joke

[Broke in CVG]

"Attention passengers for Comair Flight 5904, with service to Saint Louis. Your flight is delayed because of a mechanical problem."

So, this old lady goes up to the gate agent who looks at her warmly and says: "Yeah, what do you want?"

"What kind of mechanical problem?" the old lady asked

"Well, the pilot said that the plane is not safe to fly, and he won't fly this plane." replied the gate agent.

"Oh," said the lady "So we are waiting for a new plane?"

"No! we're waiting for a new pilot."

 

[WrightAvia]

a four engine jet airliner was crossing the Atlantic.

They lost an engine and the flight crew deterimined the aircraft at it's current weight, would not make it across without running out of fuel. So they asked the cabin flight crew to get all the carry on luggage and anything not bolted down, for that matter and jettison it.

A little while later the plane lost another engine. Futher calculations conlcluded that more weight had to go. So they asked that all the seats be removed and tossed out.

Things were looking up, till they lost the third engine. So with some radio calls they arranged air sea rescue to pick up any volunteer passengers from the sea, if they chose to make a jump for it. The flight crew made this announcement and a brave Brittish passenger got up and walked to the door shouting "God Save The QUEEN!" and jumped out.

Seeing the need, a French man got up and uttered "Viva La France!" and he jumped.

Then witout pause, a burly Texan got up and yelled "Remember the ALAMO!", grabbing two mexicans and tossing 'em out the door.

 

[Swass]

That's funny as hell but I'm sure you'll get the third degree from some of the PC police in here.

 

[WrightAvia]

Yea, some hypocrite PC types giving me the third degree. Now that IS funny. They better donate their land to some American Indians and move back to liberal Europe then.

I thought maybe the inclusion of the Frenchman was going to be the worst of my worries with that joke.

 

[ibaflyer]

Ok since we are telling Jokes.....I have one that some may consider in poor taste.

What did John F. Kennedy say to John Jr. when he arrived at the pearly gates?


"You needed that plane like I needed a hole in the head".

 

[WrightAvia]

whoooboy!

 

[Flying Illini]

ibaflyer,
if your joke was in bad taste, your avatar more than made up for it!!

 

[WrightAvia]

I was talking to one of my instrument students once. She tells me that in her occupation, she's a comediane.

I asked her, "What are you... a comedian, or something!?".

 

[Counselair]

Ok this one's stupid but my favorite...


"What did the Giraffe say when he walked in the bar?"

"Giraffe- "the Highballs are on me!!!"


Ha Ha H... Don't ya get it??? Ya see he's a Giraffe and he's got really high...aw never mind. Back to surfin...


Counselair

 

[s3jetman]

anyone got any pilot jokes?
here is one i have

How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb?



One! The pilot stands there and holds the light while the world revolves around him.