In flight pranks

[cforst513]

well, get a move on, then!!! time is of the essence... i need an answer by next sunday. it's in the general section

 

[Flechas]

I'll look it up, gotta get going now though, just woke up from a nap after a red eye and haven't had anything to eat, I'm starving!!

See ya!

 

[Lead Sled]

Back in my air ambulance pilot days we would occasionally have to “gown up” when we transported patients with certain contagious diseases or symptoms. It was something that we didn’t like doing - it meant that we had to wear a face mask and go into quarantine upon the completion of the flight. We had to remain in quarantine until hospital staff called us told us otherwise. While we were “out of service” we were supposed to lock the MU-2's door and put up a sign that read: “Warning, Do Not Enter. Quarantined Aircraft.”

One evening, I was called out on a trip where we needed to gown up. We returned back to the airport a couple of hours prior to shift change. Following procedure, I locked the aircraft, placed the sign on the door, and went up to the quarantine area to await the call from the hospital.

The call finally came just before the mechanics showed up for work. I went down to the airplane to remove the sign and unlock the door. I figured that it would be the perfect opportunity for a little “payback” so we simply unlocked the door and placed the quarantine sign face down on the hangar floor and kicked it under the airplane where it couldn’t be readily seen.

When the mechanic showed up to work, he walked out to the airplane and started performing his “daily” mechanic's preflight. We waited until he had entered the airplane then had the hospital dispatcher page him. He was advised that the airplane and pilots were contaminated with some highly contagious deadly virus and that the pilots had been transported to the hospital for emergency treatment. The dispatcher asked him where he was and our illustrious mechanic told him that he was sitting in the airplane. He was then told that he would have to be quarantined and that they were dispatching an ambulance to transport him to the hospital. He was told to stay in the airplane and keep the door closed. The poor guy took it hook line and sinker. A mean thing to do? Perhaps, but like I said, it was a great payback.

************
One of the guys I used to work with had flown C-119s in the Air Force back in the 1950's. They would frequently fly those things with the rear doors removed. New guys liked to tie a strap to themselves and go to tthe back of the airplane while they were flying - it must have been quite a view.

What they didn't realize was that with the doors removed the "fluid" from the relief tube would get sucked back into the rear opening. The cockpit crew would take turns peeing into the hose and watching the load masters wipe the "spray" off their glasses and faces.

'Sled

 

[cforst513]

HAHAHA, that's gross, 'sled! great stories, keep 'em coming!

 

[LJDRVR]

We have a guy who loves to sleep when it's not his leg.

hahahaha

Carlos? "I took some sleeping pills...."

Hey! Who's the Hermann chick in your avatar? You need to e-mail me a picture, man.

 

[Vik]

some of you have absolutely zero sense of humor

 

[English]

Some I've *heard* others do...


In the Saab, the lav is directly behind the FO seat. Seat lid rests up against the bulkhead behind the FO seat. Male captain goes to the lav during flight (presumably standing) and FO bangs on the bulkhead, causing toilet seat to drop on captian's member while bodily function in progress.

Also in the Saab, there is a handle grip above each pilot's seat. While on the ground on a 20 minute turn, place ice cubes up there. 20 minutes later, it's time for takeoff and the ice cubes have melted. Water falls on the captain's head when the power levers are brought up.

Last one for the Saab...captain and FO have been having landing contests all day - who can grease it on the best? FO is flying, and to get even for the prior two practical jokes, captain tests the fire warning system during the FO's flare. Guess who won?

I have lots on the Citation that I've *heard* others do, but I don't want to give my co-pilot any ideas!

 

[rchcfi]

One of our FBO's female CSAs wanted me to take her and 2 of her 20 year old female friends for a ride one recent Saturday night. I relunctantly agreed ;-)

As I start to taxi the little Cessna I make sure to turn the yoke as I would normally steer a car. Then I ask the unsuspecting gal up front if she'd like to try her hand at taxiing. (They always say "YES!") I tell her to make sure she stays on the yellow line. Then I slowly start applying a little rudder pressure to get us drifting one way. When she tries to correct I slam the rudder in the opposite direction scaring the crap out of her. She starts screaming and grabs the pilot wherever she can. Sometimes it is a great precursor to a great night....

 

[DX Rick]

I was flying with my brother once. He was being a little too quiet so I sucker punched him in the nose. Blood was everywhere, but man did I laugh!

 

[Kream926]

i told my mother to watch the 3 little lights (marker beacons) on the dash and let me know if one of them lights cause we'll be introuble. soon enough passing over the dep. end they went off. she swears not to fly with me again.

i took a non flying friend of mine flying one time, he sat in the back of a 172r while my sister sat in the front.model with one of the comm. panels that you can switch to who can hear what and so on. i looked over at the tach and tap-ed on it saying "this doesnt look right" and other instruments and so on and so on. then reached up and turned the intercomm off. ya he didnt like that too much

 

[cforst513]

I was flying with my brother once. He was being a little too quiet so I sucker punched him in the nose. Blood was everywhere, but man did I laugh!

LMFAO!!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

 

[C-150ETOPS]

Got suckered into the back of a 757 to check a "door air leak."
Of course it was actually my birthday, resulting in 30 pillows thrown at me and then 180+ pax singing "happy birthday".

The pax were all liquored up on the Barbados bound flight, so throwing pillows and signing wasn't a stretch.

It was still a nice suprise

 

[inthewind]

In the Dornier Jet when the captain would go in the back to make his in range announcement to the people, he would go off comm 1. so as he was talking i used to pretend to get a radio call and start typing in the FMS scratchpad stuff like "dont say fu[k" or "b00bies" etc then grab him on the should like i just got a real important call from atc or something usually in mid sentence he'd look at the scratchpad. Great for a good laugh.

 

[TDTURBO]

I was the "recipient" of a nice little joke once.

Doing some aerial photo work in a 172 with a friend of mine, we tried turning on the computer but it didn't work. So...while he flew, I had to crawl over the front seat, over the back seat, and reach into the cargo area to turn on the CUP...on the way back up...uh...lets just say I did some flying of my own. That's the last time I'll go w/o a seatbelt like that...geez...

-mini

Ya gotta love 350.


Me and a CFII buddy of mine about 15 yrs ago had Bullett head in the back seat asleep, so we gently climbed an bled off airspeed and pushed the nose full foreward putting Bullett on the ceiling screaming "are we out of gas", we still laugh are ass off on that one.

 

[FearlessFreep]

At one place I worked at I was flying with the boss in a T-182. The boss was flying and I was working the radios just for the fun of it. ATC calls out traffic and I lean forward looking for the traffic and scanning the sky through the window. While doing that I had my free hand in front of my chest putting gentle constant forward pressure on the yoke till I watched the boss keep applying corrective trim. I then leaned back, releasing the pressure and watching his reaction to the out of trim condition and started my chuckling.

Another time I was jumpseating on a Shorts 360. It was the FO's leg and he was pretty tired. I slid forward out of view of the FO and started moving the left rudder pedal back and forth waiting for his reaction. The Captain joined in the deception.

In a early PA-28, there was a bunch of us flying together. I had one of the guys point out the trim handle (located on the overhead), I had unzipped the access panel on the rear overhead and just gently pulled the trim cables back and forth causing the handle to move on it's own. I would stop and then a few minutes later do it again to keep the guy flying trying guess what was going on.

 

[wrxpilot]

I hope you are kidding. That is not fuc*ing funny at all. He could have easily been killed and your @ss would be locked up for a long time as well as the POS mechanics. The pilot should have noticed this during his before T.O. checklist id he were diligent. Come to think of it they SHOULD charge the mechanic with reckless endangerment and attempted invoulintary manslaughter and then charge you as an accessory.

LOL! That is funny...

 

[Mmmmmm Burritos]

One I've heard from the ATR world. The AC breaks at an outstation and they need to position it back to a maintenance base with no passengers. Unbeknownst to the FA's, there will also be two deadheading pilots on board (you can see where this is leading!)

Well in the ATR there is a cargo bay inbetween the cockpit and the front of the cabin with a door on either end. The pilots need to walk through the cargo bay to get to the cabin and use the lav. So the pilots all got together for this scam and had the two deadheading pilots sit in the cargo bay for takeoff. Finally in cruise, one of the pilots come back to use the lav and starts chatting with the FA's. No big deal...

A few minutes later another pilot comes back to the cabin and the FA's get a little freaked out then. "Who is flying the plane?" etc. The pilots say the plane is on autopilot and not to worry. The FA's ask what about radio calls? The pilots explain they'll just check on when they get back to see if they missed anything. The FA's then relax a bit.

Finally the FO decides to return to the cockpit, but upon reaching the forward cabin door he realizes it's "locked". He starts freaking out and wiggling the handle. The captain comes up and has no luck with it either. Right about then the plane starts banking and pitching and the captain says the autopilot must have disconnected! The FA's are freaking out at this point needless to say! So the captain decides to rush the door from about halfway back in the cabin and right before he hits it he stops and asks "Has anybody tried knocking?". He then knocks and one of the other pilots let them in.

Needless to say the pilots didn't get any "action" that night I'm sure!

 

[cforst513]

LMFAO!!!! i think that is the funniest story so far....

 

[Wankel7]

Yeah, we have these BRIGHT dome lights in the Falcon...

I pointed at the dome light (at night) and was like what the hell is that? What is wrong with that light?

Just as he starts to stare at the light....I turned it on.

OWNED!

But he always nails me with bright lights

 

[Wankel7]

I hope you are kidding. That is not fuc*ing funny at all. He could have easily been killed and your @ss would be locked up for a long time as well as the POS mechanics. The pilot should have noticed this during his before T.O. checklist id he were diligent. Come to think of it they SHOULD charge the mechanic with reckless endangerment and attempted invoulintary manslaughter and then charge you as an accessory.

Bob Dole says you suck at the intraweb

 

[Lead Sled]

[font=ARIAL, Helvetica, Geneva]Does anyone remember the story about the (AA?) crew that involved a sleeve from a gorilla costume, a banana and the cockpit panel camera? I heard about it probably 20 years ago, but it is still one of the classics.[/font]

[font=ARIAL, Helvetica, Geneva]At the time there were camera in the cockpit that showed the panel and windscreen for the passengers. One of the pilots was wearing the gorilla costume sleeve. The cabin monitors showed this hairy arm pushing the power levers up for takeoff. At some point after the takeoff, the gorilla put his hand out and the other pilot put a banana in it. Funny stuff, but of course, some of the passengers were upset and the airline was embarrassed by it. It was in all of the newspapers and made network news.[/font]

[font=ARIAL, Helvetica, Geneva]'Sled


[/font]

 

[WizardPilot]

Thats a good one lead. Damn those flying monkeys...

 

[BD King]

There's quite a few of these type stories in THE LEFT SEAT by Bob Serling. One of my favorites was rolling old rusty nuts and bolts down the 3's isle on climb out.

www.bdkingpress.com

 

[EuroWheenie]

Mate of mine flies MD80s for SAS and told this story. They were on a testflight with a MD87 with an engineer onboard in the jumpseat. The MD87 in SAS disguise only have a lavatory in the back.

Anyway, they depart out of CPH and head south for Germany. Having completed the tests, and heading back North, the engineer gets up and says he needs to take a leak. He leaves the cockpit, and the FO starts the timer. X seconds later they reckon he should be in the lav. Another X seconds, and they reckon he should be doing the deed and then, A/P disconnect and a sporty 45 degree bank! Engineer returns to cockpit, all wet down one side of his pants

 

[91100 100 set]

I got into a little bit of an argument with one guy over the old stick shaker test a few years back. The first time he did it to me it was funny. The second and third times, it gets old.

The powered coffee creamer stuff in a closed eyeball vent works well, but it's probably not too good for the airplane.

I used to work with a guy in flight school who got his hands on the little reed device that Cessna uses for the stall warning horn. Doing airwork with his students, he'd casually look out the right side and blow on it during steep turns, slow flight, and such. I guess it really freaked them out sometimes, and probably not a bad lesson on actually feeling the symptoms of a stall and not just hearing them.

 

[hydroflyer]

I liked to have fun with CFI level students in the Piper training aircraft with the pitot/static drains in the cockpit. With the seat all the way back, I was able to take my right heal, and press on the pitot drain in flight. Depending on how hard I pressed, I could control the airspeed indication from 0 to the speed we were doing. It was always fun to see how long we would fly with the airspeed at 0 before they would say something. On one flight, I was playing with the indicator so much, that the student was going to write up the plane for a faulty airspeed indicator. I had one student believe I could control the speed by voice, if I said "60", the indicator would suddenly drop to 60.

 

[TDTURBO]

I liked to have fun with CFI level students in the Piper training aircraft with the pitot/static drains in the cockpit. With the seat all the way back, I was able to take my right heal, and press on the pitot drain in flight. Depending on how hard I pressed, I could control the airspeed indication from 0 to the speed we were doing. It was always fun to see how long we would fly with the airspeed at 0 before they would say something. On one flight, I was playing with the indicator so much, that the student was going to write up the plane for a faulty airspeed indicator. I had one student believe I could control the speed by voice, if I said "60", the indicator would suddenly drop to 60.

I fly Cessnas now but have a few hundred hrs in all types of pipers, where is this hole you plug up, on the floor in the SIC seat? I never heard of this one but sounds fun.

 

[MVSW]

I can see your chief pilot doing this at Pinnacle in the near future...

"TRAFFIC"....push her over at 410 dude....haha kidding....

..

real dorky man, real dorky...

I agree with the above, your "chief pilot" is an ass.

Thats not right

 

[FN FAL]

That's the nice thing about flying single pilot, I never have to worry about being rudely woken up by some prankster...which probably has saved me the trouble of having to use a pen or some other improvisement to create an open airway after dealing out a ridge hand across the clown's esophagus.

 

[PHX767]

I fly Cessnas now but have a few hundred hrs in all types of pipers, where is this hole you plug up, on the floor in the SIC seat?

SIC Seat???

Would that be on the Pipers that require a crew of two pilots, like the PA28?? Or maybe the PA44 Heavy??