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I need a hug...
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piginshlitz
Member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2003
- Posts
- 15
This should give us all some hope. It is a reply I recieved when I sent out the original post to some of my non-airline friends. It reminds me that not every piece of cabin balast is the one we talk about. There are a few who respect us and the traditions we wish we still lived by.
I can add a few:
PASSENGERS
1) It didn’t fit overhead the last time. It still doesn’t fit. It will never fit. Get a smaller bag or, and I know this is CRAZY, check it.
2) The privilege of having a fellow person sitting on only one side of you comes with a price. That price? You get to use one armrest. The poor sap sitting bitch in between the two cast members from “The Biggest Loser”? He gets both of his. Common courtesy, even if he *was* too stupid to pick a better seat when he booked/checked in. And if you’re sitting on the aisle, stay the hell out of the way of the FAs – your tasseled penny loafers included.
3) Getting to the aisle at warp speed the moment the aircraft shares the same zipcode with the jetway does NOT entitle you to get off ahead of your fellow passengers. You wait for the rows ahead of you, then you can go. And guys, how hard is it to remember ladies first?
4) “Inside voice” rules still apply – even if you’re on your cell and you’re in the terminal. For pete’s sake, the 90-year old deaf woman three gates down can hear you. Keep it under 80 decibels.
5) And speaking of cell phones, resist the temptation to notify your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/relative/co-worker that you’ve arrived THE MOMENT the plane has landed. Wait that extra 90 seconds until you’re in the terminal. I want to get out, get to my car, and go along my way. I don’t want to hear what you need Bob in accounting to do for you next week while you’re standing with your ass in my face. And speaking of asses…
6) Farting on the plane. Not cool. Not cool at all. I’m talking to you, too, ladies, with your little silent “no one will notice” ones. It’s a confined goddanged space. We all notice, every time.
I can add a few:
PASSENGERS
1) It didn’t fit overhead the last time. It still doesn’t fit. It will never fit. Get a smaller bag or, and I know this is CRAZY, check it.
2) The privilege of having a fellow person sitting on only one side of you comes with a price. That price? You get to use one armrest. The poor sap sitting bitch in between the two cast members from “The Biggest Loser”? He gets both of his. Common courtesy, even if he *was* too stupid to pick a better seat when he booked/checked in. And if you’re sitting on the aisle, stay the hell out of the way of the FAs – your tasseled penny loafers included.
3) Getting to the aisle at warp speed the moment the aircraft shares the same zipcode with the jetway does NOT entitle you to get off ahead of your fellow passengers. You wait for the rows ahead of you, then you can go. And guys, how hard is it to remember ladies first?
4) “Inside voice” rules still apply – even if you’re on your cell and you’re in the terminal. For pete’s sake, the 90-year old deaf woman three gates down can hear you. Keep it under 80 decibels.
5) And speaking of cell phones, resist the temptation to notify your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/relative/co-worker that you’ve arrived THE MOMENT the plane has landed. Wait that extra 90 seconds until you’re in the terminal. I want to get out, get to my car, and go along my way. I don’t want to hear what you need Bob in accounting to do for you next week while you’re standing with your ass in my face. And speaking of asses…
6) Farting on the plane. Not cool. Not cool at all. I’m talking to you, too, ladies, with your little silent “no one will notice” ones. It’s a confined goddanged space. We all notice, every time.
SiouxHockeyFan
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2005
- Posts
- 96
Z28_Pilot
Open Bar Dude!!!!!
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2005
- Posts
- 44
Since we're on the subject, I love when the person in front of you (oblivious to the fact that there is someone DIRECTLY behind you!) slams their seat back so hard that it's apparent they believe they might be able to blow the stops out and get a little more reclining action going!
-or the coughing/sneezing fit aimed in your direction (still clueless when I turn the gaspers toward them full blast!
-or the guy that tries to use my shoulder as his pillow so he doesn't disturb his wifes reading with his baboon-like snoring!
-or the schmuck that HAD to have a Jack 'n Coke at 10AM!!!, then proceed to dump it all over the dead-heading crewmember sitting next to him (me!)
-or the folks that bring the whole operation to a complete stand-still, because they have to "pee" while we're taxiing out to the runway!
-or the morons that think they'll get out ahead of everyone else if they pop the seatbelt off the second we touch down (actually, it's worth the show when the CA has to "spike" the brakes at the gate!)
-or the guy in the middle who believes that, not only are both armrests HIS!, but also about 6 in. of your space! - thank you!
HaHa.....I love commuting!
-or the coughing/sneezing fit aimed in your direction (still clueless when I turn the gaspers toward them full blast!
-or the guy that tries to use my shoulder as his pillow so he doesn't disturb his wifes reading with his baboon-like snoring!
-or the schmuck that HAD to have a Jack 'n Coke at 10AM!!!, then proceed to dump it all over the dead-heading crewmember sitting next to him (me!)
-or the folks that bring the whole operation to a complete stand-still, because they have to "pee" while we're taxiing out to the runway!
-or the morons that think they'll get out ahead of everyone else if they pop the seatbelt off the second we touch down (actually, it's worth the show when the CA has to "spike" the brakes at the gate!)
-or the guy in the middle who believes that, not only are both armrests HIS!, but also about 6 in. of your space! - thank you!
HaHa.....I love commuting!
ClearRight
><>
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2001
- Posts
- 183
People, man.
Once, getting on a full 6 hour overseas flight (coach), I slid into the coveted middle seat to find that the space under the seat in front of me was filled to overflowing with someone else's crap. I am not a tall guy, but my knees were bent past 90 degrees from all the stuff. People on both sides of me. When I identified who the perp was, and politely asked if they would move said crap so I could put my own crap there (full overhead), the guy looked at me like I'd just stripped naked and said "So you want me to sacrifice my personal comfort so you can be comfortable?"
Whaaat?
The only appropriate response I could think of at the time would have landed me in the joint, and the strain of supressing the urge to carry it out rendered me speechless. Finally I said "just move your sh!t."
It bugs me to this day that I couldn't think of any better comeback, because I still can't. Anyone? I want a hip pocketer for WHEN it happens again.
Once, getting on a full 6 hour overseas flight (coach), I slid into the coveted middle seat to find that the space under the seat in front of me was filled to overflowing with someone else's crap. I am not a tall guy, but my knees were bent past 90 degrees from all the stuff. People on both sides of me. When I identified who the perp was, and politely asked if they would move said crap so I could put my own crap there (full overhead), the guy looked at me like I'd just stripped naked and said "So you want me to sacrifice my personal comfort so you can be comfortable?"
Whaaat?
The only appropriate response I could think of at the time would have landed me in the joint, and the strain of supressing the urge to carry it out rendered me speechless. Finally I said "just move your sh!t."
It bugs me to this day that I couldn't think of any better comeback, because I still can't. Anyone? I want a hip pocketer for WHEN it happens again.
Jurassic Jet
Freight Trash
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2005
- Posts
- 227
semperfido
Keep Humpin
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2004
- Posts
- 1,873
flying4food
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2002
- Posts
- 171
flighter said:
He is right on the money. This is what happens when you hire low-time punks from Embry-Riddle who are all-too happy and giddy to be an "airline pilot" flying a jet. Embry-Riddle and Romper Room all evoke the same thoughts and images.
The 22-year-old's look like dorks when they walk through the terminal with their hair-gel and attitude of "wow look at me, I are an airline pilot". Why don't most of you punks humble yourselves and paste your W-2's to the back of your flight cases?
Playing tag in the jetway?? And you wonder why you are paid less than the average derelict?
And what is up with that dude wearing the mask and holding up the axe and fire extinguisher IN FLIGHT while his captain is taking his picture? Yeah, that's professional.
skyslug
Oops!
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2001
- Posts
- 242
...and the horizontally gifted in the seat behind you who needs YOUR headrest for leverage just to extricate him/herseft out of their seat. During this process, as their hand goes to your headrest they manage to grab your hair and yank it out thus leaving 2,439 billion hairs seperated from your head 
! And in this process also manage to break the seat back therefore causing a delay because now your seat won't stay upright.
All this so the horizontally gifted can get a package of Cheetoh's out of the overhead in preparation for survival on the 2 hour flight.
I was thankful that I wasn't in the middle seat next to that person since their rather large and polyester clad buttockal reagion would have been smack in my face during this process, which took quite a while I might add!
! And in this process also manage to break the seat back therefore causing a delay because now your seat won't stay upright. All this so the horizontally gifted can get a package of Cheetoh's out of the overhead in preparation for survival on the 2 hour flight.
I was thankful that I wasn't in the middle seat next to that person since their rather large and polyester clad buttockal reagion would have been smack in my face during this process, which took quite a while I might add!
S
Snapshot
My favorite was the guy who had his jacket draped lengthwise, covering the entire bottom of the overhead bin. When I folded his jacket so that it only took up half the bin so I could put my bag in the other half. He jumped up, got in my face and informed me that he was going to "kick my ass" for touching his jacket. The guy was had about 70 hard years of being a loser on his 60 year old body (Apparently he was one of Herman's Hermits, you might have heard of them if you went to high school in 1955).
This is the part I hate about such situations. I am a guest of the airline and consider myself even more restricted in my options in interactions with customers. The aforementioned professionalism is a real pain in the balls in most commuting situations, especially if in uniform.
Of course, they're dropping the parking brake and trying to push, so all I could do was inform him that the overhead bin was not his personal coat rack and that there was, in fact, a coat closet at the front where they would be happy to hang up his precious jacket. I also informed him that I would make myself available at the gate at our destination for further discussion as to the business of ass kicking. Imagine my surprise when he had left the area by the time I deplaned. Must've been late for his gig at the local high school gym.
My personal favorite are pax who seem to think that grocery sacks and trash bags are luggage.
None of this was in the brochure when I signed up........
This is the part I hate about such situations. I am a guest of the airline and consider myself even more restricted in my options in interactions with customers. The aforementioned professionalism is a real pain in the balls in most commuting situations, especially if in uniform.
Of course, they're dropping the parking brake and trying to push, so all I could do was inform him that the overhead bin was not his personal coat rack and that there was, in fact, a coat closet at the front where they would be happy to hang up his precious jacket. I also informed him that I would make myself available at the gate at our destination for further discussion as to the business of ass kicking. Imagine my surprise when he had left the area by the time I deplaned. Must've been late for his gig at the local high school gym.
My personal favorite are pax who seem to think that grocery sacks and trash bags are luggage.
None of this was in the brochure when I signed up........
Rez O. Lewshun
Save the Profession
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2004
- Posts
- 13,422
Snapshot said:
Nobody signed up for Katrina as well......
Yet this is the world we live in.... adpat or die....
The people that will get farther are the ones that can easily manage or blow off clowns like this and move on. Focus on the positive and put forth energy on getting things done....
We all have the potential to be the guy with the coat.... Recall, we judge others by thier actions and ourselves by our thoughts.....
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