

 

[Fitzy]

Archer, you did good son. This has been the funniest thread in a while, makes my shi--y reserve day go by faster.

Whiskey and women , cards and dice , blue balls, crabs the clap and lice --by god I've had them all ----twice

 

[Mr. Irrelevant]

Agreed with Fitzy. This is a great one. I avoided it after reading it when there were only 5 posts. But every day I looked at the number of posts and it kept going and going.

Archer, Bobbysam is right on, this industry, as far as the people you encounter really is not much different than any other. Only difference might be the overwhelming number of male pilots compared to female pilots. In general, that makes for much better jokes!!!

Chperplt, laughed pretty hard at that last one. Couldn't come up with that comment on my own, but it pretty much summed it up.

Really enjoyed Enigma's post as well.


Mr. I.

 

[Cardinal]

Turbo, et al; In your experience what is a good ballpark figure for the ratio of SLAM/CLICKERs to, well, "others"?

 

[TurboS7]

30 to 40%,the older they get the more they slam click, the younger FA's are great. But then maybe it is just me. What kind of luck do you other guys have?

 

[enigma]

Cardinal, If I had to profile a slam clicker, I'd say that one would be: thirty-something, decent looking, single, and white. That's as close as I could get to a description. The younger generation tends to be more outgoing, as do the fourty and older ones. I think that the older FA's, especially the career changers, are the best company. They are not particularly worried about having to keep apart. The slam clickers give the impression that they are afraid of being hit on. I guess they avoid the problem by staying to themselves.

regards.
8N

 

[TurboS7]

Archer,
You are doing well, we are up to 4 pages not bad. I think this thread has wandered around what would be a very typical crew "bar" conversation. Who is going to pay for the third round?

 

[Archer]

See I don't know what a typical conversation would be because I'm not a professional pilot and I havn't been around any lately...or ever for that reason.

That's why I started this place, to see what kinds of things pilots talked about in between their flying...

Obvioulsy I'm sure they talk about aviation, and that is wonderful because it's just normal. You talk af things you do as well as those you don't in life.

So I'm guessing they would talk about this one ATC approach controller that sounded very pissed off...

or perhaps this cute flight attendant that smiled at them and is being forward

Or maybe the meal they had on their flight was not all that bad, or horrible and they can cook better even if they don't know how to cook...

I don't know...


I can ramble about about this one Warrior II that has been giving me problems for the last 2 times I tried to solo in it. The engine would not start on one occasion. The DG spun madly on another.

I can talk about how much stuff there is to know even as a Private pilot, and that I'm supposed to be near the end of my training flying wise...but knowledge wise, I'm light years behind I think...I know my stuff, but there is always new things that come up that I shold know and dont...so I wonder if I'll ever know it all for my written, oral and practical...

Archer

 

[Fitzy]

If you do ever figure it all out let me know, cause I sure the hell don't. Almost 8000 hrs and still scratching my head, my advice is read NTSB.COM and do opposite of those unfortunate basta--s.I wish I had this computer and web site when I first started out it would have helped out tons and entertained me for hours -just like this thread. stick with engineering, fly for fun and respect women---sorry that's the booze talking

 

[TurboS7]

Archer,
Sounds to me like you are getting the picture real fast. I havn't flown since the 15th of October and then it was a line check from Keflivik, Iceland to Lviv, Ukraine and back to Keflivik. Since then I have been home. Usually I fly at least 3 times a week but things have really been slow in the charter business. Right now I am on reserve waiting for the phone to ring. For the first couple of weeks it was fun to chase the wife around the house but now it is kinda getting old. I was suppose to fly a flight from Baltimore to Keflivik this weekend which I was looking forward to. My grandfather who is 92 lives in Baltimore and my Mom and Dad were visiting him for his birthday. It would have been fun to have combined the layover with a visit . But at the last moment the checkairman took over my flight and now they are paying me to sit at home. I have a PC(proficiency check) on the 27th of the month. That means I have to have all my emergency recall items memorized to the T. Kinda a pain since management has just changed everything so they have to be rememorize. All the limitations are memorized they are easy. Next I have to bone myself up for an oral on the complete systems and FMC on the 737-800. They can ask anything and everything-and they will-our checkairman can be a real pain, I would rather have the FAA.
Then I have to study all the profiles for every concievable emergecy in the aircraft. I have no idea which ones they will give me so I have to know them all.So I have a lot to do but I still miss the flying. Unless they call me for a trip I will not have flown for six weeks prior to the check, I hate that. But right after the check I am suppose to go to Hawaii for a week over Thanksgiving. That should be a nice flight. So you have flown more than I and more that likely you'll get more hours this month than I. Enjoy.

 

[Archer]

I am sorry to hear that Turbo. Your life as a professional pilot is probably not too different than a lot of other pilots out there unfortunately.

It seems an indication on how the aviation industry is going, and the demand and supply of pilots...

It's sad, because as I said earlier, I really respect and admire pilots. I don't think it's an easy job, and even though you may argue no job is easy...

The lives of tens of thousands of people depend on pilots (as well as ATC, A&Ps and what not) every day.

But like that Northwest 747 flight emergency, no one knows when pilots save lives.

Well, I'm getting carried away here, basically...I wish pilots would be more in demand and be paid more, as pay is one of the ways to show the value and respect you give an employee...

well, I hope you do get to fly more than me this month...

fly safe,

Archer

 

[ACWild]

Hey Turbo,
Who do you fly for? What you do sounds a whole lot like where I work.
Does anyone learn EVERYTHING that an FMC does? Everyone that I fly with seems to have their own little "secrets".

 

[bobbysamd]

Salary

I wish pilots would be more in demand and be paid more, as pay is one of the ways to show the value and respect you give an employee...

(emphasis added)

You got it. Absolutely. You exhibit excellent perception.

That can be said for any industry. My wife worked her a$$ off as a law librarian and was severely underpaid. Her theory was that her law office administrators had no clue as to the extent of her job. She figured they thought she just sat around checking out books.

The Amarillo, Texas, oilman, T. Boone Pickens, once said the only way an employer can truly express his appreciation for his workers is to pay them more money.

I, too, wish pilots were more in demand. But, it isn't a matter of whether they're in demand, it's more a matter of pilots being in oversupply. Maybe with the exception of a brief period in the 1960s, there has never been a pilot shortage. Just the same, one can have a flying career. It requires great amounts of desire, motivation, hard work, patience and, most of all, luck and timing.

 

[KC-10 Driver]

Archer, do you see what has happened here?

You came into the "hangar" and said something that all the other pilots gave you sh!t for.

Then you stuck around and followed the "hangar talk" as it went where ever it went. Now, you are involved in this rambling discussion.

You can't force anyone (especially pilots, I think) to engage in some touch-feely, feel-good rap session. Most of us don't operate that way.

We are hard on each other -- out of the cockpit, and especially in the cockpit. But, if you have a thick skin and don't take things personally, you will do well. No one thinks less of you for the way you started this thread -- but of course, you will forever continue to get grief for it.

Now, you are learning about professional pilots.

By the way, there is some hilarious stuff in this thread.

 

[PilotoHalcon]

Hey Turbo. No kidding, those FP's are a pain. When were you over here and what ops did you use?
j

 

[KC-10 Driver]

TurboS7 asked what percentage of the FA's are slam/clickers, in our experience.

At my last company (US Airways), I have to say that it was probably at about 70%. Of course, maybe it was just me...

I have yet to fly a line trip with JetBlue (I'm still in training). But, from meeting the new-hire flight attendants in training, I think I can safely say that the percentage will be quite a bit better at this company -- at least I hope so!

 

[Typhoon1244]

...if you have a thick skin and don't take things personally, you will do well.

Well said. Archer, I'll give you a couple of quick examples.

I have one of those first names that can be shortened a couple of different ways. One of these ways I prefer. The other I can't stand. I made the mistake of telling one captain "you can call me _____, but I prefer not to be called _____." You can guess what happened; ever since that day, he's made it a point to introduce me to everyone we meet by that name I can't stand! And he's not trying to ruin me...he's just giving me sh_t. It's what so many of us do, for some reason.

I remember this other captain...I was having a heck of a time landing Brasilias one day. I guess everybody has their day "in the box," right? I got down to 17C in DFW and I must have bounced eleven times. So there I am, wrestling to get the thing settled down, and the clown in the left seat is chanting, "you're awesome! You are the man! I'm going to recommend you for upgrade as soon as we get inside!" Now it would be easy to let something like that ruin your whole week, but by the time we got to the gate, we were both laughing about it.

Keep a tough hide, roll with the punches, and you'll be accepted before you know it. Ever read The Caine Mutiny? Read it. (Forget about the movie.) Everything you need to know about making the journey from callow first officer to salty captain is right there.

 

[avbug]

Interesting thread. Never heard of the predatory female...is it worth a read?

What is a misogynist?

Flyhi, what kind of gun, and do you have a sister?

 

[typhoonpilot]

Avbug:

Your answer

BANNER BOOKS
PRESENTS

This best selling underground book remains the one indispensable guide and must-read for any guy who has voluntarily placed himself into the dating-relationship-marriage-divorce scene of our progressive, enlightened and highly litigious society. Hated by the matriarchal conspiracy and suppressed for years by the politically correct publishing industry, your copy is still available. If even the remotest, most fleeting thought has crossed your mind to enter into the punitive and legally imprisoning bonds of holy matrimony, you should order this book immediately. What may be the horrifying results of not reading this classic are brought to you in THE MOTHER - A Suburban Horror Story, available separately from Banner Books.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TESTIMONIES:
"Here's some further reading: The Predatory Female...by a Reverend Shannon."
----PENTHOUSE Magazine, October 1997 issue


Rev. Shannon, you are a first class bastard! My girl friend was to be married in two weeks to a Navy pilot until someone in his reserve squadron gave him your terrible book. Now the wedding is canceled because of you! And those pilots think it's funny, congratulating him for backing out! At least she has taken my advice and filed a breach of promise suit. It will cost him plenty! He is going to pay and pay and pay!
----Katrina L. Dubois, Northbrook, IL


Dear Rev. Shannon, hello there! I just wanted you to know I think your book is great. I have gotten many good laughs with cockpit crews over your book. I work for Southwest Airlines...I am ordering one book for the guy I'm dating and one for myself. This book is hysterical; I absolutely loved it! Thanks again, take care! Love always,
----Sondra Barcalow, Phoenix, AZ





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note from Rev. Shannon:

A dog can be a devoted and loyal friend waiting anxiously for you to return home, never too busy to give you its full attention and always ready to play. It wishes for nothing other than your affections and good will. But then one day it encounters a group of other dogs in the park. Your devoted friend charges off, totally forgetting that you even exist on earth. You feel deserted and abandoned. Suddenly your dedicated companion is urinating everywhere, defecating, and sniffing other dogs' butts while running madly about, raising hell and behaving like...yes...a dog. You had forgotten it was, after all, a dog! You were lulled into a comfortable relationship with something which you allowed yourself to perceive as other than what it really is! A lot of guys make the same mistake with women. This oversight grows to disastrous proportons when applied to the marriage program currently being sold in our country. Don't fall victim as so many before you have done. Save yourself the betrayals, the gut-wrenching recovery procedure, the bankruptcy and attorney's fees. As quickly as possible, purchase and read The Predatory Female and The Mother (below) before it is too late.


BANNER BOOKS
PRESENTS

Here is what happens to an innocent man who DID NOT read THE PREDATORY FEMALE by Reverend Lawrence Shannon. The horrors of a middle class, suburban marriage are brought to life in this comic episode where doctors, housewives, ministers, lawyers and judges all serve the matriarchy in conspiring to control, and render penniless, a harmless, salaried husband. THE MOTHER was written by Richard R. Rullman and Stephen S. Rullman.

Dear Frank: The cats and I have moved out. This should make you happy since Midnight won't pee-pee on your bed anymore. Please water and sponge the philodendrons. The bills are on your dresser and the phone bill is due tomorrow. Your garbage disposal is jammed again; don't blame me this time. If you want to talk seriously about us and our future, we will be at Mother's.
Love, Rhonda


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Absolutely hilarious! ____________________ Capt. F.L. Austin
Complete trash! __________________________Conservative Baptist Weekly
An outrage to decency!____________________National Book Reviewers & Retailers Association
Do NOT let your future husband read this! _____ Brides Quarterly
We refuse to distribute this scary book! _______ Wholesale Book Distributors Int'l
I loved it! ______________________________ Fenton Mole



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Order Any Book:
Send check or money order for $8.95 per copy plus $4.95 shipping and handling to
Banner Books, PO Box 70302,
Reno, Nevada 89570.
*****

Please note, I'm not endorsing this, just answering the question.

Typhoonpilot

 

[Archer]

So there I am, wrestling to get the thing settled down, and the clown in the left seat is chanting, "you're awesome! You are the man! I'm going to recommend you for upgrade as soon as we get inside!"

Typhoon,

That made me laugh too! I always wondered what the relationship between Captain/FO was, and whether they jokes, laughed about things, or were serious and just did their job over 9 hour Transatlantic flights...

And he's not trying to ruin me...he's just giving me sh_t. It's what so many of us do, for some reason.

Well, I yet have to meet a pilot that is trying to ruin other pilots or people in general. I only saw this type of generalization in this thread.

So far, my CFI is an awesome guy. His CFI friend that I see every so often is cool too, always wishing us a good flight and fun. My friend in my class that is a CFI too, is very cool.

The Captains and FOs I used to speak to when I visited their cockpit in airliner flights were cool, welcoming and even made me sit on their lap once while landing when I was little.

I'm sure there are pilots out there as you said, that are tough, a little mean, selfish, who would like to mess around and make fun of you.

But I don't think that those types of pilots would be flying airliners with the lives of 300 human beings and millions of dollars worth of equipment at their hands...that's a different breed...it must be...

Archer

 

[KC-10 Driver]

Archer said:

The Captains and FOs I used to speak to when I visited their cockpit in airliner flights were cool, welcoming and even made me sit on their lap once while landing when I was little.

Has anyone seen the movie "Airplane"...? You know what I'm thinking.


Archer also said:

I'm sure there are pilots out there as you said, that are tough, a little mean, selfish, who would like to mess around and make fun of you. But I don't think that those types of pilots would be flying airliners with the lives of 300 human beings and millions of dollars worth of equipment at their hands...that's a different breed...it must be...

Someone previously on this thread pointed out that pilots are people, just like anyone else. You cannot make an absolute statement about anyone, even airline pilots. I personally know one or two that I would do anything to avoid flying a trip with.

 

[CatYaaak]

Lotsa Chatty Cathy's now. But if this is such a great bar, where in the he11 is my Scotch?

 

[Cardinal]

http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/gladiators.wav
http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/s...//www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/naked.wav
http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/prison.wav

 

[avbug]

Jimmy, do you like gladiator movies?

 

[Typhoon1244]

I always wondered what the relationship between Captain/FO was, and whether they jokes, laughed about things, or were serious and just did their job...

Let me tell you about a common phenomenon that's been going on for decades...probably since the first multi-pilot aircraft took to the air.

As I'm sure you're aware, airline pilots take turns flying legs. While one guy flies, the other handles the radio, the preipheral systems, and--to some degree--the navigating. The guy who's not flying also generally handles the P.A. announcements. You wouldn't believe the lengths that some pilots will go to to try to make the guy who's making an announcement break up laughing.

One guy used to carry a baby's pacifier with him. He'd keep his face turned away until the captain was in mid speech, then turn and look at her Maggie Simpson-style. [Suck, suck...]

One captain that I flew with, an ex-Air Force type, has a tongue that has to be seven inches long. A real Gene Simmons. So there I am just trying to tell the folks what the weather in Dallas is going to be like, and this guy's flapping his tongue at me. I lasted about ten seconds before I had to stop.

I'll bet even the Aeroflot guys used to do stuff like this!

Even my father, the quintessential professional pilot, has been known to give people their ration of sh_t...including me! I remember him telling me during a fouled-up visual approach, "well, you're high...but, you're fast."

One of his first officers made a truly horrendous landing in PIE one night. My dad didn't say a word until they got to the gate and the F/O pulled out the aircraft log book. As the engines were spooling down, he pulled out his crew log and asked, "well, what time did your watch stop?"

Being professional doesn't mean sitting in the cockpit with a patented Al Gore broomstick up your wazoo the whole time. There's a time for being serious, and there's a time for...well, you know.

First rule of flying: if you're not enjoying yourself, you're doing it wrong!

Oh, one last thing. Speaking of Aeroflot...this is a true story, so help me. During the dark days at Eastern Air Lines right before the strike, my father and his DC-9 crew were riding in a hotel courtesy van in N.Y.C. with, of all things, an Aeroflot Il-86 crew. They were talking shop, and it quickly became obvious that the Aeroflot guys had it pretty rough compared to us...bad pay, lousy schedules, often non-existant maintenance, poor service, etc, etc, etc. Dad's F/O said, "wow, sounds pretty bad."

The Russian captain replied, "not as bad as working for Frank Lorenzo!"

 

[TurboS7]

When I was on the 727 I used to have a furry play mouse that I used to call "Freddy". I would set him up on the launch pad which was the AP connect and disconnect on the consol.sp We got pretty good at launching him around the flight deck. We would scare FA's with it big time. Well the word got around and the FA's would come in and get pretty brave as they would just watch my finger on the disconnect switch on the yoke so they would know when Fredy was about to launch. I told the SO we will take care of that, I told him when I winked to change Essential to another generator that automatically disconnected the AP. We got Freddy all set up and this one FA came in. I asked her if she had met Freddy and asked to to pet him. She leaned over and I winked at the SO to launch him. Freddy was friskey that day and shot right inbetween her boobs. She freaked and screamed to the top of her lungs and prettty near ripped her dress off getting him out. Sometime during that trip Freddy was stolen out of my flight case and I never saw him again.

 

[bigD]

What's the minimum age to be a flight attendant? I was on a United (I think) flight to NY about a year ago and saw an amazingly cute FA, but she didn't look to be much older than 16. Talk about jail bait!

 

[TurboS7]

I have been to Kuwait 8 to 10 times over the years doing AMC work. We go to the military side of(OKBK) Kuwait International, usually we are only on the ground 2 hours always at night for obvious reasons. I did do a day turn there in the summer once and the temp was 118F a cool day in summer.