Funny things overheard on the radio

[g4800xp]

Heard on the radio

I heard a pilot with a stuck mike have a fit because he did not have pudding in his catering.

 

[LAMESAUCE]

pilots: "center, XXX 1234, question..."
center: "go ahead"
pilots: "you know a 6 letter word that means blabbermouths, second letter B?"
center: "standby"


center: "you know, i asked around, and we have no clue. maybe that's why we have no windows in our office."

 

[Deerkiller]

Center: UAL5678 contact ABC center on 123.4
UAL5678: 123.4 UAL5678

United forgets to flip the switch

UAL5678: ABC Center UAL5678 FL350
Center: (without missing a beat) UAL5678, roger, hey, just wondering
how would rate the controller on your previous freq?
UAL5678: uh, just average
Center: JUST AVERAGE!!!!! wow, alright, now flip the switch to 123.4
UAL5678: oh
Center: MAN!! I even gave you direct
UAL5678: yeah, sorry

 

[down2mins]

Center: UAL5678 contact ABC center on 123.4
UAL5678: 123.4 UAL5678

United forgets to flip the switch

UAL5678: ABC Center UAL5678 FL350
Center: (without missing a beat) UAL5678, roger, hey, just wondering
how would rate the controller on your previous freq?
UAL5678: uh, just average
Center: JUST AVERAGE!!!!! wow, alright, now flip the switch to 123.4
UAL5678: oh
Center: MAN!! I even gave you direct
UAL5678: yeah, sorry

I love it!

 

[kaisersose]

While working for Calex in 97 or 98. I was taxiing out and another one or our erj's was in front of me and a Delta MD-80 in front of him.

Delta: We need to do a cross bleed.
Ground: Stand by there is a Calex RJ behind you. Move up to the next intersection then proceed with the crossbleed.

80 taxis up...

Delta: Tell that pencil jet to stay back if he doesn't want to get hurt.
Calex RJ: Tell Delta he can blow me any time.

 

[FR8FO]

at LGA i believe: American 123 "tower there's black kids (much worse on the radio, i won't say what the pilot said) throwing rocks at our airplane

tower: hold on there american 123, i'll have airport security look into the kids throwing rocks at you but you can't use that kind of language on the radio

american: i know i'm sorry i'm pissed off and having a bad day

tower: eagle flight 123 (behind american) can you confirm what's happening over there

eagle 123: yes sir, they was black kids

 

[FR8FO]

female pilot: center american 123 can we get a shortcut?

another airplane pipes in: honey your whole career has been a shortcut

 

[Princedietrich]

Overheard on the southwest Ohio sector of Indy center several years ago:

Pilot: Indy Center, XXXX checking in 9000 with a query (he pronounced it queer-ee)
Center: You know what the opposite of a query is, right?
(several seconds of silence)
Pilot: Uh, no. What?
Center: A straight question.

 

[ERJFO]

Taxing in IAH:

Tower: "Contiental 975 follow the company RJ from right to left, join november bravo and contact ground point 7"

Contiental 975: "My company doesn't have RJ's, we'll follow them and go to ground."

Unknown ExpressJet Guys: "Yeah, well my company doesn't have scabs - you can still follow us."

 

[zbwmy]

Center: UAL5678 contact ABC center on 123.4
UAL5678: 123.4 UAL5678

United forgets to flip the switch

UAL5678: ABC Center UAL5678 FL350
Center: (without missing a beat) UAL5678, roger, hey, just wondering
how would rate the controller on your previous freq?
UAL5678: uh, just average
Center: JUST AVERAGE!!!!! wow, alright, now flip the switch to 123.4
UAL5678: oh
Center: MAN!! I even gave you direct
UAL5678: yeah, sorry

I do that one often.......