A good Naval Academy grad story from a close friend of mine in Pensacola. She plays the part of Kristin in this.
And if you need explination on the Oliver joke refer to this site
www.factualmaterial.com/douchebag.htm
"chose to go to Pensacola Beach with Celandine instead.) The following is all true-
We saw a really tan guy with a pink shirt and a popped collar and "intellectual glasses".
Celandine: "Ooooh, he's hot"
Kristin: "He looks like a douchebag"
Celandine: "You don't even know him"
Kristin: "That's why I said he looks like one"
Kristin (to Douchebag): "Hey, is your name Oliver?"
Douchebag: "Why do people keep asking me that?"
I saw a guy I was totally interested in talking to. Great outfit. Funny T-shirt, cord blazer... shorts and old school bike messenger shoes. I think he's adorable.
He makes a beeline for Celandine. **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** him. Good thing his friends have a sense of humor and are willing to gab with me.
He buys her a beer. I'm nursing a Coors Light.
Celandine (to guy, in a very rude voice): "Do I look like the kind of trashy girl who drinks beer? Get me a glass of wine."
I'm still nursing that beer, by the way and guy's friends are like "Who the F___ does that chick think she is?"
So he orders a mini-bottle of Ernest & Julio Gallo (read: one tiny step up from Boone's Farm)merlot and the barkeep pours it in a plastic cup. She's sipping.
Guy's Friend #1: "Hey Cellophane, how's that gum you're smacking on?"
Guy's Friend #2 (to me): "How can you hang out with her?"
I shrug.
Celandine and guy converse on what appears to be Quantum Physics, International Politics and Rocket Science.
Guy walks over to his friends who are talking to me and taking an active role in making fun of her. Guy whispers a loud drunk whisper to his buddy: "Dude, these chicks are dumb. We're in." (Keep in mind, guy hasn't said two words to me to assume with any validity whether I'm dumb or not)
His buddy: "No, I'm pretty sure that's just the one you were talking to"
Guy: "Whatever"
Me (to guy): "Oh, look at that... I just spilled my beer ALL over you."
Too bad a really cool outfit was wasted on such a dirtbag.
Turns out dirtbag is an '04 Naval Academy Grad. Double Fvck him.
Told Celandine I couldn't hang out anymore for a while. Scoping guys requires too much energy. I'd rather just sit at a bar and drink
beer."