one more year is all I can take!!!!!

[pilotswife]

Hi all,

Well I have been hanging in there being the supportive wife and mother of 2 for over 5 years now, but this aviation obsession is driving me absolutely nuts!!!!

I am sure the story is the same for many of you-
My husband and I sold everything we owned, I supported the family and kids while he went to flight training for a year.

We just sold our current home again so that we could prepare some "padding" in the bank for when he gets hired with a commuter this year...

I am sick of trying .......

Tired of supporting this obsession...

Today my husband was flying at the a local FBO and he ran into one of his former students who was smoking outside the terminal building- my husband hadn't seen the guy since '01 and the dude is flying a Citation....he was #$%&ing pissed. [pardon my French]

My husband gave up CFI'ing full time and has been doing it part time for a few years now....

I guess I am just losing it and I kind of don't get it any more either-- he'll be 35 this year

(I kind of understand the aviation addiction, I am a flight attendant and love my job)

But when do you give up the dream of eventually flying one of the big boys and when are you just content to fly your single engine around with the kids in the backseat for a $100.00 burger???????

Any words of advice or encouragement ...please......

 

[KeroseneSnorter]

Well if its any comfort, a Citation ain't really a whopper of an airplane!!

On a serious note, I always live by the motto, do what you like doing! If you are happy in your profession then money isn't everything. Lord knows, after flight instructing, flying freight, a regional , a Major, a furlough, back to flight instructing and now Corporate.....it's obvious I'm not in this business just for the money!!!!

 

[TonyC]

It can be particularly disheartening when things seem so bleak, so hopeless, and you run across someone who seems to have fallen into such a good deal. I said SEEM, because you may never know the whole story. You'll probably NOT know the sacrifices he made to get there. Did he leave behind a wife or a girlfriend? Did he sacrifice a friendship? Did he compromise or sell himself in some way? I'm not saying this guy necessarily did any of those - - I'm just saying, don't be fooled by those pictures of success you think you see.

As tough as you paint the picture that you live, you've obviously got some great things going for you. First and foremost, you're working as a team. There's not a job in the world or a prize in the universe that is more valuable than that. Thank God daily for that.

You've also enunciated that there is a financial plan - - you've set aside funds to prepare for lean times. Outstanding - - BRAVO -- Good for you 2! You've just eliminated a huge problem that traps most of us that are less far-sighted.

Dreams never die. Sometimes they are relegated to the back burner, or the bottom shelf - - but they never die. Sometimes we decide that they should be a lower priority, and we abandon the pursuit of them, but they never die. Fight the fight with him - - don't give up.

The harder the fight, the more meaningful will be the results. You'll thank yourselves later on. The hard times will not seem to have been so hard, and the strength that you will have gained from facing the challenges together will keep you close together.

It will get better - - don't give up.

 

[350DRIVER]

Dreams are just dreams, some come true but many others do not. I can only wish your husband the best of luck in his employment and career search but there will be a point in time where he is going to have to look at reality and decide what is in the best interest of his "family" versus career. Dreams and reality are very very different from each other.


Family is much more important than any far fetched dream of flying the big iron.


Either way I wish you luck and the patience to allow this situation to possibly get better..


3 5 0

 

[CUEBOAT]

I see this all the time. I work at a fairly big flight school. I'd say 80% of the students are mid to late 30's who gave up great careers to eat rahmen noodles for 3 years and they bitch about it. I'm not saying your husband is bitching I just don't understand this mid-life crisis career change. I'm young and know that is the only hope I have to recover from all these **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** loans I have out. I agree with 350driver, there is a turning point where enough is enough, I set my a date as my turning point myself, where if i'm still in debt i'm changing careers.

 

[Oakum_Boy]

Ever heard of Sally Struthers?

 

[AA717driver]

I'll give you my wife's e-mail and you can talk to her.

For the past several years, I was miserable(though I didn't realize it, she did). It wasn't until I got a forced change in my career that I realized it.

Bottom line is, if you husband is miserable you will be, too. Not that you should sacrifice your happiness for his but you can probably find a way out of this.

The career thing will sort itself out if he keeps a good attitude and keeps plugging away. Although the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is a lot smaller than it used to be.

Good luck and let me know if you want that e-mail address.TC

 

[CSY Mon]

Never give up.
There is a pot of gold out there somewhere.

I drove cabs to pay for flight school.
No college.

Flew single engine props for a bunch'o years.
Had wet dreams about twin time.
Finally got into a twin, surely I had died and arrived in heaven.

Then there was the turbine stuff.
Got that too after some years, even left seat.

Did not think I was ever going to a jet or to a major, but stuck to my guns.
(Had no choice, did not wanna go back and drive drunks at night in the cabs, ever)

One thing led to another, and before I was 40 years old, flew left seat in 747s all over the world.
To say it was rewarding would be a huge understatement.

I tell guys who ask, don't ever give up.......

(On the other hand, no wife, kids or mortgages in the lean years,
nuff said)

 

[Hawker1]

I'd just like to say that I enjoy reading these posts. It gives me a chance to look at both sides. I think TonyC made a good point by looking at the positive things. You two have what most couples in America don't have, a marriage that is strong and well-communicated.

I do believe that there are more important things in life other than flying. I know I'd love to have that dream job, but if it means moving my loved ones around all the time, and me missing ball games, birthdays, school events, etc then I'll just take the next best offer.

I really do enjoy reading all the posts in support of this hard working wife. To you, I can only say count your blessings, daily. Remember that life is what you make of it. I would say do what you feel is right for you and your husband BOTH. You never know, things might just work out. And by all means, laugh!

 

[Northern Lights]

Here is a recent link to the "Do it all again?" thread http://forums.flightinfo.com/showthread.php?threadid=33004&perpage=25&pagenumber=1

I would say that if you have made it this far, don't give up now! Nearly every regional airline is hiring this year and so are the 135 cargo places like Airnet.