Funniest Thing You've Heard on the Radio?

[Kream926]

TIZZY is a fix at KATL. Occasionally, I'd call the tower with:

Hello, Atlanta Tower, Acey 456 is in a tizzy for 9R.

do you say it with a lisp and put your hand out to the side?

 

[PeanuckleCRJ]

I would always call "under PAYED" when I checked in for 4L in DTW.

 

[BUPilot]

About 3 months ago, I heard one of our 250 hour radio jockeys ask: XXX Approach, FLGXXXX, what kind of aircraft are we flying.... um... following?

Priceless...

Also a great callsign I've heard lately at night with BOS CTR... "Virgin 2 Heavy". Some smart ass keyed up with "well that explains a lot."

 

[DX Rick]

The other day were at LGA and ground was giving directions to an Air Whisey crew. Ground tells them to follow NWA who will be passing.
Air Whiskey fires back that there is no NWA in eye sight.
Ground told them to wait a couple of seconds and NWA will be passing infront. Air Whiskey (must have been thier first time in LGA) says "Ground, are you sure you have the right Air Whiskey plane in sight?"

LGA "Yes, thanks for asking. Now sit tight until I get back to you."

For the remainder of our taxi, we never heard ground talk to them again.

 

[waveoff]

This guy I used to fly with at my previous job, I'll call him DH, would always insist on answering the radio whenever we were issued a new squawk code. The radio exchange would go down like this:

Center: Options 830, squawk 4350
DH: Roger, 4350 coming in the box

I'd get a little chuckle out of it every time. I don't know if anyone else ever picked up on it though. I never heard any comments back or chuckling on the radio.

 

[BoDEAN]

On OHare ground (outbound) when instructed to taxi to 4L via Bravo, Juliet, and Whiskey, I sometimes hear "Roger, B J and a Whiskey, 4L"
Gets a few chuckles.

 

[#%&@$!]

Just tonight,

"JFK clearance, Connie 9703, with X-ray to Newark"

"Connie 9703, cleared to Newark via the Lincoln Tunnel"

 

[belchfire]

Me checking in with CLT at o-dark-stupid in the morning...

"Charlotte Approach, Catbird 310, 7000 feet with Wiskey"

KCLT "Catbird 310 your're number...you're the only one for the airport, cleared for the approach to 36 right and to the ramp with me!"

There are some really nice things about flying at night...

 

[belchfire]

Just tonight,

"JFK clearance, Connie 9703, with X-ray to Newark"

"Connie 9703, cleared to Newark via the Lincoln Tunnel"

That fracking repo...Where else on the frelling planet can you take a fracking M.84 economy cruise jet 16 nm in a straight line and block over two hours-and still beat a limo!!!

Pain in the hemmeroid!

 

[Gandalf]

Seattle center one fine fall evening. All of a sudden talking on center freq. WTF?

Anyone seen SNL - Alec Baldwin?

Cue your best Sean Connery voice - "Shweaty, Shweaty Ba!!s, I bet you like my shalty, shweaty ba!!s..., shweaty, shalty...."

He does the entire skit - and clicks off.

A female United voice, rather curt - "You know you are on an open ATC freq."

Silence for 5 min.

ATC comes back and says, "ATC is back for now." You can hear everyone busting a gut in the background.

Silence.........

...."Anyone out there"

ATC - "Yeah" - laughter in the background.

Silence........

You know they played that tape over and over!

 

[wacoflyr]

Flying freight one night several years ago over northern New England, about 3am in an old 310. Controller gets a stuck mike, and the female controller sitting next to him says "Say, maybe we should have dinner one night. Want to have dinner?" Luftansa calls down from the redeye from Germany. "You better ask the frauline out to dinner, or we will come up from New York and we will ask her out. You hear that mister controller man?"

 

[Skyliner]

On outbound ground freq, O'Hare:

GND: "Eagle Flight 400, taxi two-two left, bravo and delta, follow the second MD-80 from the right."

(no response)

GND: "Eagle Flight 400, did you copy?"

(no response)

GND: "Eagle Flight 400? EAGLE FLIGHT 400?!!"

(other transmissions...couple minutes go by)

EGF420: "Ground, were you trying to call Eagle Flight 420?

GND: "Ah...I see, four-twenty. Metering gave me the strip for an Eagle Flight four hundred. The next sound you will hear is his flesh being contacted by my hand. [owww!]"

(later)

GND: "Eagle Flight 420, you can cut through the pad and taxi around the other aircraft waiting for takeoff, we'll make up for metering's earlier indiscretions. [Hey!]"