Thanks for sharing this story, but candidly, the actions of someone fundamentally separate from you can not be considered your fault. You are not responsible for anyone's actions but your own... Those who have chosen to sacrifice themselves for whatever reason (candidly we've all had thoughts which we are not proud of) cannot manipulate other's lives, or else they have won.
Find a true goal and focus on that, then move on from there.
Find a true goal and focus on that, then move on from there.