Let's Hear it Folks ! You Might be a FR8DOG if......

[leardawg]

If you're an expert at hand-flying a Lear at FL410 @0200 ELP-YIP while doing the head-bob thing.

If the house keeping at your hotel speaks better english than your FO.

If you've ever been asked to leave the premises at an FBO because you look like a homeless person.

If the smell of popcorn evokes memories most people get from thoughts of Thanksgivings past.

If your thunderstorm avoidance procedures rely on "was that a flash at about 2 O'Clock?! Let's ask for 20 to the left!"

If you've developed an affinity for burnt coffee.

If you know which recliners in which FBOs offer the most comfortable several hours of sleep.

If you've ever slept using half the cargo net as a mattress, and the other half as a blanket.

 

[leardawg]

If you've ever put coins into the pilot desk phone @ Murray Aviation in DET. (They still have that thing?).

If you've ever gotten "into" whatever program The Brothaz are watching @ Murray.

If you've EVER been to the Murray shack @DET.

If you've flown into DET 200 times, but never have been to Signature (and never realized they have an FBO there).

 

[ShortBusTim]

You might be a freight dog if the only glass on the flightdeck is the windshield...

 

[414Flyer]

You might be a freight dog if the only glass on the flightdeck is the windshield...

I made that exact comment to my FO other day too about the Shorts.

 

[Dumbluck]

do Ehsi's/ Eadi's count as glass?

If you and your airplane were born on the same day, you might be a
frieght-dog

 

[leardawg]

do Ehsi's/ Eadi's count as glass?

If you and your airplane were born on the same day, you might be a
frieght-dog

That's not saying a lot these days. If your airplane and your DAD share the same birth day, you might be a freight dog!

 

[leardawg]

If the Customs guy @ YIP has refused to come out until you move, because you've parked 10 feet short of the Customs Circle at night or on a snow-covered ramp.

 

[Going2Baja]

If you change out of your uniform after the push and put on your Navy Sweats.

If you tell the jumpseater to sleep in the a/c while you go to your hotel in Singapore.

If you are the new crew and you find the jumpseater asleep in the cockpit and this doesn't bother you.

If you give (above) jumpseater a ride from ANK to Lax and he is carrying a surfboard and that doesn't even warrant a question.

If you buzz Tavarua off Fiji at under 500 agl and think this is std ops.

If capt is 26 and f/o is 24 and f/e is 70 on a B-747 (same flt as above)

===============================================

Some of the best flights as pilot or jumpseater I've ever had were while jumpseating on Fed-X and Polar - THANKS GUYS!!!

BTW - all above were witnessed by me while jumpseating international.

 

[727gm]

You might be a freight dog if:

You get parked at a jetway, and all three crewmembers go down to take photos to show the guys back at the hub.

You have to climb down the emergency escape rope to talk to the fueler and get your flight plan at an intermediate stop. (extra credit if this occurs AT YOUR HUB.....well, it WAS before-hours..)

You begin crossfeeding off of the other wing after you notice the excessive aileron yoke displacement poking out from behind the capt and FO's newspapers.

You insist the company provide full-sized 8 x 12" laminated plastic briefing, normal, & emergency checklists because you fly east on the outbound.

You know what a tailstand, a gill liner, and a 9-G bulkhead is.

You piss in a "baggage closet" (NO no. 2!)

Your FE panel has a sharpie-marker "fun meter" on it (and it's pegged)

Your aircraft HAS an FE panel.

Your aircraft is over 100,000 lbs and you have "flight followers" instead of dispatchers.

You carry a Leatherman in your flight case.

 

[leardawg]

If you were on a first-name basis with Ralph at Brownsville Air Center (in the late 90's/early 2000's; don't know if he's still there).

 

[leardawg]

If you've ever looked forward to a fuel stop @ Omni Air in LIT because of the free pizza waiting for you (and ice cream!)

Sorry for the multiple posts; these things pop into mind slowly as I get older!

If you've ever been kicked out of Garrett @ LAX because you picked up freight there, but were planning on buying fuel later from the Contract Fuel people at a different ramp.(We're not a freight depot; you're not welcome here anymore!).

You found yourself standing motionless, drooling, while waiting to sign the fuel ticket for Season @ TAC AIR in SHV. (Duuuuuuh, just passing by, just passing by, duuuuuh!). (Early 2000's; I hear she's gone now).

You've been to the Cyprus Gardens restaurant @ MLU a gazillion times.

You were able to actually take a nap at the unbelievably ratty Kitty Hawk pilot room at EWR (demolished, appropriately, a couple of years ago).

You ever had a (or multiple, because he never remembered you) conversation(s) with the ex-corporate pilot who had had brain surgery, and hung around the FBO @ LYH in the early 2000s (I always made the time for him; there but for the grace of god went the rest of us).

 

[leardawg]

I'm kinda dating myself, because it's been 5 years since I've flown freight. There's gotta be some ex-freight dogs out there who know what I'm talking about, however!

 

[81Horse]

... you know for a fact that crew ladders and tail stands do not hinder normal flight.

... you have, in the darkness of the night, made a few deals with God -- and promptly forgotten them after you landed safely.

... for the rest of your career, you secretly wish all the other people in the cockpit would disappear.

... the dimmest setting on your panel and overhead lights is not dim enough.

... you carry duct tape in your flightbag for the following purposes: covering over too-bright annunciator lights; sealing leaky/noisy windows and doors; taping curtains or blinds to prevent light leaks.

... you have ever had a radio unit fall out of the stack during rotation, crushing your hand.

... your first response to the request, "Say altitude," is, "What should it be right here?"

... when instructed to "remain VFR," you ask, "Anyone else out here VFR at my altitude?"

... you scud run through weather and terrain as if you were bringing life-saving serum to Nome -- but really, all you have onboard is a second-day letterpak for the Sun'n'Fun Motorsports Center.

... when your judgment does kick in, and you divert, Dispatch tries to twist your arm into trying again -- because the asshat driver says the weather looks okay to him.

... you stagger into the layover apartment mid-morning, and somebody asks you if you have last week's mail for 24C.

... all of your flights sound pretty much like the first page of an NTSB report.

... you sincerely hope that if you kill yourself in an airplane, you will manage to do it in a totally original way.

... you know that certain models of Lear must be rolled to achieve the left-right flashing landing light effect.

... you will always believe, deep in your heart, that any pilot who has never been a freight dog is suspect.

 

[leardawg]

LOL! That's funny!

 

[pilotyip]

Leardawg, what was wrong with the Kitty Hawk ramp at EWR?. It was open all night, it was heated somewhat, it had bathroom with toilets that flused sometimes and it had a 13" B&W TV in the lounge. That was fr8dog heaven. You think flying into DET to go to "Murray and Hood" is an adventure, try driving down there at night to pick up an airplane.

 

[leardawg]

You could while the time away waiting the 2-3 hours for the contract fueler to show up by counting the rats running around the building!

 

[leardawg]

I do remember making the mistake once of getting a ride from Murray to a McDonald's downtown. They actually had bullet-proof glass between the customers and workers. You placed the order through a microphone, slid the money through a slot, and picked it up through a double door system, so there was never any direct contact. I swear there were guys wearing gang colors in line there. I couldn't get out fast enough! The Murray vending machine seemed quite adequate for me after that!

 

[big pimpn']

"Leardawg", this is ATC!! advise when ready to copy. You are cleared to post the next fifteen pages of this thread.......................

 

[NoPax]

Pilot's and controllers refer to you as 'bam-bam', and you know what continuous severe turbulence feels like...for 40 minutes

You know that light frost sublimates on takeoff, and that de-icing your airplane costs more than your route pays the company.

You check the weather to see if your car needs to be hangared, so you'll be able to drive home.

You arrive at the airport on-time only to find your courier will be 5 hours late due to the weather.

The aircraft you fly have patches of velcro around the inside of the cabin windows

 

[leardawg]

If you actually qualify for membership in the Society of Experimental Test Pilots because of all the time you've spent flying airplanes "outside of the envelope".

If you've ever done a run into MOT (Minot ND) in JUNE, in shorts, T-shirt and sneakers, only to open the airplane door to snow/rain mix.

If you've ever done a run to Deadhorse Alaska in AUGUST in same duds, and the FBO manager in Juneau (fuel stop) felt sorry enough for you that he gave both of you free FBO sweatshirts ("You guys are gonna need these!").

If your FO ever looked at you with a panicky look when you've suggested "Let's go get a REAL meal at a decent restaurant" because he doesn't want to (i.e. can't) spend more than $5.72 on a meal (I'm really not that hungry to tell ya the truth. I'll just get something light later on).

If you've ever been at some podunk airport awaiting "imminent' freight arrival, starved, no crew car available, and 5 cents short of the cheapest item in the vending machine. You then proceed to check couches, cushions, underneath them, etc. in a desperate search for that futive nickel ("There's gotta be one somewhere in this building). You then find it beneath the vending machine. AHA!