Idiotic Radio Calls

[captjim]

The MD-80 is more commonly known as the scab 80 at CAL.

 

[ataopsdave]

Newark Approach: "Continental XXXX traffic 10 oclock 3 miles is an american jet"

Continental XXXX: "Newark Approach I have always wanted to say this, I have the Fokker in sight.

____________________________________________________

Clearance Delivery: "Aloha 544 you are cleared to LAX via blah blah blah blah

Aloha 544: "we will do all that you just said"

 

[Freight Dog]

heheh... this happened to me a couple days ago:

Me: Clearance, Aloha XXX to Kahului with X-ray.

Clearance: Aloha XXX, you're clearened to Kahu.. uhh.. Kapolei.. uhh.. whatever.. as filed, climb to XXX, departure on 119.1, squawk xxxx.

Me: Um, OK... We're cleared to whatever as filed.. squawk xxxx.

 

[flipflyr]

back up...

I figure I'd bring this thread back closer to the top...

Just heard on Houston center freq. today (mind you, for all of you who weren't flying around the Gulf Coast today - it sucked - constant light, occasional moderate turbulence [pockets of severe] between 16000 and FL350).

SWA checks on: "Houston, Southwest xxxx, out of 15 for 260. It's so bumpy out here I'm having trouble throwin' the peanuts in my mouth!"

Houston: "Well, Southwest, try putting your hand closer to your mouth next time!"

 

[Stifler's Mom]

ATL Tower telling Aero Mexico to cross 27R after landing on 27L.

When Aero Mexico was taking too long, the tower controller said "Aero Mexico, hurry up and cross 27R, UNDULAY, UNDULAY, UNDULAY"

DAL in ATL asked ATL Approach if there were any smooth ride reports...ATC responed with "a smooth ride reported by a MARTA bus 5 East of the airport."

 

[Swaayze]

Coolio yesterday:

"we'll shout 'em out on 123.45" then (we got the same freq change immediately) "xyz 123 comin' atcha climbing..." and soon thereafter receiving a further climb..."we'll shoot it on up to 270". All in about a 5 minute span. We got a good laugh and envisioned the other pilot in the cockpit shaking his head!



"Yeah, I remember my first airline job."

 

[Skull-One]

I remember riding in the J/S on SWA.

Center: "Southwest 592, how's your ride?"

Captain: "Well, let's just say I've got whitecaps in my coffee!"

Center: "592, roger. Expect lower in two minutes."

 

[Gator1999]

Checking in with Washinton Center:

CTR: "What's a Mesaba anyway?"

MSA:"It's an ancient native american term, it means "should've taken the bus."

 

[thesource]

Delta L-1011 talking to ATL approach a while back.

Delta 123 Heavy slow to 140 knots.

Delta pilot, If we slow to 140 we'll fall out of the sky.

Atl, Roger Delta 123 heavy, report leaving all altitudes.

 

[Av8ter]

I was waiting to take off from LAX a few years ago, when a China Airlines 747 on short final approach was talking to the tower confused on where to land after getting cleared to land on the left runway (24L). I was holding to takeoff on the right 24R,

Twr: China 20 heavy, your cleared to land 24L, winds 200/10 contact ground on such and such

China pilot: Ah roger, China cleared to land 24L, right?

Twr: China 20, thats right!

Well you guessed it, that guy made a sharp turn to the right with his lights flashing on my plane and landed on 24R in front of me.

Scared the hell out of me...