Lamest PA phrases

[SuperFLUF]

No, actually its "sit back, relax and enjoy the excellent inflight service" Mr. Holier than thou.

 

[I.P. Freley]

>>>One of my PA pet-peeves is pilots who insist on talking to passengers about APU's, minimums, ILS's, clearance delivery, "holding at CAPTI," etc, etc. Remember, you're talking to people who think an "aileron" is some kind of French yogurt<<<

Our manuals warn of using "technical phrases" and "jargon" in announcements... As I'm sure everyone else's manuals do. In our case, the example given is the hopelessly flyboy-sounding "broken clouds".

Then again, we are also warned not to use humor in cabin announcements, as the jokes usually fall flat.

I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

 

[mullet]

....while calling the cockpit a "flight deck" reeks of psuedo-self-importance.

Let me guess your PA consists of- "From the cockpit this is YOUR CAPTAIN CatYaak and on behalf of MY first officer Short Straw and I....blah blah blah...the flight attentdants are here primarly for your safety...blah blah blah".
Saying flightdeck=self importance, I think you got it backwards. Including titles and names on PA's is where the self-importance lies.

While we are on the subject, if you are going to make a PA enroute, please include the time remaining, thats all we care about!!!!

 

[lurker]

If the company that pays your paycheck (and the airplane flight manual) wants you to call it the "flight deck" then you call it the flight deck.
The psuedo-self importance comes from the pilot who thinks that their way is right and everyone who doesn't do it their way is wrong.

are you sure you weren't in the military?

 

[HAZ-MAT]

Anybody at Express Jet Airlines might be able to answer this question...
Do you all still use Captain David Barts' "Guide to effective cabin announcements?"

 

[mnboyev]

'Welcome aboard flight ###, ALL METAL, Jet Service from Atlanta to Orlando'. I crack up at the ol grey hair making the anouncement in a serious and calming voice. LOL

 

[CatYaaak]

Let me guess your PA consists of- "From the cockpit this is YOUR CAPTAIN CatYaak and on behalf of MY first officer Short Straw and I....blah blah blah...the flight attentdants are here primarly for your safety...blah blah blah".
Saying flightdeck=self importance, I think you got it backwards. Including titles and names on PA's is where the self-importance lies.

Nice try, but never did this one either. It sounds pompous too. Question, where did you come up with the strange notion that including titles or classifying any fellow pilot as "my" is somehow the alternative to saying "flight deck"?

 

[SuperFLUF]

Nice try, but never did this one either. It sounds pompous too. Question, where did you come up with the strange notion that including titles or classifying any fellow pilot as "my" is somehow the alternative to saying "flight deck"?

OK then, Mr high-and-mighty. Why don't you grace us with your version of a "proper" PA so that we may all aspire to some day be like you and win an oscar for our original PA performance?

 

[Resume Writer]

I'm aware of that. Forgive me for reliving the past but at TWA it was an FA announcement. When AA procedures were instituted it became an FO announcement made during the critical time of pulling into the gate. Dumb.

Dude

Wow, that is a really strange thing having the FO do the announcement. You all have too much stuff to do up there to be doing that announcement. Amazing....

 

[Timebuilder]

Perhaps flight deck in lieu of cockpit is a marketing moniker.

If an aircraft has a cockpit, it sounds old, rickety, and cramped. Not modern, up to date, and equipped with the latest gagets for safety and ease.

Since there are focus groups for almost every product and idea nowadays, it just may be that the public has a positive reaction to "flight deck," perhaps precisely for the aforementioned reason that it reminds them of the "deck" of the NCC 1701-x, a la Captains Kirk/Picard.

Customers are the reason the plane is there, the pilots are there, and the jobs are there.

Maybe it makes sense to use words the customers prefer to hear?

 

[Typhoon1244]

...it just may be that the public has a positive reaction to "flight deck," perhaps precisely for the aforementioned reason that it reminds them of the "deck" of the NCC 1701-x, a la Captains Kirk/Picard.

That gives me an idea: "good afternoon, folks, from the bridge, this is your Captain speaking..."

 

[Fly2Scuba]

Best PA announcement I ever heard from a Captain was on every leg, "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome aboard....blah, blah, blah... Also you may experience a screaming baby in the cabin during some portion of the flight; I'm sure the parents are doing their best to calm their baby, and realize that when you were very young, you caused the same commotion. So consider it retribution."

 

[mike1mc]

Perhaps flight deck in lieu of cockpit is a marketing moniker.

If an aircraft has a cockpit, it sounds old, rickety, and cramped. Not modern, up to date, and equipped with the latest gagets for safety and ease.

I heard the reason for using 'flight deck' instead of 'cockpit' was that its politically correct. As stupid as it may be, I believe it. I really hate the term 'flight deck'. How big does the plane have to be to have a flight deck anyway? I think the King Air is small enough to still have a cockpit.

Where is TABExpressF/O when you need him?!?!?!

 

[Typhoon1244]

How big does the plane have to be to have a flight deck anyway?

I always based it on method of propulsion: a Brasilia has a "cockpit," and an RJ has a "flight deck."

 

[CatYaaak]

OK then, Mr high-and-mighty. Why don't you grace us with your version of a "proper" PA so that we may all aspire to some day be like you and win an oscar for our original PA performance?

My you're touchy. OK try this one. "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard your express elevator to he11. Kindly stow you baggage and take your seats promptly. We mustn't keep Satan waiting".

 

[SuperFLUF]

My you're touchy. OK try this one. "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard your express elevator to he11. Kindly stow you baggage and take your seats promptly. We mustn't keep Satan waiting".

Now that's a good PA. Southwest likes jokers so get a 73 type and you're in.

 

[Jmmccutc]

in my preflight brief i always tell my pax after the standard stuff, "in the case of an emergency pray, cause i'll be to busy trying to save my as$ to think about you..." my mom was a little scared...

 

[mar]

Euphemistic bullsh!t

How about:

"The cabin is pressurized for your comfort."

--Yes. I agree. Being unconscious at -54C is indeed very uncomfortable.

"But in the event of a loss of cabin pressure a mask will appear. Place the mask over your nose and mouth and *breathe normally*."

--You mean if I wasn't already sucked out of the airplane and can still manage to grasp the mask as it's flapping about in 450 knots of wind?

Sure. You bet.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Re: Euphemistic bullsh!t

"The cabin is pressurized for your comfort."

Euphamisms? How about "in the event of a water landing."

Sounds almost pleasant.

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

THE ONE THAT ANNOYS ME THE MOST IS WE ARE DESCENDING THROUGH LIKE 15000FT AND I HEAR THIS

"LADIES AND GENTELMEN, WE ARE CLEARED TO LAND IN OAKLAND"

BULL**CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**, WE GET CLEARED TO LAND ABOUT 4 MILES FROM THE AIRPORT, NOT OUT OF 15000FT ON THE SWITCH BETWEEN CENTER AND APPROACH.