Funny things overheard on the radio

[big_al]

yeah the VGT controllers are real pricks..used to fly in there sometimes and also could listen on I tihnk 89.5fm when you drive by.. they're always berrating somebody for no real reason

id say thats a pretty good reason!

 

[VSI9k+]

C172 on the ground at ADS-"Oh baby yeah that feels good", he had a hot mike
ADS tower-"Do you have time to take off, or do you want to sit there for a while?"

 

[JetDriver2727]

C172 on the ground at ADS-"Oh baby yeah that feels good", he had a hot mike
ADS tower-"Do you have time to take off, or do you want to sit there for a while?"

I must tell this story on myself as enough time has passed to let it heal. Many years ago, as a newly licensed private pilot I took my girlfriend up for a local flight. On very short final I looked over at her and asked, "Do you want a smooth landing?" .......and the rest follows......

Me....You sure you want a smooth landing
Her....Yes
Me..... a smooth f---ing landing?
Her....Yes!
Me.....a REAL SMOOTH f---ing landing?
Her.....YES!

After touch down we taxied clear of the runway and tower/ground control cleared us to the GA portion of the airport, unprompted. After about 10 seconds of radio silence the tower asked, "Cherokee XXX, you got time for a question?"
"Sure I do"
"The guys and I were wondering exactly how smooth that landing was?"
I knew at that instant that I had been holding the PTT button on yoke all the way through round-out and flare.... Oops!

 

[MFRskyknight]

maybe it was a small helium ballon and the tower didnt think of it as any real threat

Yeah, it was just a small helium balloon that broke loose from a dealership display. You could hear the controller rolling his eyes. He's working his butt off maintaining seperation and all that for all the airshow activity and here comes this guy puttering around outside the class D ring at 6,000 feet opposite all the action with his report. If it was a weather balloon (or 500 of them with a guy in a lawnchair attached, for that matter), I'd have reported it, but for a little helium balloon? I dunno, just seemed strange at the time.

MFR

 

[McNugget]

Chuck Norris would have turned the controls over to his sidekick, jumped out of his 172, and taken that balloon out on the way down. Of course, Chuck Norris is so tough, he doesn't even need a parachute!

 

[TrafficInSight]

Chuck Norris, like Inspector Gadget, has a built in parachute. Unlike Gadget, however, he knows how to use it.

 

[Pyle It]

Prom date????

Hey minitour that prom date one sounds entirely to familiar.........I believe it was N5164M.

Take care

 

[Gorilla]

North Vegas Ground: Cirrus XXX where are you taxiing to?

...

North Vegas Ground: Cirrus XXX please taxi to the base of the tower so that we can talk about who is special

My mouth dropped and I told my student time to get the hell out of here. Never in my life did I think I would hear something like that except for those emails that get sent out... Goes to my theory that the Cirrus would be the new doctor killer if it wasnt for those standard equipped chutes that they have.

HAHA! I have this wonderful mental image of the Cirrus gunning his engine and taxiing towards the tower. As he realizes the gravity of his situation, <ploop> the 'rescue chute' is deployed in a vain attempt to save his butt.

 

[dseagrav]

the 'rescue chute' is deployed in a vain attempt to save his butt.

I heard that when you pull the handle, it fires the parachute out the back of the airplane and a NASA form into the front.

 

[time builder]

Pilot: Center, do you have traffic at my 9 o'clock low?
Center: Uh, no, but there is an airport 5 miles west of you.
Pilot: Uh, ... disregard.

 

[AirBadger]

Not really that funny, more like stupid. CAP kids training and the instructor asks (yes, the instructor) if the tower could give him the pressure altitude. Same CAP plane at the hold short line, either the student or the instructor drops a binder or something on the taxiway (somehow it escaped the airplane) and tower had to wake up the airport fire department just to go and pick it up.

 

[minitour]

Hey minitour that prom date one sounds entirely to familiar.........I believe it was N5164M.

Take care

Still the best thing I've ever heard on the radio... How ya doin?

-mini

 

[minitour]

I heard that when you pull the handle, it fires the parachute out the back of the airplane and a NASA form into the front.

ROFL

-mini

 

[Bjammin]

When the Navy first starting getting female students in jets:

Ground: "Shad 732 taxi to your line. Beware of cones left side of taxiway A"
Shad 732:"Cones on the taxiway?! I've got cones in the cockpit!"
Ground: "Roger"

 

[Gorilla]

Balloons: I was once parked, engines running, in an F-15 at Eglin. I don't remember why, probably some exercise, but both engines are turning, and I'm waiting. Bored too.

About 2 miles away, I see a funny, cow-sized black object exit the woods at the field perimeter. It is floating along, bouncing too, like a ghost, a bad special effect from a 1950's movie. About a mile away, I realize it's about 50 toy balloons inside a huge garbage bag. And it is coming straight at me. I cannot move the jet.

100 yards to go, and it is still coming directly at me. The weird thing was that I had been watching it for maybe 40 minutes... the entire time, it was like it was locked on to me. I radiod our ramp rat and said "I gotta shut down." No time to wait for a reply, I kill both engines as the balloon ghost impacts my nose gear. A few moments later, I see it exit to the rear and continue across the field.

In the AF, you are not allowed to crank without a ground crew, a big fire bottle, etc. No way on my own to crank it back up. They had to bring out a tug and drag me back to the ramp area. "What'd you shut down for?" "A big garbage bag of balloons." "Uhhh, OK, whatever." Shot down by 50 cents worth of latex and plastic.

Anyone ever seen one of the ultra-high altitude research balloons launched at the WSMR in Alamogordo at dusk? These are the HUGE silver jobs that float up to 120,000'. They are visible for hundreds of miles, and are so high up that they look like a small moon. At dusk, they are still in direct sunlight. It's a cool sight.