I'm Dead Meat (Explained)

[de Pez]

Thanks for sharing this story, but candidly, the actions of someone fundamentally separate from you can not be considered your fault. You are not responsible for anyone's actions but your own... Those who have chosen to sacrifice themselves for whatever reason (candidly we've all had thoughts which we are not proud of) cannot manipulate other's lives, or else they have won.

Find a true goal and focus on that, then move on from there.

 

[JediNein]

Sounds more like "chopped liver" than dead meat to me.

Unfortunately, the inner family found it easier to deal with their grief by blaming you than by facing their own short-comings and "what if's."

Threatening murder is not an effective way to deal with grief and that person needs serious professional help. That call can be grounds for going to the police, indirect or direct doesn't matter.

However, you are still alive and able to take one day at a time.

And yer also making some of us feel better, "man, I'm glad I only have x to deal with, look at that poor fellah."

Keep us posted.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein

 

[Ty Webb]

Your # 1 priority has got to be to take care of yourself.

As others have suggested, get some counseling to get some tools to deal with this, or it will come back to haunt you. That could be the difference between months of getting it together, or years running from it.

Best of luck. Remember, you have dozens of people on this board who really do care about your situation and can help in a crisis. In the long run, thouh, it will be you who will put your life in order, when the time is right.

Best Regards, and stay in touch. This, too, will pass.

 

[Resume Writer]

Jon,

I know you are going through a tough time right now. However, as others have said, you cannot take the blame for what has happened. It was Amy's choice to do what she did. I am certain that there must have been things in her past that happened long before you came along.

Several years ago, I had a friend at my airline who decided to do the same thing that Amy did. I saw her on the employee bus about 2 days prior to her attempting suicide. She was way to happy for someone who had just separated from the person she loved. However, I did not take the time to really get into it with her as I had to get home to my son after a 4-day trip.

Later that weekend, she decided to put herself and her two kids in the car exactly as Amy did and tried to kill herself. She did not succeed. In fact, she ended up living and being tried for attempted murder of her two kids. She is now sitting in jail.

When people try or commit suicide, it is about a lot of pain that they are feeling inside and they see no other way to stop that pain. No one just has one problem that drives them to this point. It is usually cumulative over a period of many years. Low self esteem usually comes from years of some form of abuse. I suspect, especially with the reaction of her family (denial), that they just do not want to take responsibility for their part in this tragedy.

As others have said, take some time off, get some help to deal with this and move on with your life. I hope things get better for you.

Kathy

 

[na265]

Jon, I don't know how you feel. I looked at the Web site, the words you wrote seemed like you are at the bottom of your barrel. What Amy did was selfish. Take some time for you. Talk to family and friends, look to some professional help. Amy made a perminate solution out of a temporary problem. Good luck to you.

 

[ShyFlyGuy]

I know a lot of people feel the same way, that this was a very selfish act. But if only you knew Amy, she was the furthest from selfish, she gave and gave until she had nothing else to give.

Prime example: She worked in Truckee and had this gorgeous winter coat, real expensive. When she moved here in mid-April, her friend's girlfriend (the first time she ever met Amy) said that she really liked her coat and always wanted one like that. Without thinking, she gave her coat to that girl, no questions asked. She had no "backup" coat, just a cardigan-type thing.

Maybe it's not the best example, but this girl just wasn't selfish. She loved more and harder than anyone I've ever known... that's why this was such a shock. This loving, caring, and generous woman commiting such a selfish act was so unlike her. I am not going to live my life meditating on the single selfish act that I've ever known her to commit and forget the life she led. She has been the epitome of what love truly is.

Ah, nevermind me... I'm just a little bummed this morning. Rough night.

 

[othello]

Move,
Head to Alaska for a summer flying job or the west coast, Florida has tons of flying.
Get out of SouthBend for 6 month or a year. Out of sight Out of mind.

Best of luck to ya.

O

 

[8HourPilot]

Right on to Othello. Move out of that area. I live in AZO and would love to get out, in fact I am soon.

AK, FL, CA......start the job search.

 

[platinumclub]

Outta Here

Jon,
I think your plan to head to China is a great idea. Not only will you get as far away from everything that's going on now as possible, you'll also get the opportunity to see a vastly different culture from our own. I say head to China, do some serious soul searching, and figure out where you want to take your life when you get back. If it's not in aviation, so be it, getting out of Indiana is the most important thing for you right now. Best of luck!

~plat~

 

[ShyFlyGuy]

Thanks fellers. I'm looking for a replacement pilot now.