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Saddest week of my life

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CaptBuzzard

I'm back!
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Posts
145
My wife and i are in the middle of a separation. We're not throwing in the towel yet, but she's getting her own place in a couple of weeks. I am heartbroken. A lot of the problems are mine and I am realizing that I need to change a lot of my ways in order to be happier. Until then, she doesn't want the person I am now. I am not going to give up. I love her more than life itself, I just haven't been able to show her for a while. I'm sure someone out there has gone through this as well. Any comforting thoughts would really help during this difficult time.

Captbuzzard
 
I hope you have friends who can support you and/or you can afford counciling if need be. Public message boards like this should not be your primary support framework.

Good luck,
AZPilot
 
Without any specific information, my general advice is that actions, as the saying goes, speak louder than words. If you can demonstrate a change in behavior over time, women will respond positively. If communication is a problem, sometimes a common friend who cares about both of you can be a help.

If you attend a church or temple, ask your pastor/priest/rabbi for help. This will be tougher than any checkride.
 
Bro...

Bro...

Maybe if you go out and get a real job, she will change her mind.

Get counseling.

Meanwhile, there is always beer.

Good luck.
 
Hey Turbine,

There you go again spouting off your sewer trap. Why don't you shut it. This guy is going through a tough time and you on here shooting off your trap. SHUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Build a support network of close friends and family members, people you can talk to any time of day or night. Seek counsiling.
Stay in touch with your support network as much as you can.

As time goes by, it will get better.

Good luck,
Jetprop
 
Although right now you may feel very much alone, the truth is you are not. The problem you are having occurs in the course of many marriages.

Marriage is always a two-way street. I notice you said that you love your wife more than life itself. Your wife must also love you more than life itself. If she does, the two of you will be able to resolve whatever difficulties you may have, no matter how big or how small they may be.

As another poster said, if you have a religious connection seek the advice and counsel of your priest/rabbi/pastor/iman. You should do this together, but if that is not possible right now don't be afraid to do it by yourself.

In case you don't have that opportunity, you parents or close friends that you trust might be able to help but generally, professional counseling is often better. Seek it out an use it.

Again, it is a joint problem and there should be a joint solution. You married together, you've lived together and you must solve problems together.

The very best wishes to you.

PS. While you are emotionally upset, you should avoid flying if possible. Whatever you do, remember that alocohol or drugs don't solve any problem, they only mask it for a short time.
 
CaptB,

I'm sorry to hear about the trying time that you're going through. I agree with azpilot that this board shouldn't be your primary support system though, it could be a part of it. You "AND" your wife might find the following book helpful:

"The Conflict Between Us is the Conflict Within Me"
by Dr. Charles D. & Patti Leviton
ISBN 0-9702876-0-7 Copyright 2000

This book has practical info in it that you can start applying to ALL the relationships in your life. No one book is a cure-all but, I think this one is worth looking into.
Try not to take responsibility for her part in the marriage; it usually takes two. Take it easy!
Best Wishes to both of you
 
No, this board isn't just a method of support. I guess it was just what came to my mind. I have talked with family and friends which is helping me through this now. I was hesitant to post a message, but like I said, it just came to mind since I was surfing on it already. I am trying to do things that take my mind off things. I have signed up for some counseling for me first, and then if there is a chance that we'll get back together, we both will be going for sure.
 

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