Explain the three types of holding entries. One wrist turned outbound, cuffs in the strong hand. Facedown, hands on back of head. Two man, both wrists restrained and twisted outward.
What advantages do we have for not listing an alternate? No incriminating evidence.
What are the standard alternate minimums? A very liberal spouse, and a large checking account.
Where do we find non-standard alternate minimums and/or restrictions to the minimums? Usually in church.
What kind of fluid is in a magnetic compass and why. Wiskey. That way it can be consumed in the event of a horriffic injury, and can be used to sanitize wounds. The origional intent was to use tequila, but the worm causes binding on the compass needle bearing.
What are the 6 methods for checking the accuracy of a VOR before IFR flight? Striking the face of the instrument. Removing the instrument from the panel and rattling it. Applying extra voltage to see if it holds up. Tuning to a local station and then holding a magnet near the omni head to see if it screws things up. Tuning to a local VOT station while shaking the airplane violently to simulate turbulence. Actually flying the approach under IFR, and if upon breaking out and finding that the approach looks about right, quickly pencilwhipping it and backdating the entry a day or two.
In using a back course localizer for a departure, do you correct towards or away from the needle? Depends if you have a HSI and dialed in the front course, like a good boy.
What is the frequency band of a glide slope (LF, MF, HF, VHF, UHF, etc.)? Punk, I believe, and twice nightly at the Paladium and three times on Saturdays.
When do you cancel your IFR flight plan? Just prior to going in the clouds. That's scary stuff, and it's better to cancel, duck underneath, and fly where you can see what you're hitting.
Does an aircraft on an IFR flight plan,making an approach, have priority over VFR traffic? Depends how big it is, and how gutsy the VFR traffic wants to be.
Explain what to do in an event of a communication failure. I assume prayer and screaming aren't part of the equation. Descend below 50 AGL and read road signs. This also has the added advantage of ensuring accuracy when dropping signed messages to gas stations and road houses, to pass on to ATC for you.
What route would you follow? The one that leads in a direct line to Disneyland.
Altitude? Thank you. You too.
When would you start your descent and shoot the approach? Within three minutes of my ETA to Disneyland, or four minutes of needing to go tinkle.
What does "cleared for the approach" mean? It means end of the third date, and all the right signals are there.
What is the difference between a back course and front course approach? Generally how well you know someone, and certainly personal preference.
A holding fix is an NDB, when do you begin timing the outbound leg of the hold. Abeam the ankle.
What is
HIRL: Also pronounced "Hurl," a term meaning "to vomit."
REIL: Defines the differnce between virtual flight and actual flight. Also sometimes stated as "It's been reil."
RAIL: Used to strike errant students about the head and shoulders during flight instruction
ALS: Advanced life support. Used to keep overweight captains alive and kicking until they can get on the ground and die in their own bed.
SALS: A hot topping best reserved for tortilla chips
PCL: Politically Correct Landing: one you can walk away from, and still smile
What does the term "radar vectoring" in the communications group mean? The communications group is pretty informal, and most of them understand this really means "let's do lunch."
A glide slope facility provides a path which flares from____ to ____ feet above the runway. A glide slope doesn't flare at all. Category 1 approaches aren't flightchecked below 200', and this negates the concept of flaring.
When don't you have to make a report at a solid triangle on an L-chart? Because my kids probably drew it there, and darned if they're telling me what to do.
What band of frequencies are compass locators within? Little River Band, from 1995 to 1998. Presently working on a new album, independantly.
What is the difference between a "feeder facilities ring" and an "enroute facilities ring"? One does primarily fast food, catering to truckers and those on the road, while the other is more of a sit-down meal.
Where do we find the inoperative components table for an approach? Usually in the repair shed, but these components are best left alone for competent repairmen to handle.
When is a standard hold more than one minute in length? With prior approval, only after the third date, and remember; "No" always means no!
What is a "visual approach"? One where she sees you coming across the room, but can't escape. Used only on blind dates where one thinks one has a chance.
What is a "transmissometer"? Used to power the drivetrain of most modern french automobiles; converts engine power to wheel power. Also a device which lets one know just how much one is missed.
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