Letterman's top ten "Drunk Pilot Signs"

[LearLove]

I didn't see the show but got this email today when woke up:

Here's David Letterman's Top 10 list from last night:

10. Introduces his co-pilots Johnnie Walker and Jack Daniels

9. Wings on his hat made of folded cocktail straws

8. In lieu of P.A. safety instructions, he sings "Kung Fu Fighting"

7. Long rambling announcements about what animal shapes he's seeing in the clouds

6. At security, passengers remove shoes---he removes pants

5. Giggling fit every time he says the word "cockpit"

4. Delays takeoff to de-ice his mojito

3. You experience heavy turbulence and you're only taxiing to the runway

2. Invites all passengers to a "layover" in his hotel room

1. Midflight asks, "Which one of you losers is the designated driver?"

doesn't number 3 always apply in PHL on "Mike" taxiway, on the way to 27L?

 

[aeronautic1]

No. 3

Or taxiway from Executive Beechcraft to 19 at MKC?

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Or the runway in Gainesville, FL (GNV) before the repaved it.

 

[Hovernut]

...or on 36R at CVG?

 

[Kingairrick]

24@ Teb

 

[jaywc7]

The runway at OEO is so bumpy with cracks. Most of them haven't been fixed, so big grasses grow through them. First they mow the grass runway,,, then they mow the paved runway! They will have a brand new 5000 within the next year though - shoudln't be a problem anymore.

 

[labbats]

Anywhere at KMDT

 

[CFIcare]

24@ Teb

no kidding. I was trying not to pop wheelies the whole way to Vr last time I was there. It's like they put speed bumps on that runway....

 

[SkyBoy1981]

21 at CHS

 

[ATRedneck]

Takeoff on 4L @ EWR.

Any runway in North Carolina. CLT, GSO, RDU, AVL... is there a level runway in that state?? Anywhere?

 

[PUflight]

1-DCA Sorry had to add my bumpy runyway comment........

 

[Cardinal]

12/30 at WDG

 

[Brett Hull]

The intersection of 20 when departing 33 at CHA. My back hurts from that one.

 

[puddlejumper101]

9l Fll

 

[FracCapt]

I'd say the bumpiest runway I've seen in the US is 18R/36L at APC. It's like running over speedbumps every 100'.