Lamest PA phrases

[Typhoon1244]

...it just may be that the public has a positive reaction to "flight deck," perhaps precisely for the aforementioned reason that it reminds them of the "deck" of the NCC 1701-x, a la Captains Kirk/Picard.

That gives me an idea: "good afternoon, folks, from the bridge, this is your Captain speaking..."

 

[Fly2Scuba]

Best PA announcement I ever heard from a Captain was on every leg, "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome aboard....blah, blah, blah... Also you may experience a screaming baby in the cabin during some portion of the flight; I'm sure the parents are doing their best to calm their baby, and realize that when you were very young, you caused the same commotion. So consider it retribution."

 

[mike1mc]

Perhaps flight deck in lieu of cockpit is a marketing moniker.

If an aircraft has a cockpit, it sounds old, rickety, and cramped. Not modern, up to date, and equipped with the latest gagets for safety and ease.

I heard the reason for using 'flight deck' instead of 'cockpit' was that its politically correct. As stupid as it may be, I believe it. I really hate the term 'flight deck'. How big does the plane have to be to have a flight deck anyway? I think the King Air is small enough to still have a cockpit.

Where is TABExpressF/O when you need him?!?!?!

 

[Typhoon1244]

How big does the plane have to be to have a flight deck anyway?

I always based it on method of propulsion: a Brasilia has a "cockpit," and an RJ has a "flight deck."

 

[CatYaaak]

OK then, Mr high-and-mighty. Why don't you grace us with your version of a "proper" PA so that we may all aspire to some day be like you and win an oscar for our original PA performance?

My you're touchy. OK try this one. "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard your express elevator to he11. Kindly stow you baggage and take your seats promptly. We mustn't keep Satan waiting".

 

[SuperFLUF]

My you're touchy. OK try this one. "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard your express elevator to he11. Kindly stow you baggage and take your seats promptly. We mustn't keep Satan waiting".

Now that's a good PA. Southwest likes jokers so get a 73 type and you're in.

 

[Jmmccutc]

in my preflight brief i always tell my pax after the standard stuff, "in the case of an emergency pray, cause i'll be to busy trying to save my as$ to think about you..." my mom was a little scared...

 

[mar]

Euphemistic bullsh!t

How about:

"The cabin is pressurized for your comfort."

--Yes. I agree. Being unconscious at -54C is indeed very uncomfortable.

"But in the event of a loss of cabin pressure a mask will appear. Place the mask over your nose and mouth and *breathe normally*."

--You mean if I wasn't already sucked out of the airplane and can still manage to grasp the mask as it's flapping about in 450 knots of wind?

Sure. You bet.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Re: Euphemistic bullsh!t

"The cabin is pressurized for your comfort."

Euphamisms? How about "in the event of a water landing."

Sounds almost pleasant.

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

THE ONE THAT ANNOYS ME THE MOST IS WE ARE DESCENDING THROUGH LIKE 15000FT AND I HEAR THIS

"LADIES AND GENTELMEN, WE ARE CLEARED TO LAND IN OAKLAND"

BULL**CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**, WE GET CLEARED TO LAND ABOUT 4 MILES FROM THE AIRPORT, NOT OUT OF 15000FT ON THE SWITCH BETWEEN CENTER AND APPROACH.