New airline pilots on the radio

[DCAA320]

- I ALWAYS say "with you".

- I NEVER remember what the ATIS is so I omit it from the transmission knowing that ATC will ask if I have it and then I just say "yup". That's what I call utilizing my Tax Dollars... having a Civil Servant do that part of my job for me.

- When flying in Europe I always forget that 6000 feet is actually FL60. I'm an American and we won those World Wars so, I don't have to remember their radio phraseology. They're just lucky they ain't all speaking German.

- I've been doing this airline krap for damn near 30 years. At this point I could care less how I sound on the radio.


- Well, maybe I lied a bit in the last statement. Normally I speak in a whiny biatch voice but, I always lower it to a smooth radio-broadcaster baritone for ATC comms.




YKW

I agree with everything you said except it's "I couldn't care less," but I know you could't care less about what I am saying now.

 

[D-Bo]

Wind check!

What's wrong with asking for a wind check? When the ATIS says damn near calm and you're showing a direct cross of 40 knots at 1500 feet? Your target can be as much as 15 knots off.

 

[Scrapdog]

How to sound like a new pilot:

1. Say lots of totally unecessary words on the radio like "...checkin' in with you..."

2. Tell departure control at airports like LAX and ATL that you are "..airborne.."

3. Say "....here we go" after acknowledging an ATC clearance.

4. Say " ....no problem" after acknowedging a simple heading assignment from ATC. Optional is "no worries".

5. Always ask ATC "whaddaya need?" after giving your requested Mach# or airspeed to him.....as if ATC wasn't going to tell you unless you asked.

6. ALWAYS inform ATC that you are "with them" because they wouldn't know unless you tell them.

7. Make a busy congested frequency even more congested by pausing after reading back the new frequency and then add some useless crap like "have a good day" resulting in a blocked transmission and making the controllers day less nice. Just read back the frequency and call sign and be done with it. No one needs to be told to "have a good day". What a stupid habit.

8. UAL needs to get their pilots a professional sounding microphone on their headsets. They all sound they're flying some Cessna with a loud prop and a bunch of background air noise.

Jesus get a life.

 

[livin'thesim]

My #1 pet peeve is pilots that have pet peeves.

Oh, and the second, third, and umm, often fourth guy to holler "GUARD!"

I'd love to be flying with one of these guys if they made that mistake. I think I'd loudly declare "guard" right across the pedestal.

 

[Uncle Bunkle]

What's wrong with asking for a wind check? When the ATIS says damn near calm and you're showing a direct cross of 40 knots at 1500 feet? Your target can be as much as 15 knots off.

If you weren't wearing cowboy boots you wouldn't worry about wussy winds.

 

[Whine Lover]

"I agree with everything you said except it's "I couldn't care less "


No seriously, I could care less but..... it's not worth the effort. (!)



See what I did there?


Whine

 

[DCAA320]

:beer: :beer: :beer:

 

[FLYLOW22]

Say "guard!" On guard frequency every time someone accidentally transmits there. Alternatively - sophomoric baiting of the guard police by acting like a child on guard freq.

GUARD!! Guard guard!!!

 

[FurloughedAgain]

The pilots who care about someone else's radio calls, or zero/OH, or "checking in" are the ones who got beat up in high school or give pilots a bad name...



Some days I make proper sounding radio calls, some days probably not.. Go Fvck yourself if ya catch me on a lazy day..



A-B as easily as possible.. Up, cruise and down.. Pretty easy 99.999% of the time. 10k+ hours, no violations or even an ASAP... Don't make things complicated or worry about some random guy on a radio and you'll be ok

If you've gone 10,000 hours without an ASAP you're not filling out ASAPs when you probably should be. There's no shame in making an honest mistake.

 

[Data]

What's wrong with asking for a wind check? When the ATIS says damn near calm and you're showing a direct cross of 40 knots at 1500 feet? Your target can be as much as 15 knots off.

Navy or Air Force? I'd recommend going around at that point and giving the PM a solid briefing about how you'll counteract that wicked crosswind.

 

[CX880]

I'd like to come left 10 degrees

 

[D-Bo]

Navy or Air Force? I'd recommend going around at that point and giving the PM a solid briefing about how you'll counteract that wicked crosswind.

Why go around at that point? Just get the wind check to make sure you have the correct wind additive in? Ever flown into Narita landing on the 16s or any other airport on a bluff? 40 knots at 1500' is common. Nothing wrong with verifying the wind is still the same on the ground as advertised on the ATIS 30 minutes ago.
So you see no point or no good in asking for it?

 

[C-150ETOPS]

And why do pilots ask to deviate "for weather"? What other reason could there be?

Heading south near Sea Isle, no wind and a opposite direction 747-400/A380 on perfect reciprocal 1000' above and loaded for a 8-9 hour flight.

Just caught the big 4 engine glimpse passing above, requested an immediate turn.

We were also on standby for higher, think the guy forgot about the heavy.

 

[Hikoushi]

Actual conversation:

Military guy: "Mayday mayday mayday, XXXX 21 emergency descent 10 east of DENNS".

United or Alaska (only others out there): "GUARD."


I will assume the offender was far enough away to just hear the tin-can sound of the guy talking on the mask mic. Moral: if you are going to rip someone for talking on "GUARD", at least make sure you actually understand what the hell they just said.

 

[CoATP]

"traffic in the area please advise" {meaning ... I am an airline pilot I am too important to have listened prior to opening my mouth}

 

[Whine Lover]

Mesa sucks! (?)

 

[Singlecoil]

"traffic in the area please advise" {meaning ... I am an airline pilot I am too important to have listened prior to opening my mouth}

+1!
This is an inane practice.

 

[UpNDownGuy]

"How are you doing? ".

Look, we already suspected you were a regional pilot, there's no need to confirm it EVERY SINGLE TIME you check in.

 

[el raton]

I have a boat.

 

[D-Bo]

"traffic in the area please advise" {meaning ... I am an airline pilot I am too important to have listened prior to opening my mouth}

It could actually mean that you just got on CTAF frequency so may not have heard the previous position reports. Or it could mean that maybe there is traffic in the area that didn't feel it necessary or prudent to report there position because they for some reason thought they were the only ones in the area. Or simply this is how they were taught coming up. Look, these words don't cost money. They're free. And in this case radio operations on CTAF into a non-towered airport is not bogging down a CTAF frequency.

 

[Uncle Bunkle]

"sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight".

 

[Brett Hull]

It could actually mean that you just got on CTAF frequency so may not have heard the previous position reports. Or it could mean that maybe there is traffic in the area that didn't feel it necessary or prudent to report there position because they for some reason thought they were the only ones in the area. Or simply this is how they were taught coming up. Look, these words don't cost money. They're free. And in this case radio operations on CTAF into a non-towered airport is not bogging down a CTAF frequency.

Pilots stating, ?Traffic in the area, please advise? is not a recognized Self-Announce Position and/or Intention phrase and should not be used under any condition.

The onus is on you to look out the window and not forget about Jimbob in his Luscombe who doesn't even turn on his radio.

 

[boomlrd]

It is funny, all these years I always wondered why United sounds like they are flying a piston aircraft, glad to know I was not the only one that thought that. Does United outfit their aircraft with another brand than Telex, or is it a different type of connection? Just curious.

 

[Flopgut]

It's also "funny" that United is the combination of United and Continental, but for purposes of whining about our transmissions? Its just 1 airline that's always sounded bad

 

[SpauldingSmails]

It is funny, all these years I always wondered why United sounds like they are flying a piston aircraft, glad to know I was not the only one that thought that. Does United outfit their aircraft with another brand than Telex, or is it a different type of connection? Just curious.

They crack the window for fresh air.

 

[Jonny Sacko]

Fa Fa Fo Fum

 

[ImbracableCrunk]

We'd like to put FL350 on request.

Ok, then do it.

And stop with the "on request" BS.

 

[Uncle Bunkle]

What's the score in the (insert ponderous sports matchup here)?

 

[wonka]

So going to do #1-#7 on next trip . . . .

 

[Freebrd]

And, "how long is the final", always loved that one. Whatya gonna do, make a PA below 10K when you're entering downwind?